Today is 12/11/2011

Yesterday, God finally answered my call! I love You, God. Thanks for granting my wish. My Dad's sickness is finally over.

Dad, if you read this...
I wanna apologize that I have not been a good son to you, by sinning against you when you were down. I was/am naive about the circumstances and plans that you have laid for me. You might come home drunk, you might talk nonsense. You might even scold me for my wrongdoings. You left me. You came back. You left me again. You came back again. You didn't know that last week was my first time, I shed tears for you when I knew you were leaving back to the UK again. I guess, all these while, when I lied to myself and said, "Let things be. I don't wanna be bothered," was just a lie. That night, when I cried, I noticed that whatever that happened, whatever psychological torture you gave me since you met Patricia, I couldn't hate you, although I did say so a few times in the past. I simply couldn't. My heart denied that feeling that I was trying to plant into it (because I don't wanna be hurt in future anymore). You have lost my respect since you didn't hear my pleas.

But yesterday, Dad. You have gained my respect again. I could finally see your responsibility as a Dad, not just giving me my financial needs for the next 4 years to come but also gave me advices regarding investments and savings as well as protecting me last night. I finally see it. You have always respected my choices in whatever I do and only detest my choices when I am proven to have bad judgments, now I shall respect your choice to go back to the UK. Thank you, Dad. I love you. I also love You, God for giving me such pleasant evening yesterday, although it rained pretty badly at first.

That's not all. My English teacher also told me that I am very unique when it comes to acting. She said that not many could actually forget who they are in reality to get into the role of the characters. We also discussed on the matter of synchronization of music and acting lines. Apparently there is a very huge breach of communication between these two. It was my fault for neglecting the music line. I'm sorry. All in all, next Monday, everything shall be discussed and finalized. The performance is coming nearer each minute and I still can't see something solid from the group. Despite the fact that we have been practising since the beginning of the semester, we still have a lot of space for improvement. I am a fair person and I am saying this justly, "If we don't do something about this by next week, we'll be humiliating ourselves on the stage next month."

When I reached home and went for my Music Theory class, there was another message uttered with sincerity by my Music teacher which inspired me, and thus I believed that my enthusiasm has made her day too...

We were in Melody Composition. It was an eight-bar melody of composition. I chose to compose for the cello (I will always do so, because that's the only bass-clef instrument I know of) and my teacher and I volleyed each other on the melody at cadence points. She told me that she has always taught her students to reply to the opening melody by using SEQUENCE/ IMITATION, because to her, that's the safest method (besides scales of course).

My words touched her; I said, "Sorry. Please let me think of the melody. It's running in my head already," we kept quiet until I wrote my last note. After I wrote out the melody, she tried changing it by using her method of teaching her students - sequence/ imitation. I said, "No. It is not meant to be played this manner. The final note cannot be played with the low F note. This piece is meant to be happy! The low F note suggests 'This is the end of my melody composition and I want you to clap NOW'." She smiled and nodded her head and we agreed on retaining the high F note.

Then, she told me to add the musical performance directions which I immediately added because such articulations were already in my head when she tried my melody on the piano. I noticed that she asked me a lot of questions (I sensed she was quite excited) during my "decorating" session, "Upbow, downbow?" "Want to slur?" "Louder here perhaps?" I took some and rejected many. I did not mean to disrespect her. I wanted to prove to her that, that was what was in my mind and I wanted her to comment on my composition. I also believe that compositions are never rigid. The 4 golden rules (Sequence, Imitation, Repetition and Contrast) and simply provided as guidelines. I did more passing and auxilliary notes and broken chords instead.

When it was time to bid each other goodbye, she finally said, "All these while, I have never met a student which has the melody constructed in their heads. They always follow what I say. If I do not tell them what to do, in their minds, they're all empty."

I retorted, "But, come on! All you students play the piano. Can't they imagine?"

Her reply was very sensible, "Don't you know that most children are forced by their parents?"

I kept quiet, knowing that she was absolutely right about this. She progressed on talking about her colleague who has been teaching the piano for 14 years never has a student going for the ABRSM Grade 8 practical examination. I couldn't agree more on her heartache.

