And made it hell more realistic.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Giving Excuses
I really wanted to write about this on Monday but I couldn't find time. I was utterly busy with orchestra, as our performance is next week, you see? Anyway, let's get back to the point. Excuses.
I really really hate people giving excuses. Why can't they say "No, I don't feel like it," or "No, I'm lazy," to end it? Why must people always give insensible excuses like, "My parents are coming back home today," and all other stupid excuses. Well, I've been in a situation like this before. I was accused by my so-called true friends earlier this year just because I wanted to save money for college, just because I didn't attend most of their outings, just because I wanted to stay at home, just because I always go out with them earlier, they couldn't accept the fact then, that I was really having some financial difficulties and I became a hot topic for a moment. Anyhow, I decided to walk out of the fake group of friends. It was really a sad thing, where you were so close once, and then they start talking about you just because you don't join them. Screw them - sunk cost.
I did talk about this to my room mate on Monday night and yes, he was the person who inspired me to write this article. To him, he said he will blast the person who gives stupid excuses with full sarcasm in front of him. But to me, I blast people off with cold and stern words. Yes, I know I'm always radical. You cannot blame me for acting this way. It's considered very good for me not to simply rant at people for the small mistakes they do, don't you think so?
I've been through many circumstances and I've also been through a lot of people who gave me stupid excuses to slip through. I do admit I also give stupid excuses but I make it practical. I give very less excuses. If I could, I could. If I really couldn't, or I feel reluctant, I don't give stupid excuses, I give real excuses, "I'm sorry. I have a lot of things to do." Sadly, my application/principle of "Do unto others, what you want others do unto you" is not so practical. Perhaps, I need more time to nurture that habit of stop giving excuses.
Sigh, sometimes, I really think that I am very naive in this planet, with everyone else being so "double-faced", so "secretive", so proud of themselves, I am the one who is so openly accepting to these kind of threats, it makes me pretty vulnerable, don't you think? Of course, readers I need to disclaim that I am also human. I do that too but not as bad. At least I don't double-face people, or being over-secretive to people and I only boast around when I get irritated by these idiotic species who boast about how great they do (but comparatively smaller compared to what I've done).
In a nutshell, I am not saying giving excuses are inexcusable. I am saying that you have to be practical in giving excuses. Don't make it cliched, otherwise, you're done for already!
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
I really really hate people giving excuses. Why can't they say "No, I don't feel like it," or "No, I'm lazy," to end it? Why must people always give insensible excuses like, "My parents are coming back home today," and all other stupid excuses. Well, I've been in a situation like this before. I was accused by my so-called true friends earlier this year just because I wanted to save money for college, just because I didn't attend most of their outings, just because I wanted to stay at home, just because I always go out with them earlier, they couldn't accept the fact then, that I was really having some financial difficulties and I became a hot topic for a moment. Anyhow, I decided to walk out of the fake group of friends. It was really a sad thing, where you were so close once, and then they start talking about you just because you don't join them. Screw them - sunk cost.
I did talk about this to my room mate on Monday night and yes, he was the person who inspired me to write this article. To him, he said he will blast the person who gives stupid excuses with full sarcasm in front of him. But to me, I blast people off with cold and stern words. Yes, I know I'm always radical. You cannot blame me for acting this way. It's considered very good for me not to simply rant at people for the small mistakes they do, don't you think so?
I've been through many circumstances and I've also been through a lot of people who gave me stupid excuses to slip through. I do admit I also give stupid excuses but I make it practical. I give very less excuses. If I could, I could. If I really couldn't, or I feel reluctant, I don't give stupid excuses, I give real excuses, "I'm sorry. I have a lot of things to do." Sadly, my application/principle of "Do unto others, what you want others do unto you" is not so practical. Perhaps, I need more time to nurture that habit of stop giving excuses.
