I HAD ENOUGH

SERIOUSLY, I HAD ENOUGH WITH EVERYTHING. I AM THROUGH WITH EVERY SINGLE MISERABLE DEED OF MY BLOODY STUPID LIFE! I JUST HOPE I CAN DIE OR VANISH FROM THIS GODDAMN EARTH BECAUSE I AM SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY ON EARTH MUST I GO THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT WHILE OTHER TEENAGERS ARE HAPPILY ENJOYING THEIRS? MISTAKES? I'M DONE WITH MISTAKES.

BY THE WAY, THE SHITS I AM REFERRING TO IS ABOUT MY CRAPPY LIFE - WITHOUT MY MUM, WITHOUT MY DAD, WITHOUT MY GRANDDAD. ALL OF THEM ARE GONE AND I AM LONELY. SAVES FOR THE FACT I AM LIVING HAPPILY WITH AN OLD LADY - MY GRANNY. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER. I AM SCARED.

GOSH - I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I AM CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS. IT'S THE SECOND TIME I WEEPED SINCE YESTERDAY. IT'S MY DAD. HE WENT BACK TO LONDON; I AM TO BE BLAMED.

FOR SOME EXTENDED REASONS, I JUST HOPE THAT I DO NOT NEED TO STUDY AND JUST WORK A NORMAL JOB. MY DREAMS KILL PEOPLE ONE TIME TOO MANY. I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THIS. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BURY MY DAMN DREAM ABOUT BEING AN ACCOUNTANT (AND BURY THE HOPE TO STUDY ACCOUNTANCY UNTIL PhD).

I sigh - I surrender. I'm defeated by your fate Lord.

Sick

I'm declared sick - with flu, sore throat and cough. I just went to see my doctor this evening - around 3.30pm and thank God that I need not to quarantine myself!

I am so far H1N1 negative. (Rosanna! - though I ain't a Christian, sorry)

Before this, in school...

We were visited by judges from all over Malaysia, around 15 of them. There was a competition which we were chosen to go to the National level - Pertandingan Sudut Pendidikan Pencegahan Dadah. Though I did nothing much because I'd dilemma with my Physics experiment's team, but I still helped a little. As my president advised me, 'you better manage your time properly.' And I did.

The judges were really nice (on my side of story, at least) to me and Tinesh when we were presenting our scrap books. They were asking questions that were simple enough for me to crap it out. Thank God! Or less, I will be blamed for any mishap!

The whole process was really tiring when we all did our final preparation since last night (some of them slept in school) and when I reached school this morning, I helped them clean up the mess by sweeping and mopping the floor.

i hope we can win...

Oops!

I forgot to post this one yesterday because I was really busy finishing lots of Accounts questions and Mathematics - CIRCLES. Gosh, they really make my head spin when they've so many tangents and angles in a diagram. Really! But... I finished them today. I'll complete my notes regarding ELECTROCHEMISTRY tomorrow - lazy. Blah!

So, the reason of me posting this entry is...

My BM oral group's the best (so far) according to my BM teacher, Mrs. Tan Peik Lee. Woohoo! Yu-Xuan and I got 36/40 while Ben and Amir got 33/40! Pretty cool... We're thanking each other when it ended. Phew! Finally, it ended...

For the intro, Yu-Xuan was a little tired (after his duty of spot-checking the 1st formers) and it was actually a little screwed; especially when everyone looked at me with their one-of-a-kind looks of confusion.

It started with me saying,

Ahli pujangga, James Baskett pernah berkata

(followed by Yu-Xuan: anda tidak boleh lari...

Amir: daripada masalah kerana...

Ben: tiada tempat yang sejauh itu)

then the aura intensified.

But Yu-Xuan was a little blur for a moment, so our teacher gave us a minute break for Yu-Xuan to recollect his thoughts and, it started well and ended well too! Except for the part of me accidentally addressed my teacher as saudara instead of saudari when she asked us questions. Anyway... I'm glad!

Thanks, Amir, Ben and Xuan for everything you'd done!

Fought

with my granny again. Damn, I really should try to content myself!

She was telling me that I shouldn't be overreacting for this damn scratches on my hands. So I answered, 'why don't you try and rub yourself on the road?'

She: Compared to mine last time where I burnt my whole arm! Yours is nothing.

And there goes her BLA-BLAING mode is on... (and I came up here quietly so that I will not quarrel with her more)

I just didn't like it when she says that 'no one respects me but when they do, they are up to something'. It really bothers me! Also, she always will say about how much she'd done for me, how much she'd helped me and bla... bla... bla... I am speechless every time she says these words - it hurts OK!

What the hell? Why do old people love to bring this effing issue up? Come on - they need to respect us too just for us to respect them! I have my patience too. I do not know why on earth she loves to tell these lines. It's seriously cliched - long ago! Dead and meaningless!

I fell down

DAMN! And now I've both my hands - left wrist and right palm injured quite badly. Yeah, the epithelial tissue is all off revealing the pink fresh flesh. It prickles and it hurts - no doubt about it! What the hell?

It all started when Mr Rusli wanted the assembly to start 10 minutes earlier: 7.10am instead of 7.20am and I dunno why either...

It has become my responsibility for these students (who are late) to sit under my unit's supervision (sorry for the bombasticity) and what else?

These goddamn sheep ran as if fucking thunderbolts were gonna fucking fry the bloody bodies up away from my damn unit! I ran to catch 'em and I MYSELF FUCKING FELL! What the hell?!

While I was running to catch these sheep (OK, enough of bad words) I didn't know why my legs were dragging me down to the ground as if a ghost is pushing me down or something. But I couldn't stop running and...

DAMN! I fell down and continued with the inertia of my moving body. I slided a little hurting my hands, right elbow, left knee and MY NEW BOOK!!! I just bought it days ago and now the cover is ruined!

That wasn't humiliating but more to the pain in the neck!!!

When everything was under control (I wasn't sure of these people who came down late after that), I told Chin Chin and she brought me to clean my wounds. Seriously, I was in state of shock - I had the symptoms already. Cold hands, big sweat drops and confusion.

Confusion - I was totally in confused state while I was talking to Shakilan and Chin Chin about this thing. I didn't know what in the name of luxurious hill I told them. It just came out of my mouth without me realizing it. I was seriously CONFUSED! (I hope none of you get confused when reading this post...)

From left: my injured left wrist, my right palm and my elbow. The plasma was flowing out to prevent any bacteria and germs.

PS: Sorry for talking about Biology and Physics. I had no other terms I could use to relate this with!