She also voiced her sadness (though not directly) to me about how her students seem uninterested and how they all show very slow progress in their practical. Then I joked, "Then, Mr. William is indeed very lucky to have me as his student for guitar! I am the fastest student in his classes. Usually, one month, we will go up another level." I bid her goodbye and good night.

To these people, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all have made my day. Really. Thank you.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: For my non-avid readers, my Dad's sickness, it's metaphorical.
PSS: Damn! As I do my editing of the title, I just noticed that yesterday was indeed a special day - thanks to 11/11/11!!

What I did these few days?

Ironic enough, I didn't study although I am having my test next week (Wednesday and Friday).

On Friday, I came home early, around 5pm and went for my aural class on 7.30pm and later ended on 8pm. I then waited for half an hour for my individual guitar lesson to begin which lasted until 9.30pm. Dinner with Granny until 11pm and from thence, I was free. I read a few chapters from Il Principe (The Prince), a medieval political philosophy by Nicollo Macchiaveli, and slept.

On Saturday, I woke up at 11 or so, in the morning and had my kick of coffee and drove to pay for my broadband internet service in Jusco and played a game of pool, alone. Then, I wandered alone to Popular and MPH to find for Romeo and Juliet (a book which I have been hunting for months!) but to no avail. I ended up reading a few articles on a book in Popular, regarding "Hak Ketuanan Melayu" written by a Chinese Muslim man, I forgot his name, though.

After a while, I drove back home and fetched Granny to visit my cousin sister. Talked to them for quite a duration, and then, I took a nap there, while Granny continued chatting with her until I heard baby Anna's loud cry - she accidentally slipped herself and hit her mouth on the floor. Poor girl... But the good part about it was that she was able to vomit out a lot of phlegm that we were shocked to see she has been containing (she was sick earlier)!

After Anna had stopped crying, we both made a move and stopped somewhere in Rasah. I spent RM45 for 3 durians. 2 kampong ones and 1 udang merah. DAMN, I should've bought 2 udang merahs instead. But... it's over, so what now? Live with it. Then I went to Family Store to buy some things to bring back to my hostel, and to bake cake. I was successful in inventing the recipe Orange Chocolate Cake! Granny praised me for it! AWESOME!!! This was inspired with the Chocolate Orange drink which I've bought in Pasar Malam past few weeks. We called it a day after that. It was 9.14pm.

I then spent my time here checking out stuffs and read the final chapters of The Prince and here I am, blogging about my completion. I'm so glad I have finally finished reading this wonderous philosophy!

I'll be going back on Sunday (which is today). Probably around noon, with a friend of mine. Wait for my updates then, alright?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Dance and other dilemmas

Dance. It is getting stressful now, seeing that a couple is better than the both of us. So we decided to continue dancing a little while longer after lesson which was 9am to 11am, and we dragged on to 12pm. Then we both headed for lunch and talked all the way until 12.50pm, as she had to go for her lecture at 1pm. We promised to meet up again in the hostel after she finished her lecture at 3pm and thence, we danced till my body ached. I believe she is rather in pain now too.

We danced rock and roll and cha cha all the way till 5pm and I had to rush for my orchestra practice. New things are hard to handle but I am getting a grip of the technical side in music theory, so it shouldn't be a BIG problem to me, as a newbie. Since the conductor is away for some reasons, I somehow wishes to volunteer but... Who am I? I didn't even dare to ask! Well yes, I know my conducting skills would be very "flaysome" at some points because I conduct with spirit, not theories. Screw that.

7pm, with my instrument, I went dinner with my hostel gang nearby. I ate too much and too salty that I ended up drinking too much of sweet drinks - 6 glasses of drinks all together for the whole day yesterday and I binged myself with tonnes of water and I couldn't and didn't feel like taking a lag. I was really worried and tired last night so I succumbed into my sleep at 12.15am, after teaching my friend Quantitative Studies.

That was all for the day.

The other dilemmas: Replacement classes. I have to replace 3 classes because...
16/6/2011 ALL TARC MERIT SCHOLARSHIP HOLDERS are required to be there as witnesses in a loan giving ceremony. Now, you see... Nothing is free in the world. However, I'd rather attend this (and forgo my lessons on that day, and then replace them) than to attend my lessons, and I might be faced with consequences that my scholarship might be withdrawn. No, I don't want that. No, no, no.

