NUFFY

Thursday, December 30, 2010

OK!

I'm dead. I was whining when I did not get any job, and now I am still whining because I have THREE pending jobs. Today after searching thoroughly in Parkson and The Store with Gopinath and Aruna, we went back to the restaurant in TE and guess what? The boss said she freaking misplaced the forms and thanks for that, we went to find for crappy jobs and now we have to think on how to reject the job offers. Great, isn't it?

Parkson, Promoter RM3.50 per hour for 4 hours.
The Store, Promoter RM3.20 per hour for 4 hours too.

I hate the promoter job in The Store. That lady is being very very inconsiderate because I had to explain to her that I cannot work on Mondays because I have guitar classes on that freaking day. Anyway, she's a totally racist. She charged me RM3.20 per hour because I am a Chinese, if I wasn't... I'm going to be charged at RM3.00 per hour. I really hated her when she said that but I had to put up a smile since I was so freaking desperate for a job that moment!

Then we went to Parkson and this lady was so friendly and sweet! I have to call her up tomorrow morning and say I already have a job now and explained about the whole restaurant conflict which brought me to them at the first place. Or maybe I should just call these people tomorrow and explain the "truth".

We got a call from a restaurant which we went for much earlier than these places yesterday after going to these places. I am not going to mind whatever vulgarities I am about to hear tomorrow, I am just glad I am finally hired in the restaurant! This is just too epic to be true. My hopes are up again, to pay for my guitar fee! Although I still have to withdraw my own money some days later to pay it first, as it would be impossible for them to pay my salary by 17/1/2010!

GOD BLESS US!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Crisis

Guitar strings are becoming... old, sounds are no longer so clear.
Piggy bank holds no more penny.
New year is coming.
Allowance is not arriving yet.
Guitar exam fee deadline is coming too.



I'm broke and dead. Would I have to ask dad to pay for my guitar fee? Should I ask him? No, I don't think I should.

To whom it may concern (and a small dream)

I'm losing hope towards that restaurant now. She's really super mean for giving us high hopes by asking and explaining so many things in a go. I'm just going  to give another 24 hours for them and for myself. If it fails, I'm through with this.

It's really so mean of them for doing this to us, you know? Explaining about the salary, asking when can we start working and wait for their call. Who they think they are? It's so... devastating that today's the first time that I am putting my phone on Loud mode whole day through, afraid that the lady might call any hour, any minute or any second. I was stupid enough to believe that we're getting hired soon.

***

Last night, I'd dreamt of Jacob Black on my bed, lying down with me. No sex intended. I really had my head spinning thinking about that and now I'm sort of... I dunno what I am feeling. I'm falling for a stupid movie character? How ironic! Perhaps I was thinking about Eclipse way too much before I sleep. Today I'm pacing forward the last of the saga: Breaking Dawn!

Alex, wake up! It's just a stupid dream. Gosh!

I have to admit there are many weird things happened these few days. The breach in connection between me and Mom, due to our busy lives. The breach in connection between me and Dad because I simply have nothing to say to him. The breach in connection between me and the world because I'm too much of my own. Worst still, the breach in connection between me and my soul.

I really dunno. Am I still sane? Many things have changed. I've moved on from a lot of things, that now I don't really seem to care of anything about those I've moved on from.

I'm already gone.


Now, I'll always bear in mind that I should not be too happy when something is too close but yet still far to reach. Yes, I'm taunting myself with my quote on the right panel: Isn't what is there, is there and what is not there, is there too?

I'm succumbing to my devastation. I'm giving up. For real. I'm sorry, guys.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Work Interview #4

Yes people, I have been rejected by 2 companies and 1 restaurant. Though I admit I was a little too bold trying out companies at THIS early age of my life. Anyway, that Spanish restaurant didn't return the call back to me, which I feel really stupid after wasting my time doing some crap, debating with my mom, well I guess she's more than happy that I am not working there now. Right, Mom?

This was the conversation between Aruna, Gopinath and I this morning.
To: Gopinath
Hey man, I'm done with my crap here. So, I'll fetch you around 11am, ok?

From: Gopinath
Can we make it on 12pm? I just got up and I have to do some things. If not, I'd have done it early. Is 12pm ok?

To: Gopinath
11.30am, then. See you there!

To: Aruna
Hey, Gopi has just woke up too. We'll make it on 11.30am then. But I'll fetch you about 11am. Longer time to talk about... :)

From: Aruna
So, you'll fetch me around 11am?

When we all have reached Tesco Extra, we first tried applying to work INSIDE TE, but apparently we can't do that because we're not of age yet. They will not be responsible for any calamities in workplace and stuffs. When they said about SOCSO I knew there and then that it was impossible to debate any further.

However, we started walking in TE and we realised that it was a lot as cool as Jusco! Really nice place, TE. I've never expected THAT to come from... Never mind. And so we had some job hunt on some areas and came about a booth selling fruit which needed a girl worker and so we asked Aruna to try it out but this was what happened:

Girl: Yes, welcome. Come try on some of these. We have testers.
Gopi: No, she (pointed at Aruna) wants to find a job.
Girl: Oh so all these have just finished SPM, no?
Me: You too? So meaning to say that all of us here have just finished SPM. Cool!
Girl: If you want to find a job, try SeeU here (pointed behind her booth). It has newly opened. I think you can find a job there. The boss is a Chinese. A very nice person, I'd say.
Aruna: (Looked at me) Wanna give it a shot?
Me: Well, ok.
Gopi: Thanks! (To the girl)

Here I had dilemma to go or not to go because it was all very messy but because of the both of them, we went in and filled the form. The boss interviewed us on the spot. Impromptu volley. I was the first to go. I was explained about the salary, systems and working hours which was really really a good place to start. Here I learn new things too, albeit the far distance from home, but who cares now?

That was basically it. My fourth round of job hunting. I really hope I could get it there! Guitar exam fee, I finally can afford you. Although not confirmed we're pretty much confident we would get it. Let's just pray for the best.

Special thanks to: 
The anonymous girl who suggested us to try it out
Lionel who said, "only this and you're giving up so fast?" when I said I'm off with the job hunting crap
Gopinath and Aruna for forcing me to go in there. You guys are simply awesome!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Xmas

24th December 2010:
Went for midnight mass in Church of Visitation and got home around 2am. Gloria's family (her mom and brother) and Keevin was with me during the duration. I've learnt a lot from the mass, although about 95% I heard that night, I have forgotten. I dunno why I could not focus. I forgot all the prayers too. All I remembered was I almost cried when the prayer comes to this, "as for the elderly..." I just felt so sad of my neighbour's fate. She was sort of chased out from her son's house, you see. I really couldn't control my emotion then. If Gloria, Keevin, Francine and Adeline was not there, I would have cried and made a big issue in the church.

25th December 2010:
Got up at 11.45am and got ready to go to Francine's house for Christmas lunch. I spent half of my day there, until 6.30pm. We ate little and gossiped a lot. That's us. I was too tired and I slept at 8.30pm and woke up at 11pm. Such an anti-climax for me! Now I could not sleep at all.

26th December 2010:
Christmas has ended. The priest in the church during the gospel was right.
"[...]It would be so simple for us to wish strangers Merry Christmas on Christmas but so hard for us to smile at them in other days[...] That was what Charles Dickens said before this, 'I honour Christmas in my heart and keep it all year through'[...] God has given his only begotten son, Jesus Christ to us as a gift and we shall give gifts to people, let the gift be small, invaluable or even insignificant... (I can't really recall this line. I hope I don't offend anyone here) [...] That is why we should not make God's gift to us as a forgotten son, but a begotten son."

Friday, December 24, 2010

Ekam Eveileb

Yes, I do believe in Santa, Rudolph and miracles God could do. Merry Christmas, people :)

Jobs

Why on earth is it so hard for me to get a job*?

I tried contacting La Esquina manager, no replies whatsoever. So now... I'm back to square one, of nothingness. Actually it has been this way all along. Wonderful isn't it? Later I am planning to ask for a job in tuition centres. I hope I can get it there. Time is running out for me to pay that exam fee. My principle still stands! I am not going to use anyone's money to pay for it!

*Job: I want new experiences. Working with the same company as I did 2 years ago, doesn't worth the experience. OK, I guess I am still too picky about this. I dunno.

You know what? Whatever. It's my life. GAHH!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Mystery

It's again a world of wonder. I did mention that I didn't wanna care for whoever-I-am-referring-to's business anymore and yet still reading up about her?

Come on Alex. Are you telling me you are still hanging on?

Yes it was inevitable that things were funny when we were together, as in... friends, that sort of stuffs, I mean... but somehow it was us who chose this route. I think I should just be happy and move on, and stop thinking about this anymore. Just like how I let my ex go and look, she's happy, with a new guy. See! I can do it!

Things will be fine, Alex. Trust me.

Let's get this over with
.
.
.
.
I'm gay
.
.
.
.
.
.
Funny!

News

There are about 2 things in particular that turned my day from :) to :(

First:

Am not concerned about the backgrounds; just that at your young age to be exposed to such kind of surroundings would surely influence your future outlook …. Taking into consideration that such is the life style of rich yuppies!!

Am awaiting for my HR dept for update of any temporary works around here…. Apparently N/A in S’ban – will keep you posted of any development


A mail reply from mom saying that La Esquina is a place for rich yuppies. Yes people, Loi&Co rejected me, perhaps I am too young for that and stuffs. So then I turned up into this restaurant which (doubtlessly) I have dined in nights ago. The pay is pretty good, RM4 per hour. I get to work in a new environment and I have to work as a part-time waiter from 7pm to 2am the next day. I do understand a mother's feelings about this. Ironically, Granny has given green light for me and she did ask me to try and if it really is no good, I can resign. [Case closed] And now a new case is opened: Mom's issue about worrying that my "future outlook" will be influenced.

Seriously, is it so hard to even find a work just to pay up for my guitar examination? I am not asking much. All I know I have yet to go against my own principles.

1. No drugs
2. No baddies
2.1. Any baddies as my friends, I've kept my distance when I am with them
3. No smoking
4. Slight drinking of wine and only wine. I've had it with liquor when I took a few sip from Dad's cup. HORRIBLE TASTE!
5. I'm still who I am

I know things are not going to be easy. At least I am NOT a drug mule to get thousands in days time, am I? I work the hard way. I don't wanna work in Family Store anymore because I've worked there before and I know how it is like in there already.

Sigh, how I just wish I can be the spoilt brat to throw tantrums at everyone in the family and get free money in turn. Gay too much? I doubt I can be like that, despite the fact that I am one myself.

Second:
I can't believe how a friend that once said, "It's okay, I'll be there for you when you need me" ditched my clique! Although it was not so painstakingly painful for me as I was not so close to this friend, I still... Sigh. We were really really shocked about what this friend had done to us. We've tried calling her, texting her and we get... Zilch. No replies, no nothing.

Due to these things, I somehow feel depressed and dramatic as though the wind is asking me to die. (To music lovers, I can give you one piece to describe how I feel now: Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in Em, movement 1)

Thanks to Blogspot and Facebook, as I was writing about this, I somehow feel better already.

I wish for a better tomorrow, a better job search, a better... better.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Exam fee!

GOOD HEAVENS! I have checked with my teacher, the exam fee is RM268 (excluding aural, scale book and exam book yet!). Bad news, I have to pay up latest by 17/1/2011. I now declare Alexander Ooi is NOT going to spend any more money until he has finished paying for his examination. Damn it! Lucky thing that all 3 pieces I am about to learn is pretty easy! I was relieved for a moment!

I really hope so much that I will get hired in Loi&Co. I got their reply today, asking about:
"Have you just completed your SPM? Have you taken any taxation or audit papers before?"

I answered honestly with 2 long paragraphs of essay which I honestly hope it will not bore them much. You see, 2 questions, 2 paragraphs. Simple mathematics!

If I really get hired, I'd be Malaysian's youngest and luckiest accountant wannabe that has ever lived! PLEASE let this be good!
"Father, let Your will be done."

Dinner

Tonight, I had dinner with Granny in Kensington. Let's start with the design first, shall we?

Design: Western. Simple motives all over. Some cotton decorations with Christmas theme on walls. Classic table linen and chair covers. Music is not too loud nor too soft, suitable for family dinner. Temperature is neither too hot nor cold. Just nice. If it was pasta, I'd say al dente! Toilet is clean too. 5/5

Service: Poor English (well, I can't avoid that, can I?) but they were very polite. Always with smiles on their faces. They are very efficient indeed when it comes to my non-satisfaction of Sauvignon Blanc served at room temperature as the flavour and smell was pretty much awful that I thought it was already opened for days! Then the manager explained to me that it is SUPPOSED to be served chilled but mine was not, since there are no more chilled SB. After my complain, he offered, "Sir, do you like it chilled?" and after 10 odd minutes, he brought some of the chilled SB to me and asked again, "Sir, would you mind trying this?" When I said it was OK, he replied, "Sir, I will top up for you when you finished this," again with a smile. As for the brouhaha, 4/5.

Dish: Granny and I tried on Starter B (with tempura prawns, garlic breads and spring rolls) with addition of fried prawns with salt and peppercorn (as recommended by the waitress to compliment my wine). They had made a little mistake by serving us the prawns before the starter. Isn't it supposed to be starter first, or am I the one self-righteous here. If so, I am sorry. For the dish, I'd say 4.5/5. There are surely some rooms for improvement.

Price: Table for two, it only cost RM66.70 which was very cheap indeed. Free and refillable lukewarm water. Nice food. Nice environment. Taxation of ONLY 5% of service charge and NO government tax, I was indeed shocked about it!

Overall, 4/5. Good job, Kensington. It was pleasant to be there tonight.

PS: I thought of trying red wine tonight, since I've tried on white wine the other night already but I felt it didn't worth the money I pay for, though only RM18 per glass because the red wine (apparently they only serve Merlot in glasses) was produced in 2009, compared to my Blanc, 2005. That was by far the oldest wine I've tasted to far.

CONCLUSION
With Mom, Yen and Granny: Kensington
With Dad: La Esquina

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Wonders

I really wonder can I do it.
Do what?
Guitar examination next year March.

Though it's only Grade 2. I didn't dare to tell my grandmother about how much I have to pay and stuffs. LUCKY me, I am finding job in accounting firms in Oakland Commerce Square! I really hope I can go to Loi&Co to gain some experience. I sent my CV to them via email already last night (twice! I accidentally hit the SEND button when my CV was not finalized by Dad. Then on the second mail, I apologized to them saying it was not rectified yet. I hope it won't give any bad impressions to my employer).

I am going to use this money I am earning, together with my monthly allowance to pay for my guitar fees, exam fees and perhaps, dance class? The dance class thing is just a plan.

This is it:
After guitar exam grade 2, I plan to take dance class and guitar class on alternate months. I hope my guitar academy principal allows this, although he is a nice man, we never knew what future holds for us, would we?

So, back to my guitar examination doubts... Maybe I should continue reading bible to (re)gain faith in God. My skills are still honestly crappy because my speed and accuracy is really really poor when it comes to fast-tempi pieces. If at all I get a terribly fast piece with many chromatic signs (sharps and flats) in any of my 3 exam pieces. I'm fucked by life, again. Not forgetting scales and aural. And Theory of Music, I have yet to take. I have to take TOM up to Grade 5 to continue my guitar practical all the way up to where I want. Well, I guess I'll worry about that later.

A stern warning to people who tries to discourage me (I think Mom would be on top of the list):
Don't you even think of it. I will worry about it myself and I know where to stop. I know I have to take care of my lodging, food, fuel and many other stuffs. But you know what? I will manage it just as how you have managed it so far as a parent. I'll gain knowledge from you when the time comes. Trust me. I can.

I do believe in miracle as it is a part of God's wonderful work!

Flying Solo

Yesterday about 8.40pm, I was clueless on where to eat and decided to hunt for food further than status quo. About then I texted Lionel whether would he mind to tag along because I was bored to eat alone. I always am.

Then in the end, he replied to my message at 9.11pm saying he was in KL. So then I ventured to Era Walk alone and I found a good place: La Esquina. I am so gonna bring Dad here when he comes back next year, if I am still around. The setting is of a romantic Spanish style with dim lightings and soothing songs (but that was a little bit too loud) and some Christmas carols.

I ordered grilled fish and a glass of white wine, since I wanted to try on whites, as I never had. The waiter suggested me to complement that with a fish dish, choice of grill or fried. The wine was very nice. Mellow and sweet. I even guessed the production year correctly by the colour and taste when I asked to take a look at the bottle.

I also ordered sky juice which apparently to be free (I was very shocked about this!) to clear my mouth on every sip of wine I take. "That's the correct way to drink wine," Dad told me last month when I dined with him.

At long last, my fish had come out from the kitchen and I was a little disappointed that the fish was a little hard. It didn't smell and taste like it was grilled at all. I guessed it was baked instead, as the water content in the fish is nearly zero. However, the vegetables, lemon juice and cream saved the fish from my complaints. I sat there for about 2 hours, enjoying wine, music, fish and football there alone. It was only RM43.70 with the tax and charge.

"Once in a while, is fine but not every while," that's my motto for food hunting.

Tomorrow: Kensington in Era Square. Dinner with Granny. Dad's order. =]

Friday, December 17, 2010

Graduation Night

I was out from house since 9.15am, yesterday. Going for my dance practice and finally... We had to call it off because my partner was not feeling well to play on with the show. As a result of that, we (Mohana and I) as the emcees, had to change a lot of the script last minute and I was very grateful that everything ran rather smooth! Although there were zillions of (unbearable and embarrassing) mistakes during the time.

Let's get back to the time frame. I was roaming around with my car after my teacher said she was busy in school and would not be able to come for the practice. Yes, one teacher would be my partner. That was already 10.40am. So, I drove to Royale Bintang and I reached there around 11.30am. I waited for Mohana to come and then... we started rehearsing our script all over and over again. Trust me, if we didn't, it's gonna suck EVEN more!

After everything was done, I took the room key from teacher and rested there from 2.40pm till 5pm. I was so lucky to have the changing room for myself first! Everything was simply amazing in the room when I was alone.

At 5pm, Mohana and I were again going through the hectic script and at long last, 5.45pm, I went up to change to my professional suit. We ran the whole program, we literally run everywhere to get things done. Basically the both of us, could have been dead on that night! I was very happy when Mohana and I said, SIGNING OFF. That ends the work of the running around and stuffs. No more pretenses and slang. No more running. I could rest, finally! That was already about 12.30am.

I think what I wanna say here is more than enough as I am sure everyone has Facebook and most of you are my friends, as well as most of you attended the wonderful night.

I am not going to touch about how nice the night was, or how everyone else was enjoying their night. This post, is more to my personal message and feeling on that night. Perhaps you'd want to read their blogs after reading mine to get the picture of it?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Life and Friendship

Friendship's new definition: A game of football (or the Americans call them soccer).

Why: Topic is like the ball. Would they really care for the players much or just the ball when people get them? Everyone is looking at the ball, THEN the player. When the ball is not there anymore, would people still look at them?

How: Friends are not to stay. I don't say ALL because the premise of: ALL friends are not to stay, is false. I'd go for SOME. Well I just have to learn not to hurt people's feelings as well as feel REALLY sorrowful for what I have done wrong.

Last night, my friends and I had a little fight. Out of the blue, this stupendous person writing this post now, told another friend about something which was OUT of the topic. Coming to think of that, I really feel like wearing shades or just lock myself in the house for the rest of my life. I was embarrassed by my own actions. I went against my... principles.

You see, when I got angry over things, words just pour out without me thinking twice and I thought I told someone that I... trusted? Seriously, the words: Trustworthiness, BEST friends and any other words which have close proximity to these two, disgust me. I'm not the person who'd go round laughing with the same clique if I find them fake.

Life equations and inequalities:

0 £ close friends £ 20

0 £ true friends £ 20

Plastic friends = n(close friends U true friends)'
Life = Ups + Downs + Tears. . . (d= circumstances)
Life ³ Sucks + Rocks

Clichéd much? That's life. ;D

PS: If you wonder what are all these about, then this is not suitable for you people. It's about arithmetic progression, linear inequalities, sets, basically... It's about Mathematics.

PSS: Now I'll learn to choose my friends wisely.

To whom it may be concerned: I have lost my faith to you. They're right, you don't worth my love for you as my friendship.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

BBQ at Louisa's

After my dance class at 12pm, I got home and grabbed money and bought a dye. Yeah people. I dyed my hair for prom. This better be good. However, I'm planning to meet my hairstylist to repair my unequal distributions with her magical scissors so that it looks less unequal. So, let's get back to the topic, shall we?

At 5pm, I drove to Louisa's house and helped her with stuffs to prepare for BBQ later tonight, well... Just a little. We ended up in her theater room after a while to watch Step Up 3 (Ahmad saw me and he called me a redhead. Ha, ha)

At about 7.30pm I drove around with Aruna, Shan and Chew in the car to hunt for marshmallows. We ended up buying Mama Roti in Econsafe since they didn't have marshmallows. We were all dead fungry already that time. Then we went to Carrefour (which was not far from that area), bought 4 packs of marshmallows and we sped up into my car (passers-by would've thought we stole their products there!) and we drove back to Louisa's house and the party starts.

We did some discussions about our gang trip to Sunway next Saturday too. It seems that RM150 is more than enough. It'd be great then! Yippe!

When it was about to end, Chew, Shan and I were resting on the hall, 3 of us only, took turns to try on Osim. That was really orgasmically epic! I'm serious!!!!!!!!!! NO JOKE, PEOPLE. I felt so nice after that 15-minutes massage.

Then at 11.30pm when I was on the way back home, there was roadblock. Gosh, that was my first block and I was being so freaked out! Lucky hell Ahmad was there with me (together with 3 other friends behind) and he asked me to chill. So we wound down the window and asked, "Yes sir? How may I help?" He peeked trough with a quick scan and said, "You may leave". I said, "Thank you sir. Good night," and left.

I held Ahmad's hand for a while there as I drove slowly to drop one of my friends down. I really felt grateful for he being there with us just now. If he didn't ask me to chill, I would've panicked and the cops might've thought I actually did something WRONG!

As a conclusion, tonight is another memorable moment with my friends.

Edit 12/12/2010: I went to my hairdresser and she did hair spa on me together with the leftover dyes, NOW I look so much better! Guess how much is it?

It's only RM3.00 folks!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Goodbye already?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

Exam's over! Yay? I dunno. I feel empty. One moment I'm so fresh, fat and cute in form 1 where all seniors will pinch my cheeks and stuffs, one moment I'm form 5. One moment of truth where SPM is here and the next? I'm free already?

Am I really free? I feel empty without my routines. VERY empty, indeed. Perhaps today I'll just...
1. Pack my books to return to SPBT on 15th December (Text Book Loan Scheme)
2. Finish my third book of Twilight Saga. Is it Eclipse, New Moon or... Whatever. I forgot what I've read, but I still have the pictures in my head, I hope. I don't wanna re-read the whole saga!
3. Continue on with the finale of Twilight Saga and then read The Gift
4. Practice guitar and dance
5. Do I have to clean my room? Pfft!

I have 7 long and boring months ahead of me now! My plan for that WOULD be:
1. Try writing with left hand
2. Read Art of War (by Sun Tzu)
3. How about... Iliad and Odyssey? They have it in the library. I dunno.

So yeah... I think I'm very much occupied. I hope. But... I love Science. Argh, whatever. I won't understand Science if I read it alone without any teachers. I'm not pursuing Science. Well, maybe I will after I retire. Bahh! I'm talking nonsense, pardon me.

=/

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Is this my life?

I told my Gran that I was simply planning to stay there for one night with my friends after Graduation Night on the 16th December, last night. The effect? I was bombarded with issues and I just told her a concluding statement: "Let's not talk about this anymore" and I went listening to Paramore songs to chill my nerves down. At least it's better than me shouting or whatsoever. She didn't like that too.

She does not understand my bloody problem and started bombarding me with dozens of issues,
"I am not gonna pay your rents for that night"
"Do you have money?"
"You have to start saving up for college already"

Frankly, I am just so bored with this that next time, I really am NEVER EVER FOREVER telling her my plans. If she asks, I'm just going to say, "I'm afraid you will start scolding me and raising up issues again."

The problem is that I have pretty bad night blindness, hell it'd be worse if I am not wearing my specs. Anyway, with or without, night blindness is still pronounced. Just what if I drive to Royale Bintang at 3pm (since I am the committee member, I have to be there early) and will be running here and there like mad cow with other members of the programme. Besides that, I will have to run the show from evening till midnight! I am the emcee. I know when I am tired, I can't drive. So I planned to sleep there for a night with my friends, so we all pay lesser.

Now it always seem to me that Mom is doing huge business all over the world and could not be there for me when I needed her. My Dad? Don't mention. He's always asking me to "take it easy" without resolving it. I have no one now. Wow.

Let's just pray I won't die of accident, shall we? I'm so sick of continuing this issue anymore. Is this really my life?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Mummy, Happy Belated Birthday

Last Wednesday was my (class teacher/Add Maths teacher/Modern Maths teacher/Mummy)'s birthday and I did a bookmark for her from a congratulations card. Here it is::

From a card, I cut out the motive, pasted on the other side of the card. The A4 paper was for the back design.
Since she's an AM teacher too, I designed this in a way she would understand. For those without clues, Love=tan90 means love is infinity. Following are the solutions and the decoded message.
End product, front and back. Written in red ink, "Algoritma untuk Bonda" means, "Algorithm for Mummy". I felt that Malay phrase is very catchy and classic myself. I hope she likes it since she likes reading as much as I do too. Happy B'day again, teacher! Whee!


Monday, November 29, 2010

Guitarliszt dilemma

I'm just gonna post it right here and let you guys read. My dilemma is more than pronounced. Mom, don't raise this issue up to ANYONE in the globe, dead or alive. Keep it as our secret. Thanks. Don't mention about this to me too. I'll think of what I can do. Maybe miracles happen along the way.

Newborn: Guitarliszt tag. Guitar and Franz Liszt are sort of one in me. I'm too much in love with his Hungrarian Rhapsody #2, that's why.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Bloody frustrated

You know what, people? Yesterday I was just telling my Gran about me wanting to pick up violin if I had the chance and this was what I get today, all of a sudden that she's just blurted that damned thing out.

Her: You better buy that violin and then you won't use it anymore. Your dad can't afford everything that you may want.
Me: Did I say that I wanna use your money at any extend? I know what I am doing and I didn't say that I want to learn it right now, did I?

(Alex, the inner me: It was just a bloody plan! Say I wanna buy a palace or learn cello. Is it a compulsory act that I must buy them? Don't your son has weird wishes too? He's worse than me, alright?! At least I don't take things that are not mine! I earn what I do!)

Her: That's the only thing that you know how to say nowadays. How are you gonna get all that money?
Me: I'll do it when I have it. It's not a haste that I WANT violin so badly now!

(Alex: OK, so you're implying that I can't even have my own damned dreams too is it? Why on earth is everyone stopping my dreams?! Mom on the other hand keeps on telling Gran that she couldn't help a single bit due to her financial problems and stuffs. PEOPLE WAKE UP! I don't need your sympathy to survive. I am well off on my own feet and have I really asked you for money before, Mom? Even if I do, I paid you back, remember? In fact, I have never talked anything about money to you, or to Gran, or to anyone in the damned world. I know I am living in reality! I'm so damned fed up of this idea whereby you all think that I really need your money to buy my stuffs. Look, it's Dad's and Gran's must to nurture me and stuffs. It is their responsibility! But otherwise, I bought a new guitar with my own money. I know when to spend and when to safe, people. Damn it. Everyone of my family should just read this)

---------------------------------
The moral of the story is, I will never ever tell whoever in my family about any of my plans any-damned-more. If any of them ever blames me for this, I'm just going to tell them, "Besides criticizing my actions, any other suggestions you have? You didn't even listen to me, remember?"

That's it. Mom, I know you're reading this. And I am still mad at the whole ideology that I NEED everyone's money to survive. Money's such a damned spoiler. Call me as soon as you read this! Get me thinking rationally about this damned brouhaha everyone in the family is making. Gahh!

Stairway to Heaven

Everything happens for a reason

Sorry for the chronological glitch here. I should've posted this on the 22nd November, but due to the exam and stuffs, so yeah. Here we go. This is my inner voice, reminiscing the day from morning till the moment he left me (again).

22/11/2010
(Morning)
Dad's leaving today. Finally. Thank God that I was patient throughout the whole month! He'll be leaving home at 3.30pm, apparently he wants to take Granny for a walk in KLIA. I chose not to follow. I didn't wanna cry. I DON'T want to cry for him, anymore. I'm just so sick of it. I might as well study History with my friends. It's just another goodbye that will scar me deep, again. Well, his presence here for a month scars me too. I just don't wanna be scarred twice, that's all. My cousin sister's right. It's a sin to hate my parents, but it's my feelings that not I who created it. It's him (or they) who made up my mindset. I believe that Dad, Mom and I have parts to play in this game. It's always been this way, no?

(Noon)
I decided to go and call off that study plan with my friends. When informed, my friend replied to my message, "good decision". Guess, I'm just gonna make full use out of this, eh? As usual, in my life, I've always make full use outta everything. Nothing comes free, people. So the time has come (my cousin brother-in-law with his wife, my cousin sister and his 2 babies have finally arrived and we set off to KLIA) and I took only Guylian Belgian Chocolates as my food supply. I was already hungry on the way there.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
WOOHOO! Finally, I can start my food-hunting! Let's see what do we have in here?
(half hour later)
MAN! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS McD?! I've been hunting for this for half hour already and I can see stars already. Wait, let's just ask the man over there. He should know, he works here!
Me: Excuse me sir. May I know where is McDonald's please?
Sir: You go straight to the end, and turn left.
Me: Thank you so much, sir (I'M ALREADY VERY FAMISHED!!!)
----------------------------------------------------------------
I'm finally here! YEEHAA! People, beware of piglet Alex! He's ordering 2 sets of McChicken Supreme. Good Lord the feeling was sensationally epic! It's been long since I've felt that way, although I always eat like a piglet.
----------------------------------------------------------------
So, here it is, camwhore time with dad. Only a few pictures, so I wouldn't really say camwhore. I was not in the picture because I didn't wanna attach myself with him for that period of time. I feel harder for me to let go of him.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Goodbye, dad. No, I also chose not to hug him. He knew that too. He just came over to me and tapped my shoulder with some advises that I already know, "Study hard, good luck in your SPM."
#The end of KLIA story#


27/11/2010 (2.13am)
I know it's insane for me to sleep so late but yeah. I've finished my first box of Guylian's today and I sneaked down to open a box of Laima Gold Edition Latvian Choc. GOSH!!!!!!!!! Even the box smells so damn good. As I opened the box, I found out that the chocolates were like so few! How sad?! But anyway I took a piece of Serenade (because apparently it has 3 designs of chocolate bars in this box) and bloody Mary! The taste is like... Heaven. I can see the heaven (about picture attached above? That's the purpose of me attaching it. It's a visual stimulation). I was supposed to sleep after that but I got too excited that I have to blog about this. OK, good night people. I really am sleeping now!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Exam aku!

Yeah, sorry la. I tiba-tiba terasa nak merojakkan blog aku ni (akibat pengaruh seseorang, bagi yang berkenaan, tau tau je la eh?) Hari ni, sejarah. Kertas yang aku palinglah tak ber-confident nak face. Paper 1 aku, dikira eloklah. Aku buat punya buat and finished in like 10 minutes. Pastu aku shade sini, shade sana. Dah habis shading, berdebat sorang-sorang about jawapan pilihan aku. Dah kira terror tu, aku pergi tandas. In the midst of the exam, dah ramai budak keluar dewan nak baca sejarah untuk kertas dua, kononnya dengan bantuan tips...

Bila dah balik ke tempat duduk aku, nampak pulak Francine submit kertas dia. Apa lagi? Aku pun ikut saje la. I still had 15 minutes prior to the paper's duration. Who cares? Dah habis debat kali kedua, aku cek sekali lagi, lepas tu, hantarkan kertas objektif aku tu.

Pergi canteen, baca sejarah dengan gang aku and time masuk dewan. Aku berdoa 2 kali untuk dapatkan keyakinan aku balik. Bila dah habis tu, maka pun bukalah kertas soalan tu dengan penuh ketakutan. Tapi entah apesal aku rasa syok jawab soalan-soalan tu. Walaupun apa yang aku main gasak tu, tak pasti betul salahnya. Pastu dah habis, aku pun drive balik rumah, dengan harapan yang aku bagitau nenek aku, mungkin A- la...

Siap semuanya, dengan makan aku macam babi 3 zaman, aku pun online kat Facebook. Pastu dapat pula jawapan untuk paper 1 Sejarah, kawan hantarkan. Aku tick sampai soalan akhir... Result is...... (Jeng jeng jeng) 39/40!

Yeah, ini memang kali pertama aku dapat markah setinggi ni. Let's hope I can get A for it, man! BM and BI were pretty good la. Soalan novel untuk BM tu, aku dapat kepuasan emosi menjawabnya. BI pun ok je la... Boleh dapat A kot untuk 3 subjek ni... Let's pray for it. =)

PS: I somehow find it surprisingly nice to write in this style now. Hmm... Perhaps... Meh, I'm still with my style of British English. This is just a trial-and-error style. So, till then, bye~

PSS: It's Maths on Monday, Moral on Tuesday. Let's do it, babe!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

THIS IS IT!

My first SPM paper. 8.00am. Just dropping by to update you people about the things happened yesterday.

1. Dad left. I did not cry. I stopped myself from crying. THIS, I really have to thank every single deity in the world for my over-extended patience and courage. My perception towards him will change, once he's changed. The 'hatred' will not last long, I hope.

2. While waiting for dad's flight in KLIA, I've gobbled up 2 McChicken Supreme burgers and the feeling was epic!

3. OK, NOW I'm gonna do some final reading to get everything geared up and off I'll go. Love you guys!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Gratitude

Thanks to my friends who were online last night, they've all made my day. Thanks, guys. Love you all. =)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A friend and 11 years of reflection

He's helped me (indirectly) by accompanying me to dinner tonight. I didn't wanna stay at home, just by staring at one of my member's face. It just hurts so much when I'd have to talk to him. I skipped dinner at home, and called a friend out, although he looked pretty reluctant and didn't wanna waste unnecessary money. I've to thank him dearly, although he isn't so close to me. Well... To be frank, he's not close to me at all. But he was there. This was what I wrote to him:

"I've been battling not to cry this whole day. It just sucks. At least you've accompanied me a while there. Thanks."

So yeah, this morning I'd to wake up extremely early to pay a visit to my grandfather's cemetery. I was silent the whole trip there, listening to my MP3, pretending to sleep because Gran has given me a fore warning about not to talk too much because just another person in my family member is very bossy towards me indeed. I just didn't like the fact that I've to talk to him and he couldn't accept the way I already am and he lashes at me and stuffs. Well, not exactly shouting at me, he just tells out his unsatisfactory towards me like what has happened yesterday, "I was just keeping quiet when you wanted that wallet. I knew it somehow you will not find it good. I just kept quiet because you're very sensitive nowadays."

When we reached there, my grandfather's cemetery I couldn't help but cry. I felt feeble and sorry for I was not able to visit his grave for nearly 2 years. I controlled my tears and successfully, I did. I remained silent, hiding in my room when I got home and basically, I just want to avoid that person as much as I could, before lashing out on him.

I know Mom and Gran would certainly go against the idea of me retaliating him somehow or rather, as it's a sin too.

"Parents are the children's living Buddhas, respect them."

Yes it is not to say I am not respecting them. I just somehow find that their presence... doesn't mean much in my life. I do respect them. I do love them. But I doubt if there were anything beyond that point. At least, I am trying my very best to be filial to them, am I not? It's just that I couldn't find a way to make them significant to me. My friends tried giving suggestions but I told them this instead (even to Gran): "Without my parents, I'd still survive. Without my grandparents, I doubt I'll still be alive until today."

Well, seriously I couldn't be blaming them as Mom on one side, is not my official guardian, as I've chosen when I was there for the hearing when I was six, "Choose either Mom or Dad. Explain why." Yeah, it sounded like an essay question to me now. An argumentative one, I'd say. I still remember this petty dialogue between the solicitor and I. Not only that, I still remember very much where we were sitting, defendant (me) on the right side and plaintiff (Mom) on the left side. Soon, one by one of us were called into a room where the solicitor was with his secretary at his left.

Solicitor: Why would you decide to stay with your father, not your mom?
I: Because there is an air-cond in my house, my father, my grandparents.
Solicitor: Well would you change your mind if your Mom's place has air-cond?
I: No.
Solicitor: Why is that?
I: Because I like my place. I am not used to the place over there.

And soon enough, after the procedure has been through and verdict was announced, I won the case. No, I wouldn't say that I won it because I didn't open the case. I should say Mom has lost the case. I was so happy that time when the secretary congratulated us (Grandpa, Dad and I) that I I'd grabbed and shook her hand very hard. That was it, and my life was normal...

Things changed. Grandpa died, Dad left. So I'm left alone with Gran. Things were difficult yes, but I do prefer it that way than with... Dad being here with us, even for a month. I just didn't like it where the status quo's being threatened and stuffs like that.

Since these crappy things took their tolls, I was wondering, "what in the world would happen had I chosen Mom instead? Meh, it wouldn't mean much anyway. I still am not accepted by most of them there. If I'd die choosing both, I'd rather die with my Granny."

I think that I should end this post here, and now. I don't wanna cloud myself on this sadness anymore. Till then, I hope that I would write about something happy soon.

PS: Dear Lord, I thank You so much for giving me Your strength and courage in order for me to battle through this very day. Amitabha, Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

HOLY EPIC!

1. Dad drove me to school. I heard Overture to the Light Calvary by Von Suppe. I was air-orchestrating throughout the whole overture. The aura was so awe-inspiring! IF any of you ever loved classical pieces, I recommend you to hear this piece as a kick-start. Give yourself 10 minutes, close your eyes and enjoy the music.

2. In school, the counselor said, "Alright, all these students are required to go to the lecture room as soon as the assembly ends as the principal would wish to meet all of you. For those who gets excellent results for trials this time." After a long while, then my name was called. I was surprised why I was not called earlier, as I got 8th in form. But Aruna told us that she saw one of our teachers having the same list. It seemed that they sort us out according to number of Distinctions we have, A+.

3. In the lecture room, our principal was talking with a very different tone which I just had to hear all his words. His main advise to all 45 of us was, "Don't lose focus" and he used the analogy of a marathon runner. At intervals, Francine and I gazed at each other and whispered things like, "I can't believe we are already here, in the final lap!"
"I feel like crying now," thanks to our principal's speech which was really heart-touching
There was one part he said about our batch is his batch that follows him right till the end. He came to the school in 2005, we came to the school in 2006. Now, 2010 is our last year and March 2011 would be his retirement. That was pretty sad and proud as well. I hope he'll be fine with it, although it's all fated.

At the end of the session, we shook hands with the principal and the senior assistant of academics and I think I was the only one who hugged both of them.

4. Gloria finally confronted in me about our long-held misunderstanding and I found out she was right about something, "That's true that you can have so many close friends but it's hard to find true friends." Now THAT was something I have to applaud on. She was right. All these while, I was being close to so many people (or would be rather close, I suppose?) and I didn't feel much appreciated as compared to my very few true friends. Regardless of anything, I would turn back to these true friends and tell them almost everything. Instead of shutting it up and move on which I do that to my close friends. "Fighting is normal. That happens all the time. It can't be avoided," Gloria added.

5. I've noticed that after Gloria is no longer with her previous gang, she is hell of a better person. It was so easy talking to her now compared to her old self. That's her problem, she gets carried away easily. My problem is I don't care what others think of me. That's why I am normally myself, regardless of how close that entity is to me. I'm still with the childish, cheerful, bitchy attitude wherever you see me in the streets. Just another thing that Gloria told me of, her motto, if you must. "If you can't bear the worst of me, you can't deserve the best of me." And my true friends have bore with me and have deserved from me too. I'm proud to tell that I am very grateful to have them, uber alles!

7. Dad fetched me back. While I was on the way to meet him, I was wet. I got home with a holy wet body. It's been long since I've done that. I missed the days.

8. My newborn niece is finally one month old. Sadly, I forgot to bring my camera to her place of this "full moon celebration" for babies, so far that I know of. I pretty much think it's a Malaysian culture. Is it? Well, the Malays (and Indians?) have it too.

9. It's 4 in the morning right now and I am not able to sleep.

How epic could this day be compared to my lame days of my seventeen breathing years of my life? MAN I just wish I could hit the rewind button and try perfecting every single flaw in this 24-hour time frame.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Phoenix



Just in case if you have no idea what's the resemblance of a phoenix, it's resurrection. Yeah, so the above pictures were really cool. Well, it's not pornographic. It's pure art! Really clear angle. Yeah I stumbled upon these shots while I was searching for pictures under "Phoenix resurrection".


It's been a long while since I've updated this blog. It's getting dead, for now or for ever. I dunno. Let time do the talking. Even I myself have changed. I'm not the usual kid next door anymore. I am getting darker and dimmer inside. But I enjoy being dark inside. It gives me real serenade, surprising, eh? I could say for now, only my classmates and granny understand me most. Only my classmates know me inside out. How I act, what I mean by my actions and stuffs like that.

My dad, I pity him. He gets intimidated easily by me nowadays. Sorry, dad. It's not that I hate you. I still love you. It's just that things were not the same anymore. Mom, please don't be silent. I still need your advices. It's not you I dislike. It's your radical family members. I understand, it sucks to be in your shoes. To side both parties. I think you should learn like me too: liberalism. Yeah. Cool, huh?

Well, pardon me for getting side-tracked. I was thinking of just telling you that I've laid my plans for the big exam now. Time will tell when I will move. With arms on my body, I'm ready to fight.. I'm just waiting for paper ghosts to come and I shall banish them all. 23rd November. Pretty ironic, eh? It was mom's birthday when my trial started. Now, it was Popo's death anniversary when my exam will start next month. Significantly coincidental. Or should I say, coincidentally significant? Ha, ha.

Alright, leisure time for me now... Lambrusco, here I come!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Would you rather?

So, this was a mini icebreaker game I played in SMK Puteri. There was a seminar held by this Taylor's college and they had this game, called would you rather. Now, I ask myself again because surely I choose to be healthy than sick.

"Would you rather, be sick (go right) or be healthy (go left)?"

Before this, there is no doubt that I would go to the left. But now, I choose to go to the right. Why? Well, the reasons are absolute, aren't they?
My mom's coming down tomorrow just to visit me, to basically see whether I am still alive or not.
My dad's dead worried about me, and coincidentally he is coming down from the UK next week too.
My cousin sister called me yesterday and asked, did I do the blood test in the clinic (which I did not do out of reluctance, anyway I am fine already!).

I don't care being sick and poor if I could have all these for me. Well now people, don't regard me as a person who seeks attention, as claimed by my self-righteous uncle, because... Although I do know they love me and crap stuffs like that, who in their right mind as a child would not want something like this? I don't know about you readers out there, maybe you are too grown up and busy with your lives and forgot about your inner self, and have been deafen by those factors that you could no longer hear your inner child voice calling for help.

Yes, I do know, life moves on. But if I could choose, I choose to be sick whole year long, or even choose to die of a bad sickness. At least I know my family members would come for me and I could see them on daily basis too. Believe me on this, NOTHING could be better than that. NOTHING.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Suspected?

Doctor: Well from the symptoms you've mentioned, this could be suspected dengue. It's ok, if you see your condition isn't any better by next week, come back here and we'll do some blood test to verify.

Well, actually even if he didn't say that, I pretty much know that it could possibly be dengue. My fever has never lasted more than 2 days. Now, I'm thinking far again. One possibility of death before this was bronchitis and now dengue. Both of these are very much better than any other scary ways to die. Benjamin asked me before, "Are you afraid to die?" I said, "Nope, I am only afraid of the way I die." Dengue for me, is considered ok. I'm pretty much optimistic here. Mom, don't worry. I surely would try to continue living, if God speeds.

After Biology test tomorrow, I would have to stay back tomorrow for an hour, to discuss a surprise for someone important to our class. After that, it depends if I feel terrible, I'd have to drive to General Hospital and if not, I can go to my Accounting class. Well, let's hope for the best then.

PS: Miss Zalilah's spirit has uplifted me today to go to school. She's always sick and yet so dedicated and because of her, I was present for English and Add Math. Thanks teacher!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Wish List

I am wondering for one thing, why no one asks me what would I want for my achievement this time. The ironic part here is whenever I don't think of asking anything, my family members would ask, "Huat what do you want for your achievement?" and now when I want some things, no one is asking me at all. Weird, eh? Well, pardon me for being a buffoon to wait for it to happen. I think it's time for me to get back to ground zero and get the things I want all by myself. Well, here's my (nonsensical) wish list.

1. Enough money for orchestra night-out with dad on 30th October (RM114)
2. Danger Days album by My Chemical Romance (RM40+)
3. USB port for my car, to plug my mp3 in (RM60+)
4. Laptop (RM2000+)

I know, I am being non-realistic. Well, anyhow, everyone has the rights to dream right?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

A flush

Yes, I would say I've got a flush, in poker. If my trial examination is based on poker cards. Thanks to all teachers who'd bore with my madness in class and funny questions which sometimes make them go blank first... And thanks for their blessings too. Not to forget, my friends who'd been bearing with me like HELL with my five-year-old attitude in class and explaining to me certain things I was not sure at all. I hope they get good results for the real big huge enormous exam too!

Physics especially. I've never gotten anywhere beyond 70 last year until Pn. Jamilah stumbled in my life this year. To all other teachers, thanks. I didn't dare to thank them face-to-face because I am sure I will cry by doing so. They've such huge impacts in my life this year. I think I probably will be lost if they were not who they were!

History on the other hand, I have to thank 3 entities.
1. Charlene for asking me to try answering paper 2 although I didn't know a single fuck. Surprisingly, I managed to get 72/100 for that paper and 75% as grand total. Without her, I would've gone out of the hall that afternoon.

2. God for opening my pea-sized brain to hear my teacher's voice in my head to answer the questions. It was all based on her voice and a little of my friends' voices.

3. Pn. Vimala of course! I heard her voice explaining to me what are those all about, although not fully... I was glad I heard her voice. Although later that afternoon I heard very weird noises (probably due to the heavy rain that time) talking loudly. It was as hectic as flight of the bumblebee, only this is not on a regular tempo.

Yesterday I've found another verse in the bible saying about the power of believing in something, or specifically, have faith in God, which has been proven true in my case. Last time, I've read it in Matthew. Now, Mark said the same thing too.
Mark 11:22-24
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Yes people, although I am a Taoist (which my History teacher has proven my point that it isn't even a religion, but a belief which made me shouted at her: Yes teacher! I agree to it!!, when she was explaining it to Pn. Asriah) it doesn't mean I can't read other books, right?

Tao Te Ching 71:1
Knowing ignorance is strength,
Ignoring knowledge is sickness.

OK, readers. Pardon me for being over-religious. I am not being a Pharisee. PLEASE!
-k-

PS: Aruna told me yesterday that there was a girl whom I met in the Sunway Scholarship bitched about me in a tuition where Aruna was there as well. She said to her friend and Aruna over-heard, "Ooi is very arrogant and acts as though he knows everything. He speaks English with slang too!"

To hell I care about her. I don't speak to her anyway. In fact, I don't even know who she is. Let her keep grudges in herself and I, stay contented without caring of those words.

PSS: If you'd forgotten, -k- means end in Morse code.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Torrents of Frustration

BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so very frustrated with my stupid vista right now.
Friends are always right. Listen to them. They said vista sucked and yet I still buy it.
Now so many problems have occurred:
1. Can't play my MP3 files
2. Can't download Photoshop which I need it so badly now
3. I just hate the system

Patience. Let's just hope dad would buy me a good one when he gets back home next month. Till then, my techo life's screwed very well up.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Religions


Definition of religion:
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generallyagreed upon by a number of
persons or sects.

Today in class, Benjamin asked me quite a number of questions regarding my faith and my stand in my religion. I doubt that he (or anyone else) could accept the fact that I accept the fundamental religions namely, Islamism, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Buddhism. I mean... All these while I am fond of religions. For me, religion is a very wide scope where there is no right or wrong. Religion is pure and beautiful. It makes me understand their perceptions of life easier than others.

One of the questions he raised, "How could you stay faithful to Taoism while you are reading about the Bible as well?" I told him honestly that it was a very difficult question for me to answer and I thought for a moment finally replying to his inquiry, "I believe that I have to return to Him the way I was sent by Him," born as a Taoist, die as a Taoist. I don't see anything religious in this context, seriously...

Well then I retorted him, "Let's say that I am studying about 5 different religions, does that mean I have to convert my faith for 5 times?"

Honestly, he was the first person ever to question my faith this deeply before. Either to judge me (as status quo says, humans are prone to judgments) or to understand my point of view, that I wouldn't know. He was being curious, I suppose. But then again, curiosity has it's reason.

There was another thing I forgot to raise up: My friend who's currently studying in Toronto, Canada says that she's studying about world religions now. Well then again, does that mean all Canadian students will have to convert their faiths as they read along the books, to so called... Understand the religions better?

So, readers, as I have said, religion is truly a beautiful subject where we can never proof the existence of God (in the world where people sometimes claim "to see is to believe" because certainly we cannot see Him. Here I am not saying about the wonders he could do but I am saying about his physical existence. Please don't misunderstand me.) and yet we all still have faith in Him. And there is no such absolute definition of God (and Universe) because it is a very subjective matter which should not be questioned radically. Neither's right nor wrong, at all.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Family Dinner with the Ixorians

So yeah... Yesterday was our class family dinner which I thought all of us would be there and it seemed to us that only 11 came up. All my invitations sent were rejected due to (some nonsensical) excuses. Well, we can't blame them can we?

Some said
1. Parents didn't allow
2. Back to village
3. Parents asked them to study
4. Tuition
5.

Yup, reason number 5 was the best. No replies. It didn't matter anymore, anyway. We all still had fun. 11 of us. We were having this fine dinner in a Chinese restaurant and our bill turned up to be RM99.60 which really shocked Sarmila up. But... That didn't matter because all of us shared money to pay the bill. This was what the function was for, anyway.

Most of my gang members didn't turn up, mostly due to reasons 1, 3 and 5. Anyhow, we had dinner with our classmates of different gang. The "right side" I call them. It was surprisingly fun that we could actually sit down in one table and talk happily. I really liked that moment, although we ended up talking our own topics most of the time but it was really nice. We also talked on the class t-shirt design which later will be proposed to our Mummy on either this Friday or next Monday where the school comes back to life.

It's almost time right now... I have to go pay a visit to my family doctor for my blood test report. So, will see you soon then. Till then, goodbye.

PS: Win Shen, have a safe journey to the United Kingdom alright? Bon voyage!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Mario Philosophy

Few minutes ago, I was playing this... rather childish game called Super Mario. Yes, I know I am already 17 and I should play more serious games and stuffs like that but hey, if you take a good look at this game, there actually are a lot of hidden messages in it. I'm not saying that there are a lot of invisible cubes to knock on, I'm saying here is messages about life and human norm. I have thought of two most common examples to write this post. I hope you would enjoy reading it. Food for thoughts? Decide for yourselves.
Example one - Mushrooms:
You could simple say that the mushrooms are the most common enemies in the Mario world, no one denies it. In fact, most common enemies are the ones we should be careful of, instead of thinking way too far about any other things, of reaching the poles at the end of each levels and making such brouhaha out of it, big deal. But can you tell me that no one has been killed by the common enemies before? Can you tell me that you've never being killed by this before without cursing out loud after that and can you too tell me that you've never accidentally fallen into the pits before too? So this is it. The most common enemies, the most common obstacles take our opportunities away as easily as that. In the world, you lose a life. In reality however, you lose a huge opportunity of getting something. Advise? Be careful but not too much. Everything comes and goes accordingly. So, just plan wisely.

Example two - Tokens:
You can say, "It doesn't matter if I lose one life. I can compensate for it when I've collected 100 pieces of tokens," and too no one denies that. But have us not thought for once, what if we keep that life, and get one more extra? Wouldn't it be better, instead of just losing one and getting one back (if you're lucky enough). In reality, there isn't really such thing as compensations in life, is it? What I would say here is... in life, everything has its stakes. Everything has to be well balanced. Not by grabbing so many things in a go and trust me, in the end, you will collapse. Learn to breathe as well. Don't get upset easily or worry unnecessarily about the little things that should not be of your concern. Take one step at a time. Believe it or not, I am actually advising myself on this too. It's really funny when people advise another person and when he comes to face the same challenge, he fails the same way too and needing someone else to comfort him.

In the nutshell, everything we has it's antecedence and consequence. From the most common mathematical reasoning argument type (derived from Aristotle's Laws of Logic) of if p, then q, we could say from example one:
If I step on the mushrooms, then they will die.
If I touched them, then I will die.
And surely, you would be able to think for example two's implication. That's all from me (which I dunno why am I so philosophical now) and I wish everyone here Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

PS: OK, I think there is some anachronistic lapse in my brain now. Pardon me for sounding like an old pope.

Blurts

I slept at 4am and woke up at 11am. Well it's not that I wanted to, right? Everything has reasons behind it. My reason was:
Went to shop for my sport shoes (really cool design, and it's bloody cheap. At least... Cheaper than my Polo and Admiral - RM59.90) in Parkson and walked to Terminal 1 to buy my belt. I really needed one so badly. My pants are all dropping down my waist! This Polo belt really worthed the money I've paid for. It was only RM29.95, compared to one of my likings, d'Urban which was around RM40! That saved me RM10!!!

After my shopping, I walked to Secret's Recipe to have my lunch. Once in a blue moon, mom. I know what exactly you're thinking right now. I've tried on tom yum kung noodle (RM13.50), a piece of strawberry chocolate cake (RM6.50), coffee mocha (RM7.00) and chamomile tea (RM6.00) and 15% tax which led me paying RM41.40 (instead of RM36.00). Simple calculation, thanks to Mr. Rusli who was making his speech about paying up for our Graduation night. He said, "Whenever you see there's plus plus behind a value, just add 15% into it. That's all."

Hence, my calculation: 36.00 X 1.15 = 41.40
Wow, I never knew I could actually explain MATHS here!

I got back home around 7pm with a copy of NST which contained a very sad news regarding the burning of the holy book. I prayed hard later that night and thank God, He has listened to our pleas and I was thanking Him over and over again for changing the pastor's mind! I only knew of the change of plan today noon.

And I continued living my life as usual, nothing much until I realized that I could not sleep at my normal time because of thiamine and caffeine. Awesome, wasn't it? So then I stumbled upon this piece in Youtube again (Requiem of the Dreams) and I decided to ensemble a guitar duet for this masterpiece of Clint Mansell. I was busy with the ensemble until around 3.30am and decided to watch a 911 video documentary in Youtube. May God bless them who were killed then. So then, I slept after that.
The Requiem's intro

Chorus

The hardest parts to ensemble
Ending!
These are my outcomes. Thanks to Grey who'd cleared my doubts with a good rendition.
A solo piece made into a duet.

----------------------------------------------------------

This morning, nothing new. I went to Arsenal's Tailor with Granny to make my trousers for my Sunway interview. I've been wearing the same suit for about six times already. It doesn't really matter because I still can wear these when I grow old (or until I grow fat). It was RM120.00 instead of RM150.00 because the boss said, "you're too small!". I've paid 50% deposit for that. Anyway, I will be getting my trousers done by 19th September he said.

There was a rather rich lady in the shop stared at me a couple of times when she looked at Granny and I, with a... cynical look. Her eyes almost asked me: "Do you have enough money?" Well, I couldn't really blame it on her could I? I was wearing my short pants and normal tee and Granny was wearing a simple cotton trousers and cotton shirt. We must'd looked poor to her, or maybe she'd looked too rich for us. Either way, it was none of my business.

On next Tuesday, Sook Jean and I are planning to watch Piranha in MBO since most of her friends are too scared to watch with her. On that day, I will shop for my shirt and tie. I will try my very best to find something which is nice and cheap.