I swear not to forget what happened last night!

Dear hostel friends who were with me yesterday,
I honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart. I silently thanked God when we've returned to our hostel later that night for giving me such beautiful friends here. Now, I simply understand what TRUE friends really mean. We don't have to share secrets or do crazy things together to proof that statement but just by being there for me just when I was unwell, was more than enough. You all stayed on, although I have asked you to leave earlier. This is simply... beyond words. I was touched. THANKS!

Readers, this was what happened yesterday...

I woke up late morning, around 11am lazing around my house. I told myself, a few more hours and I'll be off to hostel again. I bade Granny, brushed my teeth and set for breakfast and I went up to my room again to check my mails and have a few bouts in Facebook. I chattered all the way to 2pm which later Granny cooked lunch for me and I ate it, but it wasn't enough. It was too less! Granny said, "It's OK. Just make sure that you eat once you're in KL," and I didn't wanna tire her by cooking more for me too. And so I resumed my Facebook all the way till 3pm. I took my bath and got ready for a take-off.

I then reached KL with a growling stomach, at 7pm that I didn't quite bother to tame just yet. Then all of us headed to Wangsa Maju for dinner. Things got worse from this point of time. I started becoming dizzy and whatever I ate gushed out after a few minutes. I went white, really white. I took more than 4 bouts in the toilet just to vomit. I really felt uncomfortable and I didn't quite like the fact that my friends were still waiting for me. I told one of them through SMS, "If you wanna leave, go ahead. Don't wait for me," and they did went off when I came out of the toilet...

I then walked to the bus station and I heard one of my friends running after me, "ALEX!!! Where are you going? You don't have to worry. We won't leave you behind there like that, OK?" So, I went to clinic with all of them there waiting for me. Guess what? The doctor checked my blood pressure and it was only 90/60. HELL that was scary. What happened next was she gave me a file of medicine (10 tablets) for RM20. It was indeed expensive for me! Once I got back from dinner, I puked again before reaching hostel, thus giving a look that I was drunk. HAHA!!!

As I got back here, I felt a lot better. I felt even better after taking my medicine and had a piece of bread and a can of 100+ (as advised by doctor). Then as I realize I could walk, I resumed on washing my clothes and continued talking with my friends all the way till 1am. I was too tired that I could not fall asleep but I slept thenceforth, until I was late for today's dance class.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

I was lost

Today, I took a bus from hostel to Kota Raya which later I lost my way to Pudu Raya. Many thanks to the uncles and aunties, and of course policemen who has helped me to find my way. This time, although I did regret, I still enjoyed my "lost" moment. I played my very first street chess game with an uncle, that we agreed the wage of 50 cents. I lost but he refused to accept my wage as I was about to take my wallet out. I have learnt a lot from this game.

I have been attacking recklessly lately in my life that I forgot to STOP and look around for the nature to respond. Now, I don't expect trees to talk back to me or air whispers to me. Nature simply means my surroundings - my friends' reactions to my actions, people's impressions towards me.

That uncle was a good defender. He was calm with all my reckless attacks and his moves has taught me a few things too:
1. Slow down, breathe.
2. Look and think before and after you move.
3. Think of why your opponent (in reality, friends) chooses his move and how to turn the table to your side.
4. It's just a game. Relax.

I tend to get too serious in the things I do. In everything I do, actually. Is this the sign of my commitment or the sign that I am a perfectionist?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: By playing a game of chess with me, I am able to do my psychoanalysis for both me and you. Do drop by if you tend to be psychoanalysed. That is, if you have the time to spend with me.

I am still alive

I am not dead yet, no worries. Neither am I sick, I am fit. Thank God for that. The stress is building up and I could not find much time to blog about many interesting things that has happened lately, besides tests. Sigh... There is no doubt, I am comparatively busy than status quo (who lay back, relax and study) but I am not complaining. In fact, I am very happy that I fill my time up neatly, besides giving myself ample time to rest too.