21/6/2011 I have my exam. ABRSM Grade 2 Music Practical Examination. Scales and pieces are all in my head but I am afraid of: sight reading, singing. Otherwise, things would be fine. I hope they would be fine. PLEASE BE FINE! I would freeze my guitar for the moment and pursue musical theory first. Later, I shall continue my guitar lessons. Let's see how things fly :)

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Aural Class Review and another sub-story

Today, I woke up rather groggily for aural class at 9am and prepared myself for it and went for class at 10am. The teacher was good and rather funny too. For now, Grade 2 is a little good on my side. It is easy for the moment. 3 more lessons to go. As for sight reading, I found the problem, at last. It was not the notes, but the tempo that gives me problem. I am prepared to fail this segment. Hope the other sections help me!

Here comes another sub-story. I've to delete one of my many things to do before I die - reunion dinner. Mom said that she didn't see the need for it, although I'd retorted by saying I saw the need of it. Well, she's my Mom. I should respect her and not impose anything anymore.

Now I've come to full realization that divorce DO really kill the children, altogether with their wishes and dreams. Although things seem perfectly normal (like in my case, that is. I am the best living example for you readers); no I should say things ARE normal. There still is a breach somewhere in between. However, I am not really hurt because, maybe I have made my resolution to live my life to the fullest, or I am more matured compared to any others in my age, for things like this? Let God answer for I have yet to know the answer myself.

I am nobody but a body with a fantastic soul.

~AdelWoo

As an advice, I really hope people who read my blog would think a lot of times before marrying your loved ones. Don't ever let your children suffer from what you did wrong in the past. They are innocent little beings. This just doesn't worth the pain in their hearts. Future husbands and wifes, please. Do think twice (or more).

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Hostel Week 3/Lecture Week 2/Tutorial Week 1

It refers to the same week, just the beginning of time is different. Meh, anyway let's start with HOSTEL. It was only 3 weeks, yes but I am rather surprised how (rather) close all of us are already. To volley what my friend said, "for now you will be with us but once you get your friends, you sure will leave us all again.", well Eric, you're very wrong here, boy. Another friend and I thought the same about what you have told us - We're not like what you think we are. Ha, ha.

In hostel, I see and learn many things. First, sociology. Second, independence. Third, knowledge sharing. Fourth, but it should be the most important; friendship in mediocrity. This, I indeed value very much where there is very much lesser complications compared to my "previous" group where everyone, well... Almost everyone? Yeah, they rather misunderstand me quite a lot. Now I am not saying I am self-righteous. I do have my faults too. We give and take, alright?

Lecture 2, things have gone a little deeper. I still can manage. Tutorial Week 1...
Today my ME tutor had ice-broken us and at the same time, my class rep too has established a tutorial group page for us all. I just found out yesterday that I was the only Seremban kid in the whole class. Me, always a special case. Ha, ha. As for group assignments however, it was only 2 days and now (Mom, listen. Your son) I am already a group leader for 2 coursework projects. I see stress is at bay now, invading my PEACE zone soon enough. Stress, the gates are readily opened for you. Come to me and I shall beat you flat.

Today, on my way home after ME tutorial class, my schedule was delayed 30 minutes (or so) due to heavy downpour. Screw it! I then took bus to Wangsa Maju and from there, LRT to Pasar Seni. As soon as I got down the train, I walked to the desired location of Pudu Raya. Upon doing so, I've asked a few people and there was one Chinese old man who had given me the wrong information which led to to somewhere else and there, I met an Indonesian man. He was such a nice person! He brought me all the way to Pudu Raya and upon reaching, he had asked me to take care of myself. I felt blessed. God heard me; on the way to the "wrong direction" before I met this Indonesian man, I passed by a church and I prayed and He answered. So then, I took a bus from Pudu Raya to Seremban. It was only about 1 hour, which is half the time if I board the train. I called my cousin sister to fetch me and I managed to go for my guitar class on time! As soon as I've finished my guitar class, I went to talk to my music school principal regarding my aural classes - my exam is coming really soon. My sight reading still sucks. SIGH! Oh, I bought new sets of strings too!! Just the right timing for my exam. 1 month for the strings to be stabilized.

