A part of my list of what-should-not-be-screwed

I should NOT do the following:

...

Break promise(s) [SCREWED]

Hurt people [SCREWED]

Disappoint friends [SCREWED]

Pissed them off [SCREWED]

Forget medication [SCREWED]

Mentally paranoid [SCREWED]

...

There are too many things that I've screwed up in these few months, between me and my friends, and between me and myself. Though my friends forgive me at the end of the day (and I thank them really sincerely that no words could express my gratitude), I feel that I'm succumbing BACK into who I was previously: The pretty much screwed up kid, fighting for lost causes, being too loud and empty like... "an empty vial", self-righteous and flamboyant _ _ _ (I let you fill in all other adjectives).

My mind isn't really thinking straight lately. I've become too much of a paranoid, misreading almost everything that's set as what I should perceive it as. I always contradict myself too: Should I, shouldn't I? All these things are recurring and it is out of control.

OK. I am going to see my school counselor again in Monday, regardless of anything. PERIOD! I am going to meet him first thing when I step into the school compound, then I meet up Miss Z, the lady I miss so much after graduation night! Right after these two occasions, I will continue doing my school project. Secrecy much, eh?

***

Today Mom and Sis visited me. I was happy, of course. (However, I could see that Mom somehow knows I am different. Don't lie, Mom. I saw your eyes.) Then we had our breakfast in Kensington (I drove, Mom treated). I've ordered Irish Whiskey Coffee and Beef Steak. It was really nice, I'd say. Sadly, my nose was blocked and I still couldn't really taste the food like before. We got back home around 12.30pm and I was about to get ready for work and finally... I felt my body was begging for me to rest. I was doing my mental debate between myself and I and finally I called my employer and said I couldn't go to work today. At 2.30pm, Mom brought me to my doctor and he said I am having pharyngitis. Doctor said:
"[...]I see everything is OK. Your body temperature is fine[...] It's just your sinus giving you problems. Your sinus tissues are much inflamed now but I will ask my nurse to give you some drops to shrink the tissues[...] If at all you have any hearing problems[...] You will know when you notice some differences in your hearing[...] So please see me again and I will have to treat you more aggressively because at that state your sinusitis is getting more serious[...]" Then I made myself a mental note: remember to take my medicine regularly!

So folks, this is the series of "The Screwed Up Life of Blogger of 'A Vial; Kyrie Eleison'" Please do not forget to tune in to www.emptyemptyme93.blogspot.com next time (I dunno when will I update my blog after this) for more entertainment. Good bye.