So this week, we had our English grammar test and Quantitative Studies (was known as Business Mathematics and Statistics before I came into the college) and I would not say these are easy. I would just say they are... doable. Yeah, doable. Not hard, not easy. If I say easy, I would let people think that I am going to score a perfect score but when I am not, I'll drown in my own pride. This was what my friend here has told me before: If you brag too much, you'll drown in your own pride.

Besides that, my English Coursework 3 is on Tuesday. A role-play. We chose the topic on "Marriage vs Being Single" and I will be a wife who quarrels with my husband every single day until my son is fully distracted from his studies, and being abused by his father. Later in this play shows the divorce of my husband and I which leads to my son's greater depression. That is the shortest summary I could give because I have not put my idea into words just yet.

Actually now I am at home, doing my QS homework, then I'll take my sleep - wake up fresh to do Microeconomics revision before homework (not necessary to be in the morning though)... Then if God allows, Granny and I shall visit my cousin and her kids of course at night after dinner. That's the end of Saturday night. On Sunday I expect myself to laze around before heading back to hostel at noon and wash my clothes, sweep and do other necessary things whenever I feel like doing. Ha, ha.

On Monday, I would have to teach my dance mates (now we're in group of 8; 4 couples that is) about my choreographed Rock and Roll dance for our coming competition in August. Right after that, I would need to discuss my role-play with my group mates (albeit I am not the leader this time, for both dance and role-play). As it ends, I expect my dance mates to come to my hostel and start practicing our steps out of sight (because I don't wish anyone to copy my steps and dance in the competition day). 10 odd minutes of break after the end of dance would be my orchestra practice. I can't wait for the new piece to come! Dinner after that, of course with my hostel gang... Come back from dinner, rest for a few minutes with light chattering with these people and start revising (or do whatever I feel like doing). Oh, that's my Monday. I don't have formal classes on Monday, so it'd be very boring for me if I have nothing to do, right?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

NOW I KNOW!

I have two articles' excerpts worthwhile reading, that is if you are as keen about religions and how it connects us to God, and to further understand better about religions. Hope that you'd enjoy it.

Vinegar tasters

[...]The three men are dipping their fingers in a vat of vinegar and tasting it; one man reacts with a sour expression, one reacts with a bitter expression, and one reacts with a sweet expression. The three men are Confucius, Buddha, and Laozi, respectively. Each man's expression represents the predominant attitude of his religion: Confucianism saw life as sour, in need of rules to correct the degeneration of people; Buddhism saw life as bitter, dominated by pain and suffering; and Taoism saw life as fundamentally good in its natural state. Another interpretation of the painting is that, since the three men are gathered around one vat of vinegar,"the three teachings are one". [...]


(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vinegar_Tasters)


And here's another one:
The Christian Attitude towards Non-Christians1.Religious pluralism viewpoint: [...]Often the analogy is used of people taking different paths up the same mountain, but all arriving at the same summit. [...]

2. Christian inclusivism viewpoint: [...] In their opinion, though people of another religious conviction may be ignorant of Christ. [...] The analogy is sometimes used of a person who receives a gift, but is unaware of who the ultimate giver of the gift may be. [...]

3. Christian exclusivism viewpoint: This is the viewpoint traditionally held by the majority of those who accept the Bible as their authority in spiritual matters. [...]
(http://wri.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/non-xrel.html)


Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

What I did these few days?

Ironic enough, I didn't study although I am having my test next week (Wednesday and Friday).

On Friday, I came home early, around 5pm and went for my aural class on 7.30pm and later ended on 8pm. I then waited for half an hour for my individual guitar lesson to begin which lasted until 9.30pm. Dinner with Granny until 11pm and from thence, I was free. I read a few chapters from Il Principe (The Prince), a medieval political philosophy by Nicollo Macchiaveli, and slept.

On Saturday, I woke up at 11 or so, in the morning and had my kick of coffee and drove to pay for my broadband internet service in Jusco and played a game of pool, alone. Then, I wandered alone to Popular and MPH to find for Romeo and Juliet (a book which I have been hunting for months!) but to no avail. I ended up reading a few articles on a book in Popular, regarding "Hak Ketuanan Melayu" written by a Chinese Muslim man, I forgot his name, though.