I had family dinner after that and right now, here I am. Blogging. Imma sleep soon enough, though. Pretty tired with my journey.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS:
1. Guitar exam is on 21st June - I need to apply for leave from my school office next week.
2. I am having my first aural class tomorrow. Wish me luck!
3. I am skipping tomorrow's IA lecture - that explains why I am in Seremban now when most of 1DAC(C) are still there. Chill guys, it's only double entry. I'm positive.

I am going to be:

1. A guitarist
2. A science-and-economics minded accountant in work
3. A certified accountant
4. A violist
5. A contemporary dancer (just registered for this course for co-curriculum in college)
6. A deist (which I already am)
Last but not least,
7. A student who tries to get GPA and CGPA of >3.500

God, friends, family. Be with me. Thanks :)
Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Visits

On my latest visits to a few blogs I follow, I have just noticed that everything is not what it is meant to be anymore. Most of them changed. I have lost contact with all of them. You see, it wasn't the old time where I sleep at 12am and wake up groggily on 5.45am the next day and get ready, wait for bus. Go to school. Read book. Go out of the class. Read book. Come back to class. Lessons. Recess. Lessons. Go home. Revise... Well, you sure get what I mean now.

This afternoon, Aruna and I were messaging each other (which is something really odd for the both of us to do because we VERY VERY RARELY, approaching NEVER, messaged each other a lot before) and she has just realised how freaking fast time flies by. Well, it is true. I'll  be leaving for college on 30th April. Jason's leaving for college next Saturday. On the other hand, I have no clue what has happened to the rest of the gang. Sorry for my ignorance, people.

To be frank, I would not blame them for hating my ignorance because most of the time, LAST TIME... We somehow have gone out too much too often that now, it's been clichéd in my life already. I've skipped A LOT of their meetings recently - since the third week of March, that is. That is about a month ago. Now, I don't like talking to them. It is not that I hate them or whatsoever, I just find it so weird to just pop out one day and send "Hi" to them on Facebook or chats. Surely they would have something uneasy to say, when I say I miss them. An expected reply: "That's why. Dah ajak banyak kali, tak nak keluar."

"We've invited you a lot of times but you insisted of not coming with us."

Any extra-terrestrial updates from me? Well, yes.
1. I am signing up to be an official advice columnist in Tumblr (I will inform when I already HAVE a page for myself).
2. My granny and I argue more frequently. Which of course, is never a good thing. Well, I can't blame any of us. She, being far worse than self-righteous and persistent that almost everything she says boils my blood. Me, being the Opposition to whatever she has to say by bringing up proofs of her wrongs and what I do is not wrong... This somehow tends to make things worse. I often told myself, "Patience, Alex. Just a few more days."
3. I am not on talking terms with Dad due to some reasons which I do not wish to tell here. Things between us somehow... I mean the bond between us, is getting weaker and weaker. Blame me. Blame him? Whatever. Mom, if you read this, just pretend you didn't. I don't wanna tell you either, because if I do wanna tell you, I should just write it here too, shouldn't I?
4. Guitar is getting harder now. (I am currently in love with Etude No. 2 in E minor by F. Tarrega. A piece in my Yamaha book) I've mentioned this before. Now I am going to mention it again. It just gets far more complex now, than before. However, thanks to Tommy and Mr. William my sight-reading has improved.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Rossiniana No. 1

If I had courage enough to ask my guitar tutor, this is what I would say to him:

Dear Mr. William,
I know that you're a very good guitar teacher and thanks to you, I've unlocked many possibilities which once I thought as impossibilities. Yes, I do mean that Sounds of Bells. I am a mere grade 2 student and you challenged me with this grade 7 piece (as according to my friend who played this piece for his grade 7 exam), and I hope I didn't disappoint you. Right now, I just hope that you can guide me through this fantastic piece of 6 themes in Rossiniana No. 1. I'm very happy if I can even finish the first part - Introduzione in E minor. I know very well you might have to take depressants before teaching me but yeah... I hope you can teach me this piece. I promise you that I'll remember this for the rest of my life (if at all I am not going to knock my head somewhere and lose my memory). Thank you.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Decisions

Today I've made my decisions on a few things.
1. I'm done with school job. Right after e-mailing the debaters about my text for debate. I AM DONE! I'm not doing some freaking charity where I have to agree on. I want to go on with my life. I've done enough.

