HOSTEL!!!

Yippee! I am finally going back to my hostel tomorrow. I am not trying to say I hate living here, I just am happier there because I can be independent in my own life. Perhaps, people think I am insane for saying this but well. This is just me. You know something? I have been wanting to do my own laundry since I was 13 years old and I rarely had the chance because DAD asked Granny to do MY laundry so that I could focus on my studies. That was epic, seriously!

Well, in hostel, I have changed quite a lot. I've grown to be less attached to people around me (which clearly reduces my depression meter), I've grown to talk better to strangers. I've grown better to suit myself in groups of unknown people (as compared to JUST a week before hostel, I was so preserved to my own social clique that I don't dare venturing about other cliques)!

Yes, I am happy there; I am happy here too. I am happy on both places.
Conclusion? God heard me.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: I have made some changes in my side bar. Please be sure to check them. Oh and I feel blessed that I have someone (Eric) to share one of my many things to do before I die - to get a DSLR. So, I am not alone on this. That's good, right?

My ex-friends?

Well yeah, it is pretty weird to call them this. Specifically three of them. I used to be in a big noisy group in school and I hang out with them almost every single time they organised something, however, things changed since the second week of March. I realised that I have to safe money for college. Well, what can I say? These people (but dominantly the three I am referring to) started talking behind my back, which I honestly found it heartbreaking. I dumbly deactivated my account to avoid them.

Well then, 7th April where I went for the mass gathering in Sunway Pyramid, I had never expected myself to be away from the whole group now. To be honest, but I knew somehow, things between me and the three of them are rather... not in really good terms. So, I didn't talk much to these three, but continued with the whole gang playing and shopping.

Last two weeks were the final blow where I had enough of the (so-called) insults. It all happened in Facebook - the group that I was in it. (Note that A,B and C are the people whom I have some minor issues with)
A (on wall post): Should we invite M into our group?
Me: Tell me a reason :)
A: Like duh, he hangs out with us more often than you do.
Me: Alright then. Put him in, and I'll go out. I'm outta here.
And from this line below, I did a sneak peak from someone else's account. They have not expected me to know of this, at all.
B: Did he just kicked himself out of the group?
M: I hope it is not because of me.
A: No, it's my comment. It's quite harsh.
B: So now are we supposed to invite him in again? Are we to cry or celebrate his leave?
A: YAHOO!!!!!!
Then comes this good friend, N who defended me without knowing I would read it again.
N: Hey guys. Please don't say this. Although he could be irritating at times, he is still our friend.
C: Sometimes? No, wait. It's all the times!
...
So folks, you see now how I felt? I did not block them on Facebook fore mere reasons. Well, I might be immature for not talking things out and left everyone so dumbfounded but yeah, I am hurt. People do unexpected and often offensive things when they are hurt. Don't you agree?

Some who reads this now might think that I am rather stupid too and they might suggest to pretend things don't happen. I am sorry because this is not who I am. Things happen. Yes they do. I don't pretend it doesn't.

I regret not listening to Kevin earlier. He did say that my group consisted of 80% plastics. Well, not that much, as a matter of fact, but even 1% of plastic now is enough to make me flee from them. I do not wish to go for plastic bags. Go green, yes.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Adult Content Warning

Yes, folks. I have officially made my blog an Adult Content blog. If you're thinking of pornography, I am sorry to disappoint you.

I feel that I filter too much vital informations that I would like to share to anyone I like through this blog. Yes, I know I am always radical in my own ways but I am no extremist, no worries. So what I am gonna do in future is this:
1. Of course to update readers about my life
2. Since I've set the adult content warning, "The blog that you are about to view may contain content only suitable for adults." So please, think maturely. Not like an adult, as I am not one fully grown adult myself. Just think maturely and stand on the fence and ponder my view (as my views are most of the time, on the fence)

I do not wanna hear people crying or reporting about me because it is radical (I will not put names whom I have misunderstanding with. I will try not to, because it is simply too bad for doing so) and mildly offensive. I promise you I will not scold these people with foul language unless they really deserve it, because by saying these words like fuck, motherfucking asshole... Just somehow makes me look dumb-ER.

Thank you. Stay tuned.
Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Over-thinking and Hostel Day 5

This is reason number 2 I hate being me. When I am rather close to people and even when they show their sense of distaste to someone or something else, I would be offended. Yeah, I know. I am a bitch. That is inevitable.

But reason number 1 I hate being me: I imprint.
THIS IS JUST TOO INTOLERABLE for me, no. I would not say for me. I would say for him - Alex. Too many unrequited love affections with too many people. I hope I am not talking nonsense here. I am really REALLY afraid I have done my imprinting already. Dammit. Alex, salva me. Domine, salva me fons pietatis.

I think I should sleep. Yeah. Otherwise, people who read my blog would be offended or worse, misunderstand me.

>Today's Mass Call was very tiring. However, tomorrow will be even tiring. I will be waking up at 7am and get ready for my orientation programs tomorrow. Hostel tonight. Dinner outside with 3 other friends. Then I spent my lifeless night in Eric's room again. Another few hours there. I am a little afraid that he somehow... detests my presence. Well, I wouldn't know about how they would think of it right? Let's just hope not.

Placebo effect: No, no. It will not be. I am sure of this!

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Hostel Day 3

Day 2 was supercalifragilisticespialidociously DULL and DEAD!!! So, I wouldn't have ANYTHING at all to say, in fact I doubt I did anything memorable.

Today was rather better. Remember the cute guy who helped me with the check-in? He knocked my door around 6pm. Before 6pm, my life was rather dull and dead also. Yeah and so he knocked my door and asked me out for dinner with him and some other people. Like I've said: in college, Sociology 101 is vital.

And when it was about 7pm, 10 of us dined together. I can't remember the exact number, so let's just put it that way, shall we? We dined and we talked all the way till 8.30pm. Right after that, we went back into our hostel and I went to that cute guy's room (don't worry, the door was not closed) and talked and then went to other people's rooms and talked to them, getting to know them more and stuffs and I again (as lifeless as I could get) went to his room again (oh, he's Rick), and continued chatting all the way until now (about 1.30am).

I've finally decided not to disturb him, as everyone needs some privacy. Right now, I am here blogging, talking with Aruna via Facebook and that's basically it. I'm still thinking whether should I read Wuthering Heights tonight.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: I am indeed very lucky to get this block. These people are really cool. God heard me.