After a while, I drove back home and fetched Granny to visit my cousin sister. Talked to them for quite a duration, and then, I took a nap there, while Granny continued chatting with her until I heard baby Anna's loud cry - she accidentally slipped herself and hit her mouth on the floor. Poor girl... But the good part about it was that she was able to vomit out a lot of phlegm that we were shocked to see she has been containing (she was sick earlier)!

After Anna had stopped crying, we both made a move and stopped somewhere in Rasah. I spent RM45 for 3 durians. 2 kampong ones and 1 udang merah. DAMN, I should've bought 2 udang merahs instead. But... it's over, so what now? Live with it. Then I went to Family Store to buy some things to bring back to my hostel, and to bake cake. I was successful in inventing the recipe Orange Chocolate Cake! Granny praised me for it! AWESOME!!! This was inspired with the Chocolate Orange drink which I've bought in Pasar Malam past few weeks. We called it a day after that. It was 9.14pm.

I then spent my time here checking out stuffs and read the final chapters of The Prince and here I am, blogging about my completion. I'm so glad I have finally finished reading this wonderous philosophy!

I'll be going back on Sunday (which is today). Probably around noon, with a friend of mine. Wait for my updates then, alright?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Apple Tree (Which made me and 2 other friends cried in lecture hall during ME break time)

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow... He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by... the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy. "I am no longer a kid, I don't play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money...but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad. One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?" "Sorry, but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time. Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy. But I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you..." the tree said. "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" "I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything ... the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied. "Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, Come sit down with me and rest." The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears....... This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy.  ***** I agree with this. It brought tears to my eyes every time I think of the moments in the lecture hall. was really a touching story, better than the eraser and pencil, obviously. Yes, I did think the boy as cruel but... I am cruel for acting likewise too, in life. They still are there to forgive me every time I've turned my head away from them and they still love me, although there were some points that my love for them faded a lot, as they were busy to find time to spend with me. To Dad and Mom, I'm sorry that I'm a bitch at times, because I just couldn't hold it anymore and I just had to let my feelings pour out. I'm also sorry that I might sound superficial or sometimes uncaring because of what you've done to me. I do not blame you, nor anyone else. It's just fate and we all can't run from it. As my cousin used to tell me, "Just go with the flow." No point regretting for what you have not done in the past. Nothing could reverse the clock. Carpe Diem.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

My Reformed Perspective

At final last, my majoring issue is solved! Many thanks to my Introduction to Accounting lecturer, and of course my other wonderful Economics lecturer. Both of them have made my resolutions about my majoring very clear. So here it is now:
1. I am gonna stick to my Accounting Major in this college. Hey, look! Accounting Major leads to becoming a financial analyst/strategist too (that is if I were to take CIMA).
1.5 Now, I will let my Diploma second year to decide whether CIMA or ACCA suits me most. After all, my IA lecturer told me, these 2 qualifications are equal in the corporate world!
2. I am not gonna pursue any forms of major in Economics in future (but perhaps Psychology, just for fun).
3. As per advised by my IA lecturer (paraphrased), "First three working years are very critical. Try to get into the MNC's for working experiences."

I'm positive about it! Carpe diem :)

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Dance and other dilemmas

Dance. It is getting stressful now, seeing that a couple is better than the both of us. So we decided to continue dancing a little while longer after lesson which was 9am to 11am, and we dragged on to 12pm. Then we both headed for lunch and talked all the way until 12.50pm, as she had to go for her lecture at 1pm. We promised to meet up again in the hostel after she finished her lecture at 3pm and thence, we danced till my body ached. I believe she is rather in pain now too.

We danced rock and roll and cha cha all the way till 5pm and I had to rush for my orchestra practice. New things are hard to handle but I am getting a grip of the technical side in music theory, so it shouldn't be a BIG problem to me, as a newbie. Since the conductor is away for some reasons, I somehow wishes to volunteer but... Who am I? I didn't even dare to ask! Well yes, I know my conducting skills would be very "flaysome" at some points because I conduct with spirit, not theories. Screw that.

7pm, with my instrument, I went dinner with my hostel gang nearby. I ate too much and too salty that I ended up drinking too much of sweet drinks - 6 glasses of drinks all together for the whole day yesterday and I binged myself with tonnes of water and I couldn't and didn't feel like taking a lag. I was really worried and tired last night so I succumbed into my sleep at 12.15am, after teaching my friend Quantitative Studies.

That was all for the day.

The other dilemmas: Replacement classes. I have to replace 3 classes because...
16/6/2011 ALL TARC MERIT SCHOLARSHIP HOLDERS are required to be there as witnesses in a loan giving ceremony. Now, you see... Nothing is free in the world. However, I'd rather attend this (and forgo my lessons on that day, and then replace them) than to attend my lessons, and I might be faced with consequences that my scholarship might be withdrawn. No, I don't want that. No, no, no.

21/6/2011 I have my exam. ABRSM Grade 2 Music Practical Examination. Scales and pieces are all in my head but I am afraid of: sight reading, singing. Otherwise, things would be fine. I hope they would be fine. PLEASE BE FINE! I would freeze my guitar for the moment and pursue musical theory first. Later, I shall continue my guitar lessons. Let's see how things fly :)

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Rock and Roll

Yes, today's dance was extremely stressful. We have 2 more weeks for our test! I AM FREAKING SCARED FOR THAT!!!!! My partner is still weak, when she is weak, I am weak too. However, I am not implying I am good myself. I do have my flaws too. I need her. I cannot do it without her. No matter how good other people are. I don't care. She's mine and would be mine until the end of the last beat in the hall for our test!

To my dancing partner,
Be strong. We practice more and everything would be fine. Trust me.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Microeconomics Presentation

I was freaking nervous, as usual. I always am nervous when I know I am about to have my presentation or any forms of public speaking. I was shaking and I was cold. As the time passed by, I eventually got warmer and I felt a little lifelier. And there I went, my presentation. Many thanks to my friends who were willing to listen to my mock-up presentation, I have improved a lot because of their comments. Especially those comments from my team mates today, prior to my presentation. ALEX, TOO FAST! TOO COMPLICATED! SLOW DOWN.

Those comments have helped me a lot, in order to make my audience understand. They said I was good, but to me, I still did have flaws. A little. However, I was rather satisfied with my own outcome. Once again, thanks a lot, guys. You've made it better. It was so funny that my presentation style was actually the same with my tutor. COINCIDENCE. I never contacted her or anything, all I did was to think how to make it fathomable by the audience and WHAM! The steps in answering the questions were rather similar. Ha, ha.

After the class has been dismissed, when everyone else went out of the class, I was the last, because I wanted to talk to my team mate who is going to present next week; and as she has left and my tutor was still there. I asked, "Miss, is there any comments for improvement for my presentation?" She faltered and said, "No. You're perfect." So, once again, friends, seriously. Without you, I'd not get such compliment from the tutor. THANKS!

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

HECTIC!!

Really! I wonder why the hell am I so hectic today. From morning all the way till now. I woke up extra early to attend a class at 12.30pm, as I thought the class started at 11.30am. DAMN. It was all because I saw the wrong time table last night. SCREW IT, DUDE. My friend said it was due to my own stupidity, when I told him. Well... Served me right! PFFT~

Now let me just tell you how I killed time this morning. 11.30am, my friends told me that the class was 12.30pm and I went to library to do some researches on Probability. I never liked tree diagram. EVER. ALWAYS HATING THAT PART.

12.20pm, went back to my respective class and saw all my friends there. Ahh - sense of homeliness. Basically, today's lesson was a total waste of time because I have finished my group's assignment. Today, he was merely giving us the points to write on. So, it was a waste of time but I managed to make full use of it by asking my friends about that stupid tree diagram. Now, I am crystal clear about it. Or so I hope I am.

So now I have about half more hour before I start my English tutorial and I am in the library, accessing internet to kill time. Today will be more to journal writing and phonetics. Shit. I hate that latter topic. It is so damn boring that I nearly lost consciousness everytime my tutor talks about it!

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.