2. I'm counting down to go college and travel back as less as possible. I realized that Granny's really wrecking my nerves now. The saying goes, "patience is virtue" has surely helped me a lot. At most, 2 more months here. God, give me Your strength and courage to face this bittersweet present-life. My English teacher and Adeline said before, "Give whatever she wants now. So you will not regret when she's gone. Try tolerating." Indeed I am. Breathe, Alex. Breathe!


3. I'm just going to do everything whatever my heart tells me to do. I do not want to care about whatever people wanna say anymore. Like they all are any better themselves. Oh, please!

4. I'm continuing with my passion. However hard it is going to be in future, maybe that I might have to put myself into hiatus, I am going on with music. Dad, I love you. I love you for being with me for ever.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Of passion and ambition

Passion: Music
Ambition: Accountant

I wish it is going to be this easy to put the jargons. Music vs Accountancy.
I had a row with mom this afternoon about how not important music is to me and how important accountancy is compared to music. She wanted me to drop music because it was expensive. She admitted that she had killed many of her desires along the way but she forgot something.

"I am not who you are by killing your own passions, leaving you with an empty shell."

Later tonight, I had just another row with granny about the exact same thing. All she said when I told her accounting is difficult and (I might have to take up Law or Music Studies) was, "then who on earth asks you to pursue accountancy?" I volleyed, "Then what do you want me to do? Sit and rot at home? Pursue science again? Be a mathematician? Be a scientist? Everything is difficult. So what now? I sit at home, that's it, right?" and she was silenced. She accepted my point.

Aruna asked me what do I think about this jargon and my reply was offensive, "I'd battle through. I know this is not a lost cause."

If at all I do not have music in my life as my passion, I think I'd be mentally deaf and dead. I know I am being unrealistic here but I am serious. Without music, my life ends there. Even now, as I am typing each letter, I hear the sweet melody of my new piece my tutor has taught me to play.

Sounds of Bells.

Sweet high treble notes opening the curtain full of wonders. Beautiful and lively rhythm accompanied by a few portamento and acciacatura. Then, in the middle of the wonders, another swish of wonder comes by and then - this was by ear and peripheral vision and I forgot this part of the melody because the key signature has been modulated. Then, I am lost in the sweet wonders, hanging there.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.
-I am a dreamer, and a fighter.

Goodbye and Hello

The Goodbye:

25/1/2011 - Kamales' Farewell Party

His farewell cake

I was Kamales' driver for the final time. I drove him and Ramanan to Jusco and hoping that we didn't have to delay anymore time for Kamales going to Greenbox (my friends that'd arrived much earlier were preparing this surprise for him). Then again, Ramanan stalled me and whispered that we have to drag more time. God knows what the heaven they were all up to! As time passed by, I knew I can no longer drag the time, I texted Louisa: "Hey, I can't drag anymore. Can we go up now?" and her reply was positive. So then we went up and taa-daa. SURPRISE!!!!

The craze started even in the K-box!

Then after that, we sang, danced and laughed all the way until 1pm in the karaoke box. I cried. Twice. I forgot to prepare myself for this the night before. Sadly, I had to go off earlier to school for the same project. When I returned from school I saw all of them having fun at the bowling alley. "Oh, you're back," my friends said. When it was about time for all of us to depart, we did a huge cam-whore session in the middle of the mall where every single passers-by stalled and looked shockingly at us. That was embarrassing but... as my sister says: Do I look like I care?

Camwhore session

Kamales with the the homemade card

Around 4.40pm I sent Kamales back home and that was the final time I saw him in Malaysia. Gosh, writing this sentence almost reduced me to tears. Final. Last. I always hate these words, in a way. I'm shocked myself that I can cry so badly for him, who'd never really been in CLOSE friendship since standard one. I always had something against him, and otherwise too. But yesterday has proven me wrong. Although we had something against ourselves, we still love each other to the core, less the fights and quarrels.