Sigh, sometimes, I really think that I am very naive in this planet, with everyone else being so "double-faced", so "secretive", so proud of themselves, I am the one who is so openly accepting to these kind of threats, it makes me pretty vulnerable, don't you think? Of course, readers I need to disclaim that I am also human. I do that too but not as bad. At least I don't double-face people, or being over-secretive to people and I only boast around when I get irritated by these idiotic species who boast about how great they do (but comparatively smaller compared to what I've done).
In a nutshell, I am not saying giving excuses are inexcusable. I am saying that you have to be practical in giving excuses. Don't make it cliched, otherwise, you're done for already!
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Unconditional Love of a Mother
Mom sent this article to me and it managed to reduce me to tears. It was really meaningful, at least, for me, it is. I was earlier on, lacked of Mother's love. Or should I say, deprived?
The time is now
It is better to give them a little now than to give them the world when they are gone
The world is full of sons and daughters like you and me
I had a marvelous mother, who loved me,
Sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible.
In all of my growing up from childhood through
School and eventually marriage,
My mother was always at my side.
And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me.
A few years ago, we buried this wonderful woman.
Can you imagine how I felt when I returned home and
Found a poem in her drawer, written by my mom:
The time is now
If you are ever going to love
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow
Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice-cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please let me know now
If you wait until I am sleeping
There will be death between us
And I will not hear you then
So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it
Your loving mum
Now she is gone and I am sick with guilt
Because I never told her what she meant to me.
Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.
I found time for everyone and everything else
But I never made time for her.
It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea
And a hug but my friends came first.
Would any of them have done for me what my mother did?
I know the answer.
When I called mom on the phone,
I was always in a hurry.
I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off,
The times I retorted back to her,
The times I glared at her in an angry mood when she wanted to correct me and guide me through the correct path.
I remember too, the times I could have included her in a trip out and did not.
My children loved Grandma from the times they were babies.
They often turn to her for comfort and advice.
She understood them.
I realize now that I was too critical,
Too short-tempered, too stingy with praise.
Grandma gave them unconditional love.
The world is filled with sons, daughters and a child like me.
I hope they see themselves in this letter and realise from it.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
The time is now
It is better to give them a little now than to give them the world when they are gone
The world is full of sons and daughters like you and me
I had a marvelous mother, who loved me,
Sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible.
In all of my growing up from childhood through
School and eventually marriage,
My mother was always at my side.
And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me.
A few years ago, we buried this wonderful woman.
Can you imagine how I felt when I returned home and
Found a poem in her drawer, written by my mom:
The time is now
If you are ever going to love
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow
Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice-cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please let me know now
If you wait until I am sleeping
There will be death between us
And I will not hear you then
So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it
Your loving mum
Now she is gone and I am sick with guilt
Because I never told her what she meant to me.
Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.
I found time for everyone and everything else
But I never made time for her.
It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea
And a hug but my friends came first.
Would any of them have done for me what my mother did?
I know the answer.
When I called mom on the phone,
I was always in a hurry.
I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off,
The times I retorted back to her,
The times I glared at her in an angry mood when she wanted to correct me and guide me through the correct path.
I remember too, the times I could have included her in a trip out and did not.
My children loved Grandma from the times they were babies.
They often turn to her for comfort and advice.
She understood them.
I realize now that I was too critical,
Too short-tempered, too stingy with praise.
Grandma gave them unconditional love.
The world is filled with sons, daughters and a child like me.
I hope they see themselves in this letter and realise from it.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Disappointment
Sometimes, self-reliance is a lot better than what we have for now. I just got out of my Information and Technology System lecture. My lecturer has disappointed me. She lost momentum every single time I went for her lecture. It is now week 5. I've given her more than enough time to prove herself worthy to me (as well as the other course mates). It is very disappointing that she drags too much time, sitting down during her lecture (Do you think it is appropriate?).
I got out of the lecture hall about half hour prior to the end of lecture. Now, I am blogging about my disappointment in college library and I figured something out: Flipping through my text book and trying to understand my lecture notes ALL BY MYSELF (or with friends) are hell better than attending my time-consuming lecture.
