Feeling crappy!

Should I be happy that I managed to break my personal bowling record today (129 points) or should I be sad that my Popo has passed away 4.30pm today?

Damn it, today was such a roller coaster ride. I was happy for a moment, then sad. Such an... anti-climax.

I went to see my dentist, Mr. Oh in Integral Clinic at town as usual. My annual check-up. The appointment was 3pm but I reached there a little later. So then I paid RM60 for some polishing and cleaning and left the place about 3.30pm and headed to Parkson.

I played 2 games of bowling which cost me RM7.50. My first game was a little crappy as I didn't understand the mechanics of the bowling ball. The techniques were different compared to that in Jusco. What I did in Jusco's bowling center didn't work in Parkson's. That was why my first game I only managed to get 99 points. After I'd understood the mechanics of my nine-pound bowling ball and my aim-lock-slide-and-throw technique, I got 129 for my 2nd game. That, I broke my previous personal record which was 127 points, in Jusco when I played with my gang, remember?

So then I headed to Starbucks to try a cuppa tea but ordered coffee instead. Guys, I am no rich-guy's-son or a millionaire or some sort like that. Don't ever call me that. I am just spending on the things I like. However, instead of RM12.90 for a warm cup of caramel macchiato, I ordered another thing - Starbucks Chocolate Cake for RM9.05. Voila, I overspent again. Anyway, the cake was worth the bucks I paid. So... No regrets, guys.

While I was peacefully sitting down on a very comfortable couch and doing my accounts homework while listening to my full-blast MP3 songs, one message came and made me go hay-wire.

Sender: Banana

Po has passed away at about 4.30pm.

Received: 5.19pm.

These few words were enough to make me blank. I couldn't do my accounts anymore that time. I was dumbstruck for 15 minutes or so. I didn't cry. I realised that Alex was taking over my mental condition. Yes, he was there. The stronger side of Ooi Kim Huat. You could say that I was mentally ill or schizophrenic or suffering from bipolar confusion but I didn't care. He was there, stopping me to drop my tears in a coffee shop and stopping my damn from breaking all the way home. Thanks for my so-called mental disorder. Or less, I would have cried like hell in the coffee shop then!

You know what - that was the first time Alex was so bold. He never came out like that. I never let him to but this time round, I needed him to console me. OK, I better stop now or less the whole site might think I am a looney!

Damn it I don't understand why on earth and Eden and Inferno must He take away those people that I love. I had just started to be closer to Popo and now... Like star dusts in some fantasy movies, whisked her away. How funny could it be?

Now I am waiting for my uncle to fetch me to Ipoh. I have no idea what time will he come here but I am going to pay her a last visit. I hope I don't cry again. I AM SICK OF CRYING ALREADY. Till then, au revoir !

PS: Thanks, Alex.

The Best Days

Summary of the best days as a school kid... So here it goes:

The best day was when

the first day of school. I was thrown from 4 Tanjung to 4 Ixora because according to Mr. Low, I was wasting my intelligence there... Meh.

The best day was when

I scored pretty well in my first monthly test in form 4 and didn't fail any!

The best day was when

my whole class made a mini-surprise birthday party for me. Sweet sixteen much? That was awesome and I had to cry. Totally touched with the gang!

The best day was when

my team was qualified for Malay language debates up to the second runner up! We were never exposed to anything like that and we could still produce that good result. Our teachers were proud of us!

The best day was when

The prefects had fun in Gala night. They loved Gopinath's musicals!!! I was there too. It was awesome!!!

The best day was when

I baked an orange cake with granny.

The best day was when

my choral speaking team got 4th out of 12 schools. Though it was quite bad, but the amount of fun we created was... unmeasurable by time.

The best day was when

I cried once at midnight when I saw my granny's picture I took. I was scared that some day or another she has to leave me... I have realized that I loved her.

The best day was when

Mid-term exam was finally over!

The best day was when

my second baby nephew was born.

The best day was when

we had so much fun at Louisa's birthday bash in Kotak Hijau (Ha ha, Greenbox)

The best day was when

My granny and I went for Popo's birthday bash in Ipoh and I had sung 2 songs for the crowd. (I was kind of... saved my mother's singing session? Wasn't I, Mum?)

The best day was when

I knew a new friend. Teh Win Shen. I have realized this: to be close, does not mean we have to be a lot in common because Ooi Kim Huat is Ooi Kim Huat and Teh Win Shen is Teh Win Shen. Nothing could change the fact. I was grateful I knew his - he had been motivating me for quite some time.

The best day was when

I quit as a prefect. I felt oh-so-free!!!! It was like a huge rock being lifted off from my shoulder!

The best day was when

My end-term exam was finally over. No more books for the year. Besides some revision during the holidays.

The best day was when

My gang played football and chilled at Jason's house for a few hours doing things that best friends do...

The best day was when

TODAY was my last day of school.

TODAY in Accounts class, everyone had gone half crazy doing some new form 5 thing...

TODAY I realized I did not tell much about my life to granny.

TODAY I realized that I love popo too.

TODAY I realized there are people who were trying to help me out.

TODAY is my best friend's (Keevin) birthday. Happy birthday!!! Finally, you're 16 too.

PS: I love all of you. Thanks for being there when I need you.

Chilling at Jason's

Today I went to Benjamin's house at 7.50am and waited for him and Melvin (his brother) to finish their DoTA... We promised to go Amir's house at 8.15am yesterday then his dad will bring us to Jason's house to play football at 8.30am. That, was only a plan...

When the two of them were busy gaming, Benjamin asked me to text Amir saying we three will be there by 8.20am but ended up reaching Amir's at 8.30am. That time, we couldn't go to Jason's because Amir's dad went out to buy breakfast and we waited for another 30 minutes. At 8.50am Jason called. We asked Amir to lie to them (Jason and Kamales that was there at Jason's since 8.00am!) about us being sick. Jason was disappointed. Indeed until Amir said: No la, we lying la... Now we putting loudspeaker. Ha, ha, ha.

Then we reached there and started playing for an hour and 15 minutes. We headed back to Jason's house and bathe, had breakfast and lunch (lunch was at 2.15pm. Benjamin and Melvin had gone home earlier). We were playing games, chatting, we were just doing things that best friends usually do... Below were the random pictures I took after our game. That time we all were ventilating in Jason's house.

Ben with his cocktail sandwich

Jason with his... weird expression

Amir with the Petrosains clappers he got yesterday for supporting my team for the science competition. He was... fanning himself?

Kamales, in the middle of gossiping session

Melvin with his sandwich in his mouth...

Me still ventilating

We bathed and changed then we played PS2.

Around 4.00pm I went to Amir's house to play some games with his third-eldest brother because my intention was to go to NS Piano House to buy a capo and then to Family Store to buy 2 AA batteries. I waited longingly for the rain to stop pouring until my granny called at 6.07pm asking me to go home now because the rain was not gonna stop.

Something is wrong with this Ball now. It has been raining almost everyday since October. I hope nothing bad will happen...

Lost

Again... For the Petrosains Science Show. It was so disappointing when we heard our votes were only 29. Of course I am sad now... You need not to ask me that.

Anyway, I'd cried earlier and hugged both Mrs Wong Mei Kuen and Miss Siti Aishah and apologized to them... It was my darn fault. Or was it?

***

Earlier, we went to Parkson at 9.15am by a chartered bus and registered at 9.30am. So we wasted our time watching 11 other schools perform before our turn had finally came. Before our turn, I borrowed Ramanan's RM5 to buy Starbucks because I had wasted too much money on McD set. I ordered Toffee Nut Frapucinno. Then when I came back with my coffee, Amir Shazwan (one of the 15 supporters from our school) asked, "WHAT?! Starbucks again?!!!" because I had just bought it when our gang hanged out in Jusco days ago.

Our school was the last to perform at 3.50pm. Everyone was bored, I knew it. But then again we did our best and we still lost. Argh!

I was so tired after that and just cried like hell when our school didn't make it to runners up. I tried my best to keep cool but I just couldn't. The juries were giving positive comments but then again, I didn't know what was wrong! My teacher suspected that it was... you know... Big-shot's game kinda business? You know what I mean don't you!

When I was crying after the prize-giving ceremony, Gopinath (also one of the 15 supporters from our school) had advised me.

"Ooi, it doesn't matter. Thomas Alva Eddison tried 1000 times and then only he had succeeded! You can try next year, Ooi!"

Keerthana (my co-presenter on stage)

"Ooi, what is life if you keep on winning? Losing and winning is a part of the competition!"

Adeline (supporter)

"It doesn't matter, Ooi. You had done a good job up there!"

My day just went on like that...

***

1 Message Received (7.33pm)

Sender: Benjamin Lim

Message:

If you can keep your head down when others are losing theirs, you'll be a better person my friend. Try to remember this. You don't have to feel disappointed I know that you have put in a lot of effort but it was just not enough.

PS: Thank you for your motivation. I appreciate it a lot.

Am I?

What do you say? Schizophrenia or am I just being paranoid? I will have to see a psychologist soon. Hopefully before Win Shen comes down to visit me.

Fucked up???

Guys, today was the worst fucked-up days in my whole goddamn form 4 life, besides exams but that could still be handled. Keerthana, Hamsalekkha, Miss Siti Aishah and I - were all stressed up as fuck. I pitied my teacher most. She had to run so many errands while she only had 2 hands and legs.

"Today is the rehearsal. 9.30am. Parkson."

We went there and guess what?

I bet you know it from that face.

3 of us then went to the Info Counter and... The receptionist said, "Oh, your Petrosains competition rehearsal is on 3pm to 5pm. Not now because they have an autograph session with Hujan."

Yeah, great. It was also hujan-ing at the moment. We were all shocked and dumbfounded.

So we all went to McD and ordered some things to eat and that was when Hamsalekkha took my what-the-fuck-is-going-on face expression. Pardon me for cursing so much because the day just fucked the hell outta me worse than ever!

After we were done with our food-packing, we went to...

To discuss about tomorrow's flow...

And the four of us (as mentioned above) sat and discussed the whole thing from 10.30am until 1.10pm. We never realised that time was going so fast. I swear that was the first time I had ever done something serious in Starbucks!

Peer pressure? Work pressure? Call it anything you like! I was so sick until I was coffee-whoring since 12.00pm (I think).

Later today... when I was taking my power nap.

3.30pm

"Do you hear me? I'm talking to you...

Across the water, across the deep blue ocean,

Under the open sky, Oh my baby I'm -"

Hello?

Ooi, saya pergi jemput you sekarