Christmas and Thanksgiving

 Yes, I'm talking about Christmas season again. Although it has been 2 days since then because I was just tagged on Facebook with the interesting pictures in church and in my pastor's house during dinner on Christmas night.

Insight of the church, during our arrangement of new chairs

Photoshot taken when all things are done!

 These pictures were taken on Christmas eve, after the celebration of Christmas for the World Harvest Children Church. We were at first, unwrapping our church's Christmas gift of NEW red chairs, and then we ended up playing dodge balls with the balled sling wraps. It was seriously joyful seeing everyone playing with it and especially when Perez started cursing mildly in Malay, which made me ALMOST ROTLMHO - rolling on the floor laughing my heads off.

When everything has been done, we finally took a group photo (actually more than one, but I chose this as my featured photo in my blog) together. And this, people. Is my big family (though incomplete), born again from the same Father - Jesus.

My Spiritual Family, during Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner

 Then, on Christmas, I woke up and prepared myself to go to church for our Christmas praise celebration and I received my first gift from God, through Jimmy, another brother in Christ during the alter call - Jimmy imparted to my his gift of teaching and I immediately fell down flat on my back by the power of God and felt my heart and soul being renewed.

We had our lunch outside the church after everything was over and there I got a lot of presents - handmade gifts, from many of them. I was shocked and touched to receive so many of their heartfelt Christmas gifts. Though, these are just papers and they are so small and valueless to many of you out there, but these things mattered a lot to me. It really struck deep in my heart. I think from here onwards, I shall be having a mini box for myself - to keep all these memorable stuffs because I'm afraid if I just leave it unattended, I will end up throwing them away next year. This usually happens when I don't take care of my stuffs.

My Kinship: Tricia, Bong Yang and I

Later, I got back to my hut and slept. Planning to wake up at 5pm, to prepare to go and help out in my pastor's house during dinner that night but I woke up at 6pm instead. I felt literally useless at that point. Then, David (the guy in purple tee below) fetched me at 7pm and I went there and WHOA. The house is filled with so many people. Yes, the picture you see above, in a more homely environment are those people who went for the thanksgiving dinner. Honestly, I felt so home and them and ate like a king, as what my section overseer has said to me: "Tonight, we shall eat like kings!"

Although I wanted to help out by giving out food to them, I somehow was tempted to eat. Oh, screwed. Temptation again. Ha, ha. Sorry, folks! My bad. But anyway, we all had a lot of fun there, with 3 people snapping so many pictures, talked about casual things with the pastors, watching Shrek 4ever on HBO, laughed my heads off on some funny scenes which literally made everyone around me felt uncomfortable with my laughter.

What more can I say?

Exactly, what more can I say? All in all, I thank God for giving me such wonderful spiritual family and blessing me with these wonderful people around me. Thanks to everyone and now, we shall be equipping ourselves for the mysterious year ahead. God bless everyone. Amen.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Pray, Fast, Eat

Amen! Let me update you guys on the bits I have in life right now. Yes, it's going to be about Christianity. It's going to be me talking about the conversations with my Father in Heaven. It's going to be visions that He gave me. Please bear in mind this, I am not trying to do any brain-washing. If you feel so, kindly exit. I don't want my intention to be mistaken as any sort of brainwashing.

So, here we go. On Friday when I called home for some issue that I somewhat forgot right now, I had the urge to go back home, amidst the pile of papers for me to do my reading - exam is coming! Anyway, my focus should be on Him, so I don't have to worry much. God promised me that for whatever situation I am having now, He shall help me through it. Amen!

That Friday night, I went to House of Prayers for All Nation (in short, HOPFAN) and there, I heard His voice also wanting me to go back home. So, I waited more for answers and minutes after that during the prayers, I heard one of my church mates confirmed the call from God (in Tongues). Then, He again asked me to pray for all nations and fast during my prayers, so I asked Him, "How, God? Teach me." Immediately, another friend there confirmed my fasting during prayers (in Tongues). Bear in mind that this is not of cult whatsoever.

1 Corinthians 12:7-11

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁷ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. ⁸ To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, ⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, ¹⁰ to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,^[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.^[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

(I prefer NIV to NKJV for public read because NKJV requires real contemplation of words and almost everything there is in the Mid-English.)

So, here is it. I asked God for signs and He gave me the gift of interpretation of Tongues that night. I asked Tricia, after the prayers, how to fast and she told me there are many ways to fast. I wanted to do the full fast of 7am to 7pm, of no solid food. But then again, Tricia advised me not to, because exam is coming near and I need to focus in my studies too. So, I reduced it into a lunch fast. I use the time to eat, to pray and sing praises to the Lord. My prayers are for the nations in the world, more renewal of mind, unwell people be cured and more salvation.

On Saturday, (my first day of fasting) during dinner where I break my fast and thank God for His spiritual food as my lunch, I went to Johnny's to eat with Granny and did a lot of (WINDOW) shopping, until she complained that her back ached. That night, I laid my left hand on her back and prayed silently. It didn't cure until today, I prayed again and immediately, she was healed. See how silent prayers work?

As for my Sabbath yesterday, I went to a church with my friend's family, since I do not know where it is. There, I was rebuked for my faith in Him (just like what He told me before I left KL) but let's just drop this issue. It is not good to speak bad of anything.


For these few days, as I was praying earnestly, He gave me visions and verses to proclaim and all are of salvation. I believe that once He gave me something to meditate on, those things will always come to pass. Amen.

I believe, right now. This is my testimony, that I could share it openly to the public to be blessed.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Being humble, and teachable

Tonight marks another great journey of my spiritual journey.

My spiritual leaders and I talked about homosexuality and being humble. We exchanged thoughts on the first few hours but then, I finally dismissed the heat in me to fight back and decided to eat what was given to me - it's for my own good. They said that I'm growing and I need to maintain teachable and very humble and simply receive what people advise me on, to grow MORE. They also reminded me of how can I see so many visions the first few days of my journey with the Lord, because of my child-like faith.

Now, it has come to pass, a reality check, given by my spiritual leaders. It was not a bad thing at all. In fact, I'd have to thank them for teaching me and reminding me to be humble, as the prouds will be dismissed but the humble be blessed (I can't remember the exact words for this scripture, however). Today's walk with Him was good and I would like to ask for more to come. Tonight, really. I have learnt so much. Let me share with you what I learnt.

1. Homosexuality is a mere misunderstood mindset - set free from it!
2. Be humble and teachable. You never lose for being humble and teachable.
3. Maintain a child-like faith for with that, we grow exponentially.
4. Always respect others, regardless of how close you think you are to that person.
5. Don't be stubborn - accept what people teach you, it's for your own good.
6. Ask for renewal of mind - that is repentance already!
7. Sometimes, you just have to mind your own business.

Now, listing this makes me wonder why did we speak for almost three hours. Is it because of the heated and endless debate? Is it because God wants to show me more through them? But, for whatever it is, I am very grateful. They have changed another part of me. Love you, guys!

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Kyrie Eleison!

There are a lot of things I would like to bring up. I had been receiving God's grace for these 3 days and I finally got the answer. I accepted Christ on 20/11/2011.

18/11/2011 Friday
-I met a guy in my college whom I thought I could never see (since I have accidentally intimidated him earlier on in Facebook chat). This made my day significant on my Friday morning.
-Second thing that made the day fruitful was this: My talkshow (group English presentation) was a major hit! WEEHOO! We have all completely left our tutor dumbstruck. She couldn't find out anything bad to comment on. She was repeating a lot of "Very good" to us with a broad smile.
-Third thing was again, during Music Theory. I gave my interpretation of a piano concerto that my teacher is currently playing and she was glad to receive it. She even agreed to what I wrote upon.

19/11/2011 Saturday
-I saw the guy mentioned above again which was rather shocking for me
-I had dinner with my "special" Christian friends (Bong Yang and Tricia) whom I could see lights upon them when I first met them and we spoke about very spiritual stuffs. Let me not just venture there. It's just hard to believe, seriously. Anyway, this made my day significant.

20/11/2011 Sunday
-I went to World Harvest Church to listen to a speech by Mr Oliver Tham. For both sessions. First session was at 10am (I had breakfast with Tricia, who invited me there, earlier) and the second was at 5pm.
-I left at 12pm, having appointment with my Music teacher in KLCC (with her friends). So then, I was blessed to go to watch the concert (although the conductor didn't have enough energy for me). The ticket was only RM15! Oh goodness, could you imagine that?! It was really good.
-I came back just on time for the second Oliver session and it went on until 8pm, I think. There during the ending, there were signs of Christ for me already. All I did was to pray for righteousness and my prayer was answered. What happened was really extraordinary.

Pardon me, non-believers. This is really hard for you to believe in what I am going to say. You have to accept Him to understand my feeling.

I started trembling and I told Tricia who brought me there, "I think I have the answer. To accept Christ." And I narrated about the whole prayer session a few minutes before I got the answer and I started feeling numb. It was both my hands first. My friends brothers and sisters in Christ there told me that it was all God's grace and honestly. It was FREAKING HEAVY on me! I closed my eyes and was brought into such situation for a period of time.

I then laid my head and hands on Bong Yang's thighs and clasping his hand, after I received Christ in me. I felt the absurd pressure on me! It was heavy, but holy. Then I started crying and screaming for my physical body couldn't accept the grace God has descended on me that night. I collapsed on the floor (I was lucky it was carpeted, so it was rather soft) screaming and they asked me to call out Jesus' name and I did. Okay, at this point. I just thought of Bella. Yeah, now I understand how she felt when the venom was in her body. I know this analogy is epic, but yeah. It was similar to what she was feeling.

There, I saw so many things. Time shall only tell the meanings of each vision I saw that night. Then, it came to a point where I spoke with such authority and I received answers from God about my doubts because earlier on, I had the worry in me that once I accept Christ, I will have to stop praying to my ancestors, but that night I received the answer from Him saying that it is okay to do so because this is MY tradition and not other religions which forbids you doing all sorts of rituals.

These are a few things that I could remember saying:
"Don't call me Alex, for those who only know me today. For this is not my God-given name. Call me (insert my romanized Chinese name) for this is my God-given name to me!"
"That was what I was trying to say, Bong Yang. Whatever you think I pray to, I always say God is only One. The Lord, God is ONLY ONE!!!" (my voice changed entirely for this line)
"Tricia, you father will accept Christ again. Believe in me. Oh Lord father, I pray to You that You shall make (Tricia's dad's full name) accept You once more before he breathe his last breath, O Lord!"

My words were not from me. There were even a few sessions where I spoke in Tongue. It was the Spirit who used me to speak to everyone who was there for me that night. It was simply amazing how God used me to speak to everyone there. Thank You, God.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: For you non-believers. Don't be afraid, if you really think I will end up preaching every minute of my life to you. I received the calling of "being a preacher with my actions, not words," this was what God told me when I was collapsed. "People go to you and then you preach to them. You don't seek them. Let them seek you," He continued.

Also, I got another calling (to be honest, I only slept from 11pm to 1am and I've been awake since then. The time is 3.50am, by the way) when I read Matthew right after I woke up. It was reinstated when I was listening to Mozart's Messa di Requiem. My second calling (my Assignment) is to lead an orchestra. A conductor. This is my calling!

To conclude, for you readers. May God bless you with the goodness from heaven and you shall taste the sweetness of heaven for yourself when your time has come. Amen.

Today is 12/11/2011

Yesterday, God finally answered my call! I love You, God. Thanks for granting my wish. My Dad's sickness is finally over.

Dad, if you read this...
I wanna apologize that I have not been a good son to you, by sinning against you when you were down. I was/am naive about the circumstances and plans that you have laid for me. You might come home drunk, you might talk nonsense. You might even scold me for my wrongdoings. You left me. You came back. You left me again. You came back again. You didn't know that last week was my first time, I shed tears for you when I knew you were leaving back to the UK again. I guess, all these while, when I lied to myself and said, "Let things be. I don't wanna be bothered," was just a lie. That night, when I cried, I noticed that whatever that happened, whatever psychological torture you gave me since you met Patricia, I couldn't hate you, although I did say so a few times in the past. I simply couldn't. My heart denied that feeling that I was trying to plant into it (because I don't wanna be hurt in future anymore). You have lost my respect since you didn't hear my pleas.

But yesterday, Dad. You have gained my respect again. I could finally see your responsibility as a Dad, not just giving me my financial needs for the next 4 years to come but also gave me advices regarding investments and savings as well as protecting me last night. I finally see it. You have always respected my choices in whatever I do and only detest my choices when I am proven to have bad judgments, now I shall respect your choice to go back to the UK. Thank you, Dad. I love you. I also love You, God for giving me such pleasant evening yesterday, although it rained pretty badly at first.

