A post I wrote for The Chronicles of a Broken Heart

To start off with, The Chronicles of a Broken Heart is a non-profitable tumblr page which comprises many keen teenagers and young adults to help other teens and young adults in distress. I am only of the many wonderful, selfless and lovely staff in there. Well, I have not seen my CEO because she lives in the States and I in Malaysia. How we connect is by emails and that's all. OK, wait! I think that page is already licensed by Tiary, my CEO. Yay!! So this was the post I write in for Depression (Awareness) Week. I just think it is good to share it here as well...

When I first saw Tiary posting about Depression Week, the first thing that came up to me was... Are we going to have bad day all Sunday, as it is a proxy for "depression" yesterday. Anyway as I read today, she changed it into "Depression Awareness" and now I understand what she's trying to portray to the world.

Depressions can come into our mind consciously or subconsciously, mentally speaking. Stress could be good, but depression is never EVER good. I have undergone a few bouts of depressions over the past 3 years (that was when I was in Secondary 4 and 5) because of family issues; and because of that, my studies were a little (trust me, it was very little, I am not trying to impose sarcasm) affected but I still managed to cope up with my studies then.

Finally I realised what actually went wrong in me. It was not studies that I had problems with. It was me. It was me who was my only enemy that time. I started becoming stressed up over small calculation issues like integers, breaking down when I read about History or Biology (I hate those 2 subjects back then) and I became ultra-selfish which what my nation peoples call as "kiasu" - derived from Hokkien dialect, a portamanteau of kia (scared) and su (lose). It was also due to my family members who were not so appreciative of what I get for my exams.

People who are close to me know that I was very kiasu that time... For whatever freaking competitions I go, I'd cry when I didn't get any placing. For any types of tests or exams that I did, I got threatened by my best friends who were "smarter" than me. COME ON! They were my best friends and I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me that I somehow hoped they fail in something they do back then!

However, God touched me. I was truly grateful of that moment that my counselor came and talked to me about my changes. He noticed that I have changed a lot and by God's grace, he changed me into who I am today - a person who is full with joy, enthusiasm and always standing ready for people who need advice or to be listened.

Over the years, I still practice what my counselor told me:
1. Change your I MUST into I TRY MY BEST
2. Remember that one summit is always higher than another, no point comparing!

Now I am living in hostel as I am currently doing my Diploma in Accounting and I do get a bunch of God's gift - very down-to-earth, always stand ready to help and supportive seniors and of course some juniors too. In here, I have noticed quite a lot of things which I try my best to listen and help them too, they are all final year diploma students, if they fail, they can't graduate and they have to leave hostel - that is something they don't quite want happening, of course! So what I do is to listen and convince them that there is still time left, and they have to plan something out. However, besides these seniors there, too is another guy who is studying in the same course with me, whom I have "unlocked" by means of knowing him personally and now I am helping him out with his studies. What I believe is something you might not at all believe: Make miracle!

Conclusion is simple... Plan your days ahead, prepare early in whatever you do, believe in God and also EKAM EVEILEB - I learnt this from If You Could See Me Now, by Cecilia Ahern.

As for parents who might be reading this, show that you appreciate whatever your children do. Although they know you love them, they still want a type of reassurance that you are proud of what they do. It could simply be, "You've done a good job" or even go to the extend of giving them a family vacation. This would stregthen your bonds with your children. Also, do not share to anyone else in the family what your children share with you.

Remember:
1. JUST DO IT
2. Carpe diem
3. Eat, Love, Pray

Yours truly,
Alex.

For more inspirational stories and advises please do come and visit our page. Take care!

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.