WHY ON EARTH MUST I GO THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT WHILE OTHER TEENAGERS ARE HAPPILY ENJOYING THEIRS? MISTAKES? I'M DONE WITH MISTAKES.
BY THE WAY, THE SHITS I AM REFERRING TO IS ABOUT MY CRAPPY LIFE - WITHOUT MY MUM, WITHOUT MY DAD, WITHOUT MY GRANDDAD. ALL OF THEM ARE GONE AND I AM LONELY. SAVES FOR THE FACT I AM LIVING HAPPILY WITH AN OLD LADY - MY GRANNY. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER. I AM SCARED.
GOSH - I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I AM CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS. IT'S THE SECOND TIME I WEEPED SINCE YESTERDAY. IT'S MY DAD. HE WENT BACK TO LONDON; I AM TO BE BLAMED.
FOR SOME EXTENDED REASONS, I JUST HOPE THAT I DO NOT NEED TO STUDY AND JUST WORK A NORMAL JOB. MY DREAMS KILL PEOPLE ONE TIME TOO MANY. I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THIS. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BURY MY DAMN DREAM ABOUT BEING AN ACCOUNTANT (AND BURY THE HOPE TO STUDY ACCOUNTANCY UNTIL PhD).
I sigh - I surrender. I'm defeated by your fate Lord.
1 comment:
ooooooooooooii, life's difficult. it has never been easy. you're not the only teenager facing problems. don't ever give up ooikimhuat. keep your amibitions alive and achieve them so you can prove yourself to your parents. you dont have to be perfect every single time. we all have our flaws and thats what makes us human. you think im happy all the time? you cant expect to sail through life without any problems. mistakes? learn from them. ive made plenty of mistakes. ive been a troubled child last time and my mistakes made me who i am today. so you'll be aight. you just have to stop looking down on yourself because you're much more worth it. i bet with you, your parents love you to bits. maybe they just don't know how to show it. and don't you dare deny this ooikimhuat. btw, ooikimhuat, you are NOT lonely. you've got friends by your side. it's only the matter of you finding your true friend and just telling them all of your problems. it's better out than in. seeing you type that makes me feel really really sad. i feel like ive failed you as a friend. you've got your sister. you've got your granny. love them. don't ever let them go. you can talk to them as well. im not a pious catholic but ill tell you this, god has chosen this path for you and god always thinks the best for his people. he lays out obstacls in our life but in the end, you'll realise that it's all for your own good. ive always been the one telling people to smile until you told me to smile. so i guess its my turn, ooi. no matter what, you have to keep on smiling. (; you can cry but you must smile while you do it. and say c'est la vie.
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