Well, Mom, I am sure you will advise me about this, saying that I must go, whether it is fun or very dead boring. But have you forgotten, I couldn't ace well because of tuitions in form 3, but once I stopped all those nonsensical extra PAID classes, everything went a lot better. So, this is it. I am going to return to my traditional style.
I understood so many literatures, I understood astrophysics when I was in form 1 (but now I've forgotten, of course, because I am not applying it!), I understood Theory of Music very quickly (it is only 6 months, or less, and I am already in Grade 5), I understood so many things without a proper tutor beside me. I got an A for Physics in SPM despite the forever-changing teachers during form 4, I got an A- (sadly, the only A- in my result slip) for Biology, despite the unfathomable classes back in school. I got an A for Hubungan Etnik, knowing that my lecturer was terrible, I had to study like a mad cow, memorizing laws and sections with their definitions to support my answers.
I have done all of the above with grace of God and with His grace, He gave me presents - supporting friends and family, awesome library in my college for me to do research and my strength and confidence. I will not fucking go down so easily.
To whom it may concern: I don't care if you are a very poorly trained lecturer, or you're just getting money by sitting down during your lectures. Let me tell you this, if I score well, it is none of your credits, but if I do not get CGPA of 4.000 this semester and the factor is ITS, you are to be blamed. Bear in mind, what goes around, comes around. You will pay this price in the future.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
I got out of the lecture hall about half hour prior to the end of lecture. Now, I am blogging about my disappointment in college library and I figured something out: Flipping through my text book and trying to understand my lecture notes ALL BY MYSELF (or with friends) are hell better than attending my time-consuming lecture.
Well, Mom, I am sure you will advise me about this, saying that I must go, whether it is fun or very dead boring. But have you forgotten, I couldn't ace well because of tuitions in form 3, but once I stopped all those nonsensical extra PAID classes, everything went a lot better. So, this is it. I am going to return to my traditional style.
I understood so many literatures, I understood astrophysics when I was in form 1 (but now I've forgotten, of course, because I am not applying it!), I understood Theory of Music very quickly (it is only 6 months, or less, and I am already in Grade 5), I understood so many things without a proper tutor beside me. I got an A for Physics in SPM despite the forever-changing teachers during form 4, I got an A- (sadly, the only A- in my result slip) for Biology, despite the unfathomable classes back in school. I got an A for Hubungan Etnik, knowing that my lecturer was terrible, I had to study like a mad cow, memorizing laws and sections with their definitions to support my answers.
I have done all of the above with grace of God and with His grace, He gave me presents - supporting friends and family, awesome library in my college for me to do research and my strength and confidence. I will not fucking go down so easily.
To whom it may concern: I don't care if you are a very poorly trained lecturer, or you're just getting money by sitting down during your lectures. Let me tell you this, if I score well, it is none of your credits, but if I do not get CGPA of 4.000 this semester and the factor is ITS, you are to be blamed. Bear in mind, what goes around, comes around. You will pay this price in the future.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Do Not Disturb!
I doubt there's anything wrong because I could not feel the dark energy. Perhaps I am just too tired due to horrendous amount of things I take in lately. It was just too many but I believe things will soon be over. At least, I am sure for my orchestra. Seeing how tepid everything in the chamber is, there... I feel like withdrawing after the choir exchange program. I am quite certain about it. Things are simply too dull there and there is no commitment, no discipline, no nothing. It's simply dead!
Let's just put the negativity aside. I am enough tired with the fast-paced world I am currently living in, I shall block all those negative vibes so that I could have a HAPPY fast-paced world instead of a depressive one.
Today's plan (I think I'd have my nap first before continuing the day):
1. Complete FOA tutorial 4
2. Read Understanding Business for IOM Err... Wait... I think I've already read them last week. Shall I reread them, or simply read the notes? Yeah, I think notes should be okay!
3. Read Information System for ITS I just did my mind-mapping. Should I read? Yeah... I think I should. Reading more will not kill me, will it?
Till then, I shall wake up in 12.45pm. I am heading for my nap now. Toodles!
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
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