FUCKING WORRIED

Yeah, sorry for that rude one up there but I am so very worried with my granny's condition. She's having fever, a mild one though. I did tell you about her condition since Sunday noon didn't I? Thank God that her condition didn't get any worse though. Looks like He answers my daily prayers. Thank You!

Even though she still can stand and sit, and walk and do all those healthy people can do I dunno why I am still worried about her.

This afternoon when I want to give her her medical dose at 5pm, I was really scared when I saw her unable to open her bottle cap. Something fishy might be up again, I knew it! Damn it, what the heck is wrong with her! I was holding back my tears until she finished her meal and took her medicine, I came up here and dialled Mum's office number and asked her to call me back.

"Hi mum."

"So, what's wrong?"

"I dunno mum. It's granny... She's..."

"What's with her?"

"She couldn't open her bottle cap mum!! She was... Her hands were shaking worse than ever. I have never seen her hands like that before. I am scared mum," and I have cried to mum. She took the effort of calming me down saying that it's just normal for her shaking this badly because she didn't really have enough energy to do so.

Seriously, I have never thought that I would love my family members this much. I never thought I would finally come up and go buy her meals, make my own meals, take care of her, give her medicine and all those. This is like a totally new Ooi Kim Huat that I myself know.

I am afraid that she will... I don't wanna think about it. It's really freaky when I think of being old. No way - this thing. This bloody condition. It's just too hard for me to handle. I need an escapade or at least an escape plan. This is not happening to me. DAMN IT why must I suffer like this?!

God, please don't take her away. I need someone with me. Please?