Popo: a Chinese word that means grandmother. The mother of mother's side.
I still remember how I used to piss the whole Ipoh gang when I first visited them when I was small. I have caused so much havoc in such a short period of time. I was fighting with my sister, crying for mummy, hating all of them because nothing went as I have planned at all. So then we came home and that was last I have seen the Ipoh gang. That was a bitter memory.
Now, I am 16 years old with my Dad not around and only my Granny (this is dad's mum) in the house, Mum invited us both to Ipoh few months ago to celebrate Chinese New Year with them and we did go... Things that time have gone smooth. No shouting. No fuming... Everything was almost perfect. I did not notice until today (I will explain further, don't worry) that I have already given a part of my heart to them - the other side of my family. Oh, not to forget... Dad and Mum divorced when I was three, now that makes it clear for you all to understand why is my family so small?
Second trip this year was on 25th September where me and Granny were invited to celebrate Popo's birthday but... She couldn't really see anymore. She had cataract. A serious one I was told. That was when I sang HOME SWEET HOME and MY BABY for her. Mum kindly asked for my help to sing since my (very much useless) sister had no guts to do so. Ha, ha.
The Ipoh gang also told me that Popo is going for an eye operation somewhere 2 weeks after her 85th birthday bash. So then I prayed and did a distant reiki for her (I hope she got that) but when The day came, doctor said it was too dangerous. Her condition was unstable.
Yesterday, midnight;
1 message received
Banana (I put Mum as that in my phone for fun)
R u asleep yet?
Reply: No. Why?
1 message received
Banana
M now @ hospital, taking care of grdma. Will call ok.
Reply: Oh. Why with her?
Few minutes later...
CALLING: Banana (with my Lucky ringtone) [the ones in bold letters were my dialogs. It went something like this. I couldn't recall much]
Hello?
Hello. Huat, just to inform you about Popo's condition. She got better since she was admitted on Monday.
Oh ok...
Her speen, liver and stomach were bloated with gallstones but she is getting better since then.
Oh ok... (I was scared. I knew that it is almost time already. My grandfather had had the same symptoms too. I was scared. Very scared.)
I call you just to let you know that we can see that she is fighting to stay alive. So, I don't see the reason why you should not.
But Mum... (I started crying. I could not take it anymore that time. Too much for me) why must she leave?
Oh, come on. Huat, I didn't call to hear you cry! Come on.
And I forgot all the other conversation.
I was feeling like shit and I called the person I trusted since I met him. Win Shen. I knew he was busy doing some other things back then but he'd allocated some time bringing me back up. He spent some time making me upright. I didn't really care for my credit then because I needed help from someone I trust and he'd promise he would be there for me. And he really did.
Today, I was clearing my Google Chrome's archives and I stumbled upon a blog that I'd visited some time ago (The Abyss). The writer's my cousin studying in Singapore.
Ive got an unexpected visit from my grandma, mum, aunties and my uncle from ipoh.. We were given a very short notice about their coming so, we didnt really prepare much. They reached here around 2 am yesterday. Haha, what a bad timing, you say? Never mind la..They brought some good food from ipoh you know. lol
As usual, sin and i went donwstairs to pick up my grandma in her wheelchair and brought her up. Although its kinda predicted because of her old age, it seems that grandma has gotten weaker again. Remember i told you about her bad eyesight? Her cataract has gotten serious and we were shocked when she asked us where she was when she's already inside the house. Sad right. *sigh.
When we were discussing about grandma, uncle suddenly said, " You've got to be mentally prepared. Its anytime. " Yea, i know. Its almost time up for her, huh. Why? Why she has to leave so fast? No. She has a lot more to enjoy. Its too early for her. She...
....
It is painful to see someone you love to go just like that.
I didnt really sleep much yesterday. Its not because of the sofa. Haha, its kinda difficult to sleep when you got all watery..when you feel the uselessness in you when you cant do anything.
Haha.
"...Abdominal ultrasound : Coarsed liver parenchyma with knobbly surface compatible with cirrhosis. No focal lesion seen. Mild ascites noted. Gallbladder stones noted. Splenomegaly and splenic varices noted. Kidneys are hyperechoic but normal in size. Tiny left calyceal stone noted but no hydronephrosis seen. Impression : Liver cirrhosis ..."
Hb 82 g/L (115 - 165)
platelet 95 9 normal 150-450)
urea 29.4 mmol/L (3.5-11)
Creatinine 368 umol / L (50-120)
albumin 29g/L (35-50)
This is too much for her, God. Spare her the pain, would you?
I could not really understand those scientific terms as much as some of you do but... I just knew her condition is not alright anymore. The fucking thing I would never understand is why the fuck is everyone I love goes away?! Since I was 3 years old, my life fucks because of so many other damned things.
I wish I could understand...
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