Sway with me

Today, I have had a number of feelings in me. First I was being happy that I am 6th in the class, then a little sad that I am 13th in cohort. 6 and 13... That's a huge deviation, you see. And then finally I felt depressed because I had 3 B+ for Add Math, Bio and History. I would say it's a post-examination depression.

I was feeling so down that I told my beloved friends about this and they lift me up again, as usual. That was quite a long process though. We were at least half hour late for English (lucky it was a replacement lesson. So it wasn't that important, after all. Did a little discussion and off we went after that). It all happened during recess when I told Francine and she told Louisa that I was scared that I might not be chosen for the scholarship mentioned yesterday.

I felt so heartbroken thinking about what Granny told me when I finally got back my History and Bio papers. Flood of disappointment overwhelmed me.

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"Granny I scored 70% for History. A B+."
"Who so weak?"
"Well, that's because I hate the subject."
"Great! Next time in SPM, don't come crying to me if you don't get an A for it!"

"Granny I scored 73% for Bio. A B+."

"WHAT?!! You've been typing your notes and staying up late for that, you can't even get an A?!"

"Granny, it was hard."
"What's so hard. You've studied!"

"Granny, what I studied was how movement of the arms come about and the question asked how the movement of the legs come about. It was hard, Granny. But my experiment I told you, the one I didn't have a clue for at all? I scored 14/17 for that section!"

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Louisa: Our parents always say that Ooi is so smart without tuition. You're considered a role model already.

Adeline: I can so see that you and Francine are already on your way to straight A's! You just need a little more effort to push yourself to transform the B+ into A.

Francine and Adeline: I understand how you feel when your Grandmother says that. But just study for yourself. You study hard for your own future. You only repay them next time when you work. (They advised when I told them that I study for my grandmother.)

Aruna: You just have to be happy and satisfied with what you get, Ooi. Don't care about what others think about it. They don't have any idea how were the papers.

Adeline: Just do it for her, Ooi. So that when she dies one day. You will not regret and say, "Shit I should have done this, I should have done that," because by then, everything will be too late already. You have to be tough. If such small things can reduce you like this, I can't imagine how would you handle things at work or in your own family. You just gotta be tough.

When we got back to class, teacher was talking about a handout which she gave us last week. A comprehension handout.

Madam Poga:

... Jan and I talked about Vicky for a long time that night in hospital. 'You know, Mum,' she said, 'I won't let anything stop me from doing the things I want to do in life. I knew that she was going to make it. And so she has. Many times I have wondered if Vicky's coming was meant to be, to show us about dealing with life's hardships and joys...

(That moment, Adeline turned behind and smiled at me, I smiled back at her.)

Even though this was the old format, I find this story inspiring to share with all of you. Especially after your mid-term examination where some students might feel disappointed over their results but if you try hard enough, nothing can ever stop you.

(This time, Aruna turned back and smiled at me.)

When everything was over, I told Louisa, "Lou, everything just happened in such coincidence, don't you think?" Then, our gang (Adeline, Francine, Aruna, Ben, Louisa and I) went to see our Bio teacher to do our corrections and guess what? I now have 75% for Bio. An A-.

I went home with Francine after that, as usual... I slept for a while and woke up for Accounts class. After our class has ended, Charlene, Hizairi and I were feeling blessed that we still could do well for this term without tuition. It was Charlene who started, "Hey! All of us are top 10 in class!!!!! I hope 3 of us can get straight A's and we can prove to them we still can do fine without tuition!" I continued, "which means, we are top 30 in cohort," I am ranked 13th, Hizairi 23rd if I am not mistaken and Charlene 27th.

Thinking about it... There is no need for me to feel depressed about. It is all that I have done and can be done, on my own accord, as Mum always stresses on me. Adeline was right. Our school standard is sky high. Thanks, guys. I love all of you!