That's not all. My English teacher also told me that I am very unique when it comes to acting. She said that not many could actually forget who they are in reality to get into the role of the characters. We also discussed on the matter of synchronization of music and acting lines. Apparently there is a very huge breach of communication between these two. It was my fault for neglecting the music line. I'm sorry. All in all, next Monday, everything shall be discussed and finalized. The performance is coming nearer each minute and I still can't see something solid from the group. Despite the fact that we have been practising since the beginning of the semester, we still have a lot of space for improvement. I am a fair person and I am saying this justly, "If we don't do something about this by next week, we'll be humiliating ourselves on the stage next month."

When I reached home and went for my Music Theory class, there was another message uttered with sincerity by my Music teacher which inspired me, and thus I believed that my enthusiasm has made her day too...

We were in Melody Composition. It was an eight-bar melody of composition. I chose to compose for the cello (I will always do so, because that's the only bass-clef instrument I know of) and my teacher and I volleyed each other on the melody at cadence points. She told me that she has always taught her students to reply to the opening melody by using SEQUENCE/ IMITATION, because to her, that's the safest method (besides scales of course).

My words touched her; I said, "Sorry. Please let me think of the melody. It's running in my head already," we kept quiet until I wrote my last note. After I wrote out the melody, she tried changing it by using her method of teaching her students - sequence/ imitation. I said, "No. It is not meant to be played this manner. The final note cannot be played with the low F note. This piece is meant to be happy! The low F note suggests 'This is the end of my melody composition and I want you to clap NOW'." She smiled and nodded her head and we agreed on retaining the high F note.

Then, she told me to add the musical performance directions which I immediately added because such articulations were already in my head when she tried my melody on the piano. I noticed that she asked me a lot of questions (I sensed she was quite excited) during my "decorating" session, "Upbow, downbow?" "Want to slur?" "Louder here perhaps?" I took some and rejected many. I did not mean to disrespect her. I wanted to prove to her that, that was what was in my mind and I wanted her to comment on my composition. I also believe that compositions are never rigid. The 4 golden rules (Sequence, Imitation, Repetition and Contrast) and simply provided as guidelines. I did more passing and auxilliary notes and broken chords instead.

When it was time to bid each other goodbye, she finally said, "All these while, I have never met a student which has the melody constructed in their heads. They always follow what I say. If I do not tell them what to do, in their minds, they're all empty."

I retorted, "But, come on! All you students play the piano. Can't they imagine?"

Her reply was very sensible, "Don't you know that most children are forced by their parents?"

I kept quiet, knowing that she was absolutely right about this. She progressed on talking about her colleague who has been teaching the piano for 14 years never has a student going for the ABRSM Grade 8 practical examination. I couldn't agree more on her heartache.

She also voiced her sadness (though not directly) to me about how her students seem uninterested and how they all show very slow progress in their practical. Then I joked, "Then, Mr. William is indeed very lucky to have me as his student for guitar! I am the fastest student in his classes. Usually, one month, we will go up another level." I bid her goodbye and good night.

To these people, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all have made my day. Really. Thank you.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS: For my non-avid readers, my Dad's sickness, it's metaphorical.
PSS: Damn! As I do my editing of the title, I just noticed that yesterday was indeed a special day - thanks to 11/11/11!!

What I have been up to recently

Had I been an atheist, I would have died already. God has always been there for me, listening to my prayers - Thank You!

What I have been up to recently?
1. Very busy with due assignments. ITS assignment due next week and my leader is still not sure what to do. I'm planning to take over soon enough. Just when it's time to end. We have to submit our assignments up on Friday next week. My part to worry is: Are my members going to be able to finish up their assignments on time? Although I know that their individual worksheets are not going to affect me by a tiniest bit, but I want the best out of them. Pardon me for speaking in such manner. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not the leader, but I am going to be by next week - I would need their works to be compiled under my file (since I am the first, alphabetically, so I need to use my name as my group. This is what I call indirect leadership).

2. ITS been put aside, I have English group presentation, also due next Friday. Actually, that's our presentation date. We chose (I should say, I chose because everyone had tremendous stress to cope up with due to this topic, including me. But, I know they could do it. I have faith in them) WAR as our topic. This is how it sounds like: "War has been a polemic issue. However, since the end of World War II, there are still regional wars in many parts of the world. Discuss the causes and effects of war and ways to prevent it."

3. Now, I also have ITS test on next Friday after our group presentation. I had to stay up late last night (I only started revising yesterday after dinner, around 11pm) to read and memorize the first chapter. I don't quite like to use the term MEMORIZE actually... I prefer, UNDERSTAND. As a result, I skipped my IOM lecture at 8am. I was too tired. I'd be dead tired if I go for it. Anyhow, I was lucky that this chapter is quite easy - Management and Leadership. It's very interesting too!!

4. My drama group is pretty much on its downturn at the moment. The music line has some problems which I ignored since the beginning of the practice. I admit, it's my management fault and I am very sorry for this. Today, during our supposed practice, we didn't because the guitarists were not available for today's slot - oh, how much I hate being informed about their last minute changes! So, today the actors talked about this and we have come up with a grand solution - focus more on music line from next practice onwards! As for the props, make-up and what not, I'll leave it to my English tutor. That is not my concern. My concern is mainly on this dancers. Once everything is settled, I shall synchorize everything up already. To my actors, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for telling me your great CONTIGENCY plan! I really appreciate them.

So, till then, wish me luck in whatever may come tomorrow (symbolically, future).
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Unconditional Love of a Mother

Mom sent this article to me and it managed to reduce me to tears. It was really meaningful, at least, for me, it is. I was earlier on, lacked of Mother's love. Or should I say, deprived?

The time is now
It is better to give them a little now than to give them the world when they are gone
The world is full of sons and daughters like you and me

I had a marvelous mother, who loved me,
Sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible.

In all of my growing up from childhood through
School and eventually marriage,
My mother was always at my side.

And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me.
A few years ago, we buried this wonderful woman.
Can you imagine how I felt when I returned home and
Found a poem in her drawer, written by my mom:
 
The time is now
If you are ever going to love
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow
Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice-cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please let me know now
If you wait until I am sleeping
There will be death between us
And I will not hear you then
So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it


Your loving mum
Now she is gone and I am sick with guilt
Because I never told her what she meant to me.

Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.

I found time for everyone and everything else
But I never made time for her.

It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea
And a hug but my friends came first.

Would any of them have done for me what my mother did?
I know the answer.

When I called mom on the phone,
I was always in a hurry.

I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off,
The times I retorted back to her,
The times I glared at her in an angry mood when she wanted to correct me and guide me through the correct path.
I remember too, the times I could have included her in a trip out and did not.

My children loved Grandma from the times they were babies.
They often turn to her for comfort and advice.
She understood them.
I realize now that I was too critical,
Too short-tempered, too stingy with praise.
Grandma gave them unconditional love.
The world is filled with sons, daughters and a child like me.
I hope they see themselves in this letter and realise from it. 

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Waiting

Drafted while I was waiting for bus to return home yesterday...

To me, waiting is a non-habitual action. I just loathe waiting for things to pop out. Especially waiting for bus to go back home. I somehow feel that waiting is a waste of time, or should I just say that I am too ignorant to slow down? There are times where I noticed how slow everything around me is when I have nothing to do but wait. I could not help it but to ask myself, "Should I slow down?"

Just today, this morning after my Macroeconomics lecture, I was discussing with my English tutor about the drama for English Carnival where I will act as a wife, I received a message from Dad asking me to call home when I was free. He offered to fetch me home, from the bus terminal. So, I did call back and I regretted it. He told me that he quit his job in the supermarket. My heart sank a little and I was thinking to skip the next class, and go back home straight. Many thanks to the many books I read about life, I didn't succumb into the negativity because after all, I cannot control everything around me. I ain't God!

I felt that being depressed could not help anything at all. The tears, worries and depressions - are all actually in vain. There was also at times, I prayed to God to heal his sickness for he is always ill, in my eyes. At first I thought that he has been cured, that was when he got a job here after his return from England.

You know very clearly there always is something called BUT in a story.

Now he told me he quit his job, because his boss scolds him and misusing him. Well, I would understand, because if I were him I would have gone amock and screw the boss up too but hey, look at this. He has responsibility as a father, doesn't he? Pardon me, readers for talking about such bad things about my father. I too know it is sinful to talk about my own family's bad things, which tarnishes my family name (lesson learnt from Di Zi Gui) but I am actually writing for others to be inspired. I hope I have the power to inspire all of you, to stay strong.

I have been working voluntarily in The Chronicles of a Broken Heart as an advice columnist, I have just been nominated as the Staff of the Weeks and now, I shall follow my own advice. Wait. Time heals basically everything. Wait. Things will go well. Pray. God is just making me stronger with all these tests. Pray. God has never wanted to do anything bad to me, He always have good plans laid ahead of me (lesson learnt from a biblical verse).

Wait. Pray. I will.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Lessons of Life

From: The Chronicles of Broken Heart. Another article that I've written for my Staff Sunday Submission, I find worthwhile sharing it out. Enjoy.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

 xxxxx

Over the past one week, I was really bored doing my same old routine. Then, I've decided to read the books my Mom lent me 2 weeks ago. These are the lessons I've learnt and I find it worthwhile sharing.

First: Tuesdays with Morrie.
I've learnt that if a culture doesn't suit us, don't buy it.
I've learnt that love continues to go on, even when someone or something we love so much, goes away.
I've learnt that to forgive people, we have to forgive ourselves first. Keeping grudges doesn't do the trick. Let go.

Second: The Five People You Meet in Heaven
First lesson: A story doesn't stand by itself. Who we are today, is all because of the people around us. THEY mold us to be who everyone sees us as today.
Second lesson: Sometimes, we just have to make sacrifices, and not regretting it. Sacrifices are made, to make both parties better.
Third lesson: Anger is a poison and hatred is a curved blade. The more we hate someone, the more harm we do to ourselves. Once again, forgive.
Fourth lesson: Lost love is a love too. It only takes a different form. Says who we cannot love people who have died? As a matter of fact, the love for the dead, is much stronger than the love for the living because the deceased lives forever in our memories.
Fifth lesson: Everyone in the world is bound to protect. Protect someone, or something. It is only a natural habit for us to protect. It might either come in a form of responsibility (as what parents do) or a reflexive manner (as what we might do to strangers).

Third: For One More Day
I've learnt that regretting what we've done (or not doing it) in the past, for good or bad, isn't going to do us good at all. We cannot blame the people around us for things that don't go well as planned. After all, humans plan, God decides. Take things as it is and don't fret over it. When things don't work out well, stop and think. Don't make harsh decisions. Everything happens for a reason.

And readers,
You won't be expecting me to write that short, do you? Let me tell you the one thing I am shocked of my own action, but before that a little history from me, few years ago...

When I was still in my secondary school, my father remarried a lady that I really hated. That we (Granny and I) really hated. She was the poison in the family and she literally ruined my life! Yes, I know the meaning of "literally" and I am using it right. She ruined my life by taking Dad away (like what I've written in Metamorphosis), made him leave. Made him forgo his four-figure salary here and to work in the UK as a security officer. Made him sell his car. Made me felt "not right". Could you still love someone who did this to you? I was aware that the bible did say we shall love our enemies and bless those who curse us. I was aware. I know but I didn't apply that in my life, until I've read all these books mentioned above. I also like to quote Vidura, "What forgiveness cannot achieve?" Makes sense?

And I did. I sent an email to Dad upon finishing my second book. "Dad, please tell Aunt Pat that I've forgiven her. Love, Son," I didn't have her contacts. I wouldn't wish to have it either.
His reply was, "She has never kept it in her heart."
And I wrote, "Yeah. I know she might not. But I am very sure she knows that I have held grudges on her. Please tell her that I've forgiven her dad. Love, Son."

Although I have yet to see my stepmother, I've felt that I'm ready to go forward. Also, I did mention to everyone who was close to me. If I am ready to forgive her (my stepmother), I am ready to forgive everyone else in the world. Let's just end this post with, "To whom it may concern, I've decided to let go my grudges on you. And I hope you may forgive me for my wrongdoings too. May God bless you perpetually."

Yours truly,
Alex.

I never knew I could narrate this much. A story of me metamorphosing into a better person for the world.

I wrote this to The Chronicles of a Broken Heart and thought it is a very good thing to share to you readers here too. Enjoy.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

METAMORPHOSIS
I chose metamorphosis instead of "making changes" because changes could be very small and no body notices them much, but metamorphosis is something big. You see how a cocoon transforms into a beautiful butterfly? That's how metamorphosis works.

My metamorphosis took place this year. Let's see a few (minor) befores and afters my college endurance.

BEFORE:
1. I was very anxious about a lot of things.
2. I get impatient very quickly.
3. I get angry at a blink of an eye.
4. I smile less
5. I join lesser crowds

AFTER:1. I am still anxious, but now I know it will not help anything by only being anxious. I learn to work things out.
2. I only get impatient with rational things. I don't get impatient that easily anymore.
3. I understand that everything happens for a reason. I rarely get angry unless people poke me too much.
4. I smile a lot more and don't quite care to look around people who hate me or dislikes me. I live in my own happy circle with good friends.
5. I still join lesser crowds, but I am grateful to have my own crowd. I love them for who they are and it was mainly because of them, I've changed into a better person (spiritually).

Here comes my major story:
Things were all fine when I was born, (with my parents, grandparents and cousin sister) until I was 3 years old. My mother was still carrying my sister and my parents finally divorced with the reasons I need not tell. You tell me, what are the most common reasons people divorce?

I was sad for a moment but due to my young age, I forgot those melancholy very quickly. When I was 6, I was brought to court as my mother demanded my custody. She was the plaintiff and me, defendant. Or I should say I am the key witness to the case. My father was a defendant. These were the conversation between me and the judge which until now, I still remember clearly.
"So, you chose to stay with your father. Why?""Because... I like my house. I like to stay with my grandparents. I have an air-conditioner in my room."
"Well, what if your mom's house having an air-conditioner in your room for you? Will you stay with her?"
"No," with a sheepish smile which made the judge and secretary smiled too.
"Well, what if you get to see your grandparents every now and then, when you stay with your mother? Will you be okay to stay with her?"
"No," again with the smile. This time, I took a little longer time to answer him.
"Why?" he prompted.
"Because...... I like staying with my grandparents. I like my house. I like my air-conditioner in my room," this they laughed again because I repeated what I have said earlier. The effect was, my house members went down from six to five.

This was my choice, which made who I am today, and my father won the case. Pardon my stupidity, readers. I was small and I didn't know the meaning of death until when I was 10 years old. My grandfather passed away, which reason that I could vaguely remember. That hit me pretty badly that time; and so my house members went down from five to four.

When I was 11, if I could remember correctly. My father had a big quarrel with my cousin sister one night and chased her out of the house. It was a trauma for me. It simply reminded me of how badly did he manage to control his temper and often fought with Granny every now and then when I was small. Four to three.

When I was 13, also if I could remember clearly. I suck at remembering "how old are you when this happened?". My father remarried to a woman whom I (not forgetting Granny) hated her a month after knowing her. She was by all means a bad influence to my dad. She had brainwashed dad until he forsake us both (me and Granny) in a way that he spent lesser time with us. She had brainwashed dad until he forwent his well-paid job here and decided to start fresh in LONDON with her. I'd begged for him not to go. Twice. But he insisted. I remembered this very clearly - he went to England when I was 15 and I was in a camp the day he flew off.

As soon as I stepped into my house, I collapsed onto the ground and cried, lamenting to Granny, "Why must he leave? Am I doing anything wrong? It was Mom, then Grandpa, (then Shirley, my cousin; I didn't say this when I cried, but I meant it) and now papa! Granny, tell me. What did I do wrong and why everyone is leaving me?!" She couldn't help but cry too. I doubt she was sad her son left her, she was sad for me. As soon as I was pacified, I slept for 14 hours due to the fatigue in camp and trauma at home.

I've hated my father since then and Granny couldn't understand. Although I was good with him, I was just BEING NICE, because it is bad to be rude to one's father. I believe he knows this too. Until one night in recent August, when I was in hostel (present. Now I am 18), with my friend in my room. Granny called me and told that "Dad is coming home. You told me to inform you so you could come home a little later, right? You shouldn't do like this! He is your father, for whatever he did to you! What would he feel when he knows you're doing this to him? Just think for yourself," and she hung down the phone. I was rather angry that moment for being bombarded in such a manner. I called Shirley (knowing that calling Mom would be a sore in the ears for some reasons, she is not there to understand my predicaments) and cried to her, with my friend there, and I felt that God spoke through her for this sentence, "Whatever it is, Granny is right. He is still your father. What you do now is to let go. Forgive him. Untie the knot. No matter how hard it is, you have to try, because if you don't, you will suffer. Not anyone else." She spoke with such authority which I had nothing else to say to her besides, "Okay. Thanks. I shall rest now. Good night. I love you."

I prayed a short prayer that moment and the next morning, when I woke up, "Our hallowed Father in Heaven, be praised on Your name. Father, I just pray to you that my knot will be untied. And also, I pray to You that You will help me to lift this revenge off my heart, Father Lord. Please, Lord. I beg for Your deliverance from such revenge in my heart because I believe, Lord. Without you, I will not be able to make it out. You are my sole strength when everything else fails, Lord. Please, supply me again with your strength to lift this revenge off my heart. Supplicanti parce, Deus!"

I forgot about Dad's wrongdoings as I've never thought about it anymore. I didn't quite know that my prayer was heard until yesterday, 3rd September 2011. Dad called and told me he is coming back to Malaysia as soon as he gets his paycheck there and intends not to go back to London. That moment, was the first time ever feeling that the grudge in me being lifted up. Normally, I would feel very sad and depressed (being confirmed by my close friend when I talked to him about it last night, when I said "I would normally feel very sad, you know it, right?" He replied, "VERY!") when I know he is coming back but yesterday. I didn't. I felt that it's part and parcel of my life. I have learnt to let go already. I've decided to let whatever comes and goes, as it is. After all, I could not control EVERYTHING in the world. This, I have finally understood. I hope this long article inspires the readers around the world to learn to forgive and forget. Of course, remember that GOD is always there, listening to you. You only have to believe in your prayers. That's all.

"What forgiveness cannot achieve?" - Vidura.

Yours truly,
Alex.

I forgot to update you people about this

On Friday, after hanging out with my (someone whom I dare call as) friend in Dang Wangi from 12pm to 5.30pm (it was a long nice journey on foot, where we ventured the whole area there but sadly I've lost my camera), I got back to my hostel dead tired for the day but I didn't sleep because it was too near to dinner.

I took a bath and by 7.30pm, my friend and I went out to TBR for food, there we noticed a guy had lost his wallet, but lucky his ID card was there with him though. In the stall, my friend and I talked for about 1 hour or so. I noticed he was a little sad that his room mate was leaving the next day. Although he denied it, I could hear from his tone and words. He was sad, yes.

As I got back to my room, I noticed that I had a miss call from Mom and later a message asking me to call her ASAP as she's fetching me that night after my sister's tuition at 10pm. So I did and she asked me to get ready by then. After everything had been done (repacking a few things, sweeping the floor) I came on Facebook for a short while and there was this friend, totally disgusted me with her attitude. Well, I am not implying that she is disgusting, I am just saying that her attitude doesn't quite suit me. I was bombarded for the 30 minutes on Facebook with so much of her repetitive stories which I now can write it out myself, and yes. It was very boring indeed but I managed to survive that wave. I would have died that night if Mom didn't come on time to save me! The one thing about her is this: She talks just too very much and I am not interested to listen. You see, I understand her too. Sometimes I talk like that as well but at least I would end it quick when the person is feeling bored with that topic.

Then, nothing much happened when I was staying with Mom for 3 days 2 nights except Saturday dinner in a Chinese restaurant. We were all peacefully eating until I saw something and laughed my heads off and I honestly felt my lungs were about to explode. There was this 4-layers-of-fats woman as old as most teenagers' mothers wearing a tight fitting pink tee with words imprinted: GOODBYE BOYS, SEE ME IN YOUR DREAMS. Holy crap! I made the neighbouring tables looked at me for a bit. That's embarrassing!

Then later at night, when Sis and I were on bed, we talked so much until 3.30am. I thought before I smiled, "If Mom has to scold me to wake me up later, it would worth it. I have rarely talked to my sister this long before in my life," and I silently thanked God for the moments we had. When the sun rose, I woke up quite independently, although Mom came to the room. We had a light breakfast and shot off at 8am, reaching home at 9.40am, bringing out all my big bags of things. There, Mom talked a little while with Granny and they both shot back to KL right after that, to avoid the traffic jam. After a light chat, I went up to my room to sleep. The journey was too tiring for me and I slept for a good 4 hours and woke up only at 4pm!

Now, my routine is simply in  this structure/cycle:
1. Wake up, brush my teeth.
2. Breakfast with coffee.
3. TV
4. Cello
5. Facebook
6. Gulliver's Travels
7. Food
8. Sleep

Lifeless.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Last Minute Changes...

Last night was a super duper hectic life for me! Wanna peek in my mind, here is it:

Scene 1: Dad's flight has been postponed to September, I cannot depend on him anymore to send me back home.

Scene 2: Mom's car is down at the moment and will be repaired during the holidays, so there is no hope for me to depend on her to send me back home.

Scene 3: I need to carry my cello back home to practice and I would really look ugly to bring it back home like this on bus! I would look like a hooligan.

Scene 4: I had a one-week's laundry to wash before I leave this semester, because I was wanting to safe my RM3 for laundry and pack this back home, but... Just read the above scenes, then you'll understand.

Scene 5: I had to go to meet someone about some part-time job at 10pm and it was 9.40pm that time when I started panicking. At 10pm, we went there and wasted spent 1 hour plus listening to an MLM product. Holy cow! 

To whom it may concern: Allow me to highlight these part. I'm sorry, people. I might look like I am interested but I actually am listening, that's all. I am a born listener and yes, that's me. I didn't consider anything at that point. Well, let's just take it as a value judgment session for your presentations, alright. You all did good but you tire people who listen. No offense, alright?

Scene 6: I came back to hostel at around 11.30pm and started hardcore discussion with my hostel friends. 4 of us, in my room. Discussing techniques and different question types. Of course there are a lot of hollering because everyone was stressed up last (mid)night and I broke the tense with another stress, "Guys, seriously. I can see that 2 years from now, in Sem 7, we're gonna be here in this room, discussing Law, Audit, ICDM and what not," they all were a little awed with this (although it is going to be a fact) but we continued studying after that, ignoring what I had just said. After our discussion had ended at 1.30am. We finally bade each other goodbye and sleep.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Of a Pair of Shoes and Respectful Argument

Status: I am listening to metal songs to drown my sorrows away.

My story:
I called Granny back after noticing her miss call moments ago, "Hello, Granny. Anything?"
"Where have you been?"
"Away. Canteen, for lunch."
"Why are you not bringing your phone there?"
"Well, it's just a short distance. So yeah."
"I see... Anyway I am calling just to ask you when are you coming back home, so I could buy you a pair of shoes. I've just received Grandpa's bonus allowance, that's why."

The shoes... It kinda tugged my heartstrings when she said that. Those pair of shoes are what I am looking forward since I've seen it last month but due to my extremely elastic income elasticity of demand (pardon me, I'm speaking Economics here), I've decided to forgo that shoes and buried that thoughts deep down under.

"Huh? No, don't waste your money over things like this. I've told you I am going to wait for new year so Papa will send some money for me to buy it, remember?" I half raised my tone, unintentionally. I always get angry when people buy things for me. I feel I am rather "worthless" for them that they have to waste their money on me and I HATE to use other people's money, family or no family, especially on things I want! I want to use my own purchasing power to buy that good I want, not by using other people's money. I have even promised Mom to return her RM800 once I get the money, because I couldn't liquidate my fixed deposit just yet to pay for my hostel extension, the due date is in September.

"I don't think your dad is going to give that much of allowance for you for new year. You do know that he doesn't have a stable job in the UK, don't you?" She prompted me.

"Yes, I know but still... Let a father does his responsibility. You have that bonus allowance, you keep it for your own use. Don't waste your money over things like this." I added, and I wanted to add "They won't last" too, but I was afraid she might be hurt by my rejection of her good deed. She had nothing else to say and we bade each other goodbye over the phone.

So you see, readers. The problem is my Granny's extensive love towards me (1) and my evergreen rejection of offer by other people because of my "worthless" self (2). Yes, readers. I know this is a very negative thinking by saying I don't quite like to waste their (people around me) money over me. I was also advised by this friend, "Don't be silly. People do what they enjoy right? And they enjoy talking to you. Spending time with you. See? Don't think such stupid things by saying you're worthless for them."

Sigh... Me and my brain. That's my true enemy in this universe!


Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Here's my update

As usual, I'm sorry for playing the MIA game here. Exam is TOMORROW and I am still reading but many thanks to waking up quite early, I have finished reading the whole subject for tomorrow. I am just aiming for the best but if I can't, I should be glad with what I have in hands. Upon reading this subject, I was hiding in my room for a period of 4 hours (or was it longer?) and singing MCR songs in between to regulate with my building blocks of pressure and stress.

Today's Mom's birthday but I've already celebrated with her and Sis on Sunday. She understood my predicaments. Many thanks to her, I have had the first birthday celebration with her and Sis. Although it isn't grand but it's good enough. The aesthetic value of the lunch we had together was priceless. So, once again, Happy Birthday, Mom. Although sometimes I tend to show my distaste for you and Dad in the past, I now understood clearly that everything has its special reason and it is indeed a blessing in disguise since you left the matrimony home. Thanks again for spending time with me on Sunday. I'm still sorry for the "where should we have our lunch?" incident that drove Sis mad. LOL!

Third and final update: I have just enrolled myself under NUFFNANG. It's a kind of organization which posts campaigns on my blog and I earn money with that. Thanks to my hostel mate who told me about this. Now, I find more reasons to update, share and inspire all of you. Whee! For my classmates and all other people out there who are having exam tomorrow - good luck and sleep well tonight!

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

I swear not to forget what happened last night!

Dear hostel friends who were with me yesterday,
I honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart. I silently thanked God when we've returned to our hostel later that night for giving me such beautiful friends here. Now, I simply understand what TRUE friends really mean. We don't have to share secrets or do crazy things together to proof that statement but just by being there for me just when I was unwell, was more than enough. You all stayed on, although I have asked you to leave earlier. This is simply... beyond words. I was touched. THANKS!

Readers, this was what happened yesterday...

I woke up late morning, around 11am lazing around my house. I told myself, a few more hours and I'll be off to hostel again. I bade Granny, brushed my teeth and set for breakfast and I went up to my room again to check my mails and have a few bouts in Facebook. I chattered all the way to 2pm which later Granny cooked lunch for me and I ate it, but it wasn't enough. It was too less! Granny said, "It's OK. Just make sure that you eat once you're in KL," and I didn't wanna tire her by cooking more for me too. And so I resumed my Facebook all the way till 3pm. I took my bath and got ready for a take-off.

I then reached KL with a growling stomach, at 7pm that I didn't quite bother to tame just yet. Then all of us headed to Wangsa Maju for dinner. Things got worse from this point of time. I started becoming dizzy and whatever I ate gushed out after a few minutes. I went white, really white. I took more than 4 bouts in the toilet just to vomit. I really felt uncomfortable and I didn't quite like the fact that my friends were still waiting for me. I told one of them through SMS, "If you wanna leave, go ahead. Don't wait for me," and they did went off when I came out of the toilet...

I then walked to the bus station and I heard one of my friends running after me, "ALEX!!! Where are you going? You don't have to worry. We won't leave you behind there like that, OK?" So, I went to clinic with all of them there waiting for me. Guess what? The doctor checked my blood pressure and it was only 90/60. HELL that was scary. What happened next was she gave me a file of medicine (10 tablets) for RM20. It was indeed expensive for me! Once I got back from dinner, I puked again before reaching hostel, thus giving a look that I was drunk. HAHA!!!

As I got back here, I felt a lot better. I felt even better after taking my medicine and had a piece of bread and a can of 100+ (as advised by doctor). Then as I realize I could walk, I resumed on washing my clothes and continued talking with my friends all the way till 1am. I was too tired that I could not fall asleep but I slept thenceforth, until I was late for today's dance class.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

I am still alive

I am not dead yet, no worries. Neither am I sick, I am fit. Thank God for that. The stress is building up and I could not find much time to blog about many interesting things that has happened lately, besides tests. Sigh... There is no doubt, I am comparatively busy than status quo (who lay back, relax and study) but I am not complaining. In fact, I am very happy that I fill my time up neatly, besides giving myself ample time to rest too.

So this week, we had our English grammar test and Quantitative Studies (was known as Business Mathematics and Statistics before I came into the college) and I would not say these are easy. I would just say they are... doable. Yeah, doable. Not hard, not easy. If I say easy, I would let people think that I am going to score a perfect score but when I am not, I'll drown in my own pride. This was what my friend here has told me before: If you brag too much, you'll drown in your own pride.

Besides that, my English Coursework 3 is on Tuesday. A role-play. We chose the topic on "Marriage vs Being Single" and I will be a wife who quarrels with my husband every single day until my son is fully distracted from his studies, and being abused by his father. Later in this play shows the divorce of my husband and I which leads to my son's greater depression. That is the shortest summary I could give because I have not put my idea into words just yet.

Actually now I am at home, doing my QS homework, then I'll take my sleep - wake up fresh to do Microeconomics revision before homework (not necessary to be in the morning though)... Then if God allows, Granny and I shall visit my cousin and her kids of course at night after dinner. That's the end of Saturday night. On Sunday I expect myself to laze around before heading back to hostel at noon and wash my clothes, sweep and do other necessary things whenever I feel like doing. Ha, ha.

On Monday, I would have to teach my dance mates (now we're in group of 8; 4 couples that is) about my choreographed Rock and Roll dance for our coming competition in August. Right after that, I would need to discuss my role-play with my group mates (albeit I am not the leader this time, for both dance and role-play). As it ends, I expect my dance mates to come to my hostel and start practicing our steps out of sight (because I don't wish anyone to copy my steps and dance in the competition day). 10 odd minutes of break after the end of dance would be my orchestra practice. I can't wait for the new piece to come! Dinner after that, of course with my hostel gang... Come back from dinner, rest for a few minutes with light chattering with these people and start revising (or do whatever I feel like doing). Oh, that's my Monday. I don't have formal classes on Monday, so it'd be very boring for me if I have nothing to do, right?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

What I did these few days?

Ironic enough, I didn't study although I am having my test next week (Wednesday and Friday).

On Friday, I came home early, around 5pm and went for my aural class on 7.30pm and later ended on 8pm. I then waited for half an hour for my individual guitar lesson to begin which lasted until 9.30pm. Dinner with Granny until 11pm and from thence, I was free. I read a few chapters from Il Principe (The Prince), a medieval political philosophy by Nicollo Macchiaveli, and slept.

On Saturday, I woke up at 11 or so, in the morning and had my kick of coffee and drove to pay for my broadband internet service in Jusco and played a game of pool, alone. Then, I wandered alone to Popular and MPH to find for Romeo and Juliet (a book which I have been hunting for months!) but to no avail. I ended up reading a few articles on a book in Popular, regarding "Hak Ketuanan Melayu" written by a Chinese Muslim man, I forgot his name, though.

After a while, I drove back home and fetched Granny to visit my cousin sister. Talked to them for quite a duration, and then, I took a nap there, while Granny continued chatting with her until I heard baby Anna's loud cry - she accidentally slipped herself and hit her mouth on the floor. Poor girl... But the good part about it was that she was able to vomit out a lot of phlegm that we were shocked to see she has been containing (she was sick earlier)!

After Anna had stopped crying, we both made a move and stopped somewhere in Rasah. I spent RM45 for 3 durians. 2 kampong ones and 1 udang merah. DAMN, I should've bought 2 udang merahs instead. But... it's over, so what now? Live with it. Then I went to Family Store to buy some things to bring back to my hostel, and to bake cake. I was successful in inventing the recipe Orange Chocolate Cake! Granny praised me for it! AWESOME!!! This was inspired with the Chocolate Orange drink which I've bought in Pasar Malam past few weeks. We called it a day after that. It was 9.14pm.

I then spent my time here checking out stuffs and read the final chapters of The Prince and here I am, blogging about my completion. I'm so glad I have finally finished reading this wonderous philosophy!

I'll be going back on Sunday (which is today). Probably around noon, with a friend of mine. Wait for my updates then, alright?

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Apple Tree (Which made me and 2 other friends cried in lecture hall during ME break time)

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow... He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by... the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy. "I am no longer a kid, I don't play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money...but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad. One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?" "Sorry, but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time. Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy. But I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you..." the tree said. "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" "I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything ... the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied. "Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, Come sit down with me and rest." The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears....... This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy.  ***** I agree with this. It brought tears to my eyes every time I think of the moments in the lecture hall. was really a touching story, better than the eraser and pencil, obviously. Yes, I did think the boy as cruel but... I am cruel for acting likewise too, in life. They still are there to forgive me every time I've turned my head away from them and they still love me, although there were some points that my love for them faded a lot, as they were busy to find time to spend with me. To Dad and Mom, I'm sorry that I'm a bitch at times, because I just couldn't hold it anymore and I just had to let my feelings pour out. I'm also sorry that I might sound superficial or sometimes uncaring because of what you've done to me. I do not blame you, nor anyone else. It's just fate and we all can't run from it. As my cousin used to tell me, "Just go with the flow." No point regretting for what you have not done in the past. Nothing could reverse the clock. Carpe Diem.

Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Aural Class Review and another sub-story

Today, I woke up rather groggily for aural class at 9am and prepared myself for it and went for class at 10am. The teacher was good and rather funny too. For now, Grade 2 is a little good on my side. It is easy for the moment. 3 more lessons to go. As for sight reading, I found the problem, at last. It was not the notes, but the tempo that gives me problem. I am prepared to fail this segment. Hope the other sections help me!

Here comes another sub-story. I've to delete one of my many things to do before I die - reunion dinner. Mom said that she didn't see the need for it, although I'd retorted by saying I saw the need of it. Well, she's my Mom. I should respect her and not impose anything anymore.

Now I've come to full realization that divorce DO really kill the children, altogether with their wishes and dreams. Although things seem perfectly normal (like in my case, that is. I am the best living example for you readers); no I should say things ARE normal. There still is a breach somewhere in between. However, I am not really hurt because, maybe I have made my resolution to live my life to the fullest, or I am more matured compared to any others in my age, for things like this? Let God answer for I have yet to know the answer myself.

I am nobody but a body with a fantastic soul.

~AdelWoo

As an advice, I really hope people who read my blog would think a lot of times before marrying your loved ones. Don't ever let your children suffer from what you did wrong in the past. They are innocent little beings. This just doesn't worth the pain in their hearts. Future husbands and wifes, please. Do think twice (or more).

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

Hostel Week 3/Lecture Week 2/Tutorial Week 1

It refers to the same week, just the beginning of time is different. Meh, anyway let's start with HOSTEL. It was only 3 weeks, yes but I am rather surprised how (rather) close all of us are already. To volley what my friend said, "for now you will be with us but once you get your friends, you sure will leave us all again.", well Eric, you're very wrong here, boy. Another friend and I thought the same about what you have told us - We're not like what you think we are. Ha, ha.

In hostel, I see and learn many things. First, sociology. Second, independence. Third, knowledge sharing. Fourth, but it should be the most important; friendship in mediocrity. This, I indeed value very much where there is very much lesser complications compared to my "previous" group where everyone, well... Almost everyone? Yeah, they rather misunderstand me quite a lot. Now I am not saying I am self-righteous. I do have my faults too. We give and take, alright?

Lecture 2, things have gone a little deeper. I still can manage. Tutorial Week 1...
Today my ME tutor had ice-broken us and at the same time, my class rep too has established a tutorial group page for us all. I just found out yesterday that I was the only Seremban kid in the whole class. Me, always a special case. Ha, ha. As for group assignments however, it was only 2 days and now (Mom, listen. Your son) I am already a group leader for 2 coursework projects. I see stress is at bay now, invading my PEACE zone soon enough. Stress, the gates are readily opened for you. Come to me and I shall beat you flat.

Today, on my way home after ME tutorial class, my schedule was delayed 30 minutes (or so) due to heavy downpour. Screw it! I then took bus to Wangsa Maju and from there, LRT to Pasar Seni. As soon as I got down the train, I walked to the desired location of Pudu Raya. Upon doing so, I've asked a few people and there was one Chinese old man who had given me the wrong information which led to to somewhere else and there, I met an Indonesian man. He was such a nice person! He brought me all the way to Pudu Raya and upon reaching, he had asked me to take care of myself. I felt blessed. God heard me; on the way to the "wrong direction" before I met this Indonesian man, I passed by a church and I prayed and He answered. So then, I took a bus from Pudu Raya to Seremban. It was only about 1 hour, which is half the time if I board the train. I called my cousin sister to fetch me and I managed to go for my guitar class on time! As soon as I've finished my guitar class, I went to talk to my music school principal regarding my aural classes - my exam is coming really soon. My sight reading still sucks. SIGH! Oh, I bought new sets of strings too!! Just the right timing for my exam. 1 month for the strings to be stabilized.

I had family dinner after that and right now, here I am. Blogging. Imma sleep soon enough, though. Pretty tired with my journey.

Supplicanti parce, Deus.

PS:
1. Guitar exam is on 21st June - I need to apply for leave from my school office next week.
2. I am having my first aural class tomorrow. Wish me luck!
3. I am skipping tomorrow's IA lecture - that explains why I am in Seremban now when most of 1DAC(C) are still there. Chill guys, it's only double entry. I'm positive.