26/1/2011 - Apple of my eyes
He's gone. The person who worked as a CitiBank promoter, and his whole lot of group are gone. All of them!! Now they've new promoters for the same thing. WHY must their employer be so cruel to pluck the apple from the tree?! He's gone. Anyway, I was lucky I managed to gaze him for about 30 minutes on Sunday when I had my 40 minutes break! I'll store that in my subconscious memory. I regret for not talking to them (specifically, him)

The Hello:

25/1/2011 - Sight reading?!
OK, sight reading for my guitar exam is going to be bad. I simply hate these impromptu stuffs!!! Grade 2 examination. Sight reading - about 2 staffs. I'm looking forward to fail this one and to excel in aural, exam pieces and all others. Sight reading simply sucks!!!

26/1/2011 - Wheeze, Cough... Sigh!
Bronchitis is back.
Sinusitis rhinitis is back, with a new friend: Pharyngitis.
Costochondritis is back too.
I have new types of medication and I am told by my doctor to throw away my previous prescription.

Looks like these buddies are here to stay, until I am turned to ashes.

Happy B'day Nerina!

Tonight, after work, we all celebrated Nerina, our staff in SeeU's belated birthday in mamak stall near my employer's house. Her best friend, also our staff bought 12 doughnuts for her as birthday present and we opened the doughtnut box in that stall. Although it was mediocre, she felt touched by our acts - so far that I can read, unless she has deceived us, which I doubt that would probably be (actually thanks to Miss Wendy who was willing to treat us in mamak stall).

***

Pardon me, people for not speaking much recently. I am just being plain flat and busy all day long, every day. Next Monday, I am going to go to Family Store to visit my old friends (that we've not talked since they've gone to Johor to continue studying. They were my colleagues when I was in form 3 working there), then going to my school at noon for some projects then finally guitar class in the evening. My off day isn't really OFF for me, at all. However, uber alles, I'm happy. I've achieved what I wanted all these while. Busy lifestyle.

I know this is insane for me, an 18-year-old kid saying it out. I think my mom's thinking: What the heck is wrong with my son?, as she reads this post. I'm just happy that I find no time to fill in my empty shell. At least I learn a lot along the way, as well as fortifying my psychoanalysis to people that I meet.

Psychology is such an interesting subject to talk of, of course I don't mean theoretically. Who cares about theories nowadays? You? Me? Well, I don't have any intentions to brag but I can say that I'm a reader. I love to read about Persona (mask, in Latin which later derived the word: personality) of different people. Most of the time, I read quite correctly. About who likes me, who stabs me, who're goody two shoes and so on.

I think that's all I can crap for the moment. I'm off to practice my guitar pieces now. Till then, TTYL.

OK!

OK! I whined too much. Pavane is not that difficult after all. It all requires practices. I really can't wait to learn my next piece: Ode to Joy. Just a short bar of Choral part. Not the opening of the movement of Symphony #9 also. I'd be a guitar god if at all I can play till the end of the movement, in GUITAR (that's about 24 minutes, I've checked in Wikipedia). I still need time to improve my skills. I'm too young for everything.

Ode to Joy, Pavane, Ballroom Blues

OH GREAT! Exam pieces are here already. Pavane is super difficult. Although it is very very short! Ironic, isn't it?

Lucky me, I am fond of Beethoven so I can play Ode to Joy pretty easily because I've heard the piece before. Ballroom Blues... Too many slurs. I hope I can do it. It is really very hard (for my standard, I mean)!

OFF!

YES! At (long) last, tomorrow is off day!!!! I am finally a waiter. Really tiring job but I truly enjoy it. Being in the FnB (that's food and beverages) line is unexpectedly fun. Although coming back home with limping movements due to terribly tired legs, I still am very happy working there.

Psst! Today I received RM3.50 tips! Of course not personal, people! We will share it at the end of the month. Two days ago I received RM1.00 tips and I never expected that I will ever get more than that in my life. I was smiling like a small kid towards the counter and chimed, "Yay! RM3.50 tips!!!" then my colleague reminded me, "No personal tips!". OF COURSE I know, Ida! Ha, ha.

Today there were two customers (I really liked them. They were really so polite that he put his hand around my shoulder when I was busy cleaning a table, and he gave his comments on our food and drink we served them. Of course I ran to him and asked what was wrong, and he explained politely to me. He wasn't fussy at all! REALLY COOL GUY and pretty hot too, but he was dining with his girlfriend. Sad. Er... This couple is pretty sweet together by the way. Ha, ha.) that were so polite although the food and drink were not up to their expectations. After he commented on the food and drink, I reported that to Wendy, she's a Hokkien too! The best part here is, all the business partners are really really cool and caring. I adore all of them so much. I really do!!, my manager, and she finally resorted to asking me and Ida to try out the tom yum soup a little. Ida said it was too strong and spicy, that she nearly choked due to the spiciness. Then it was my turn to try it. Swirling and smelling it like red wine, and I took a sip and rolled it in my mouth. If it wasn't my favourite wine tasting sessions, I would have chocked too! It was TOOOOOOO sour and spicy that the tom yum aroma is already gone! I explained to Wendy about how the this theory works and she was nodding along the way. I hope she really listened to me.


Don't worry, Wendy. Once I get my paycheck, I will bring another food expert from home (none other than my granny) and me to dine in there. I will then make comments to improve our company.


Tomorrow is my off day, which I don't really regard it as my off day. I have to practice for guitar lesson at 6.30pm. I have 4 more pieces, expect them to finish by tomorrow and I can continue with my exam pieces. THREE exam pieces. Luckily, I am only grade 2. Yeah, things will be harder next time.

I have amended two of four the pieces that I am going to play to my tutor, see how my "rubato" works. I hope it will not be too terrible. I always like music with rubato. Rubato is "playing with one's desire", if you may.

So, that's all about my update these few days, missing in action. Thank you for waiting. I hope there are more to come.

Dad has finally sent money to me! I can pay up for my guitar exam fee first. WOOHOO! Epic, baby!!! Then later when I get my paycheck, I will put the amount I've taken into my "piggy bank" again. I don't have to worry about guitar fees anymore for the time being.

OK!

I'm dead. I was whining when I did not get any job, and now I am still whining because I have THREE pending jobs. Today after searching thoroughly in Parkson and The Store with Gopinath and Aruna, we went back to the restaurant in TE and guess what? The boss said she freaking misplaced the forms and thanks for that, we went to find for crappy jobs and now we have to think on how to reject the job offers. Great, isn't it?

Parkson, Promoter RM3.50 per hour for 4 hours.
The Store, Promoter RM3.20 per hour for 4 hours too.

I hate the promoter job in The Store. That lady is being very very inconsiderate because I had to explain to her that I cannot work on Mondays because I have guitar classes on that freaking day. Anyway, she's a totally racist. She charged me RM3.20 per hour because I am a Chinese, if I wasn't... I'm going to be charged at RM3.00 per hour. I really hated her when she said that but I had to put up a smile since I was so freaking desperate for a job that moment!

Then we went to Parkson and this lady was so friendly and sweet! I have to call her up tomorrow morning and say I already have a job now and explained about the whole restaurant conflict which brought me to them at the first place. Or maybe I should just call these people tomorrow and explain the "truth".

We got a call from a restaurant which we went for much earlier than these places yesterday after going to these places. I am not going to mind whatever vulgarities I am about to hear tomorrow, I am just glad I am finally hired in the restaurant! This is just too epic to be true. My hopes are up again, to pay for my guitar fee! Although I still have to withdraw my own money some days later to pay it first, as it would be impossible for them to pay my salary by 17/1/2010!

GOD BLESS US!

Crisis

Guitar strings are becoming... old, sounds are no longer so clear.
Piggy bank holds no more penny.
New year is coming.
Allowance is not arriving yet.
Guitar exam fee deadline is coming too.



I'm broke and dead. Would I have to ask dad to pay for my guitar fee? Should I ask him? No, I don't think I should.

To whom it may concern (and a small dream)

I'm losing hope towards that restaurant now. She's really super mean for giving us high hopes by asking and explaining so many things in a go. I'm just going  to give another 24 hours for them and for myself. If it fails, I'm through with this.

It's really so mean of them for doing this to us, you know? Explaining about the salary, asking when can we start working and wait for their call. Who they think they are? It's so... devastating that today's the first time that I am putting my phone on Loud mode whole day through, afraid that the lady might call any hour, any minute or any second. I was stupid enough to believe that we're getting hired soon.

***

Last night, I'd dreamt of Jacob Black on my bed, lying down with me. No sex intended. I really had my head spinning thinking about that and now I'm sort of... I dunno what I am feeling. I'm falling for a stupid movie character? How ironic! Perhaps I was thinking about Eclipse way too much before I sleep. Today I'm pacing forward the last of the saga: Breaking Dawn!

Alex, wake up! It's just a stupid dream. Gosh!

I have to admit there are many weird things happened these few days. The breach in connection between me and Mom, due to our busy lives. The breach in connection between me and Dad because I simply have nothing to say to him. The breach in connection between me and the world because I'm too much of my own. Worst still, the breach in connection between me and my soul.

I really dunno. Am I still sane? Many things have changed. I've moved on from a lot of things, that now I don't really seem to care of anything about those I've moved on from.

I'm already gone.


Now, I'll always bear in mind that I should not be too happy when something is too close but yet still far to reach. Yes, I'm taunting myself with my quote on the right panel: Isn't what is there, is there and what is not there, is there too?

I'm succumbing to my devastation. I'm giving up. For real. I'm sorry, guys.

Work Interview #4

Yes people, I have been rejected by 2 companies and 1 restaurant. Though I admit I was a little too bold trying out companies at THIS early age of my life. Anyway, that Spanish restaurant didn't return the call back to me, which I feel really stupid after wasting my time doing some crap, debating with my mom, well I guess she's more than happy that I am not working there now. Right, Mom?

This was the conversation between Aruna, Gopinath and I this morning.
To: Gopinath
Hey man, I'm done with my crap here. So, I'll fetch you around 11am, ok?

From: Gopinath
Can we make it on 12pm? I just got up and I have to do some things. If not, I'd have done it early. Is 12pm ok?

To: Gopinath
11.30am, then. See you there!

To: Aruna
Hey, Gopi has just woke up too. We'll make it on 11.30am then. But I'll fetch you about 11am. Longer time to talk about... :)

From: Aruna
So, you'll fetch me around 11am?

When we all have reached Tesco Extra, we first tried applying to work INSIDE TE, but apparently we can't do that because we're not of age yet. They will not be responsible for any calamities in workplace and stuffs. When they said about SOCSO I knew there and then that it was impossible to debate any further.

However, we started walking in TE and we realised that it was a lot as cool as Jusco! Really nice place, TE. I've never expected THAT to come from... Never mind. And so we had some job hunt on some areas and came about a booth selling fruit which needed a girl worker and so we asked Aruna to try it out but this was what happened:

Girl: Yes, welcome. Come try on some of these. We have testers.
Gopi: No, she (pointed at Aruna) wants to find a job.
Girl: Oh so all these have just finished SPM, no?
Me: You too? So meaning to say that all of us here have just finished SPM. Cool!
Girl: If you want to find a job, try SeeU here (pointed behind her booth). It has newly opened. I think you can find a job there. The boss is a Chinese. A very nice person, I'd say.
Aruna: (Looked at me) Wanna give it a shot?
Me: Well, ok.
Gopi: Thanks! (To the girl)

Here I had dilemma to go or not to go because it was all very messy but because of the both of them, we went in and filled the form. The boss interviewed us on the spot. Impromptu volley. I was the first to go. I was explained about the salary, systems and working hours which was really really a good place to start. Here I learn new things too, albeit the far distance from home, but who cares now?

That was basically it. My fourth round of job hunting. I really hope I could get it there! Guitar exam fee, I finally can afford you. Although not confirmed we're pretty much confident we would get it. Let's just pray for the best.

Special thanks to: 
The anonymous girl who suggested us to try it out
Lionel who said, "only this and you're giving up so fast?" when I said I'm off with the job hunting crap
Gopinath and Aruna for forcing me to go in there. You guys are simply awesome!

Jobs

Why on earth is it so hard for me to get a job*?

I tried contacting La Esquina manager, no replies whatsoever. So now... I'm back to square one, of nothingness. Actually it has been this way all along. Wonderful isn't it? Later I am planning to ask for a job in tuition centres. I hope I can get it there. Time is running out for me to pay that exam fee. My principle still stands! I am not going to use anyone's money to pay for it!

*Job: I want new experiences. Working with the same company as I did 2 years ago, doesn't worth the experience. OK, I guess I am still too picky about this. I dunno.

You know what? Whatever. It's my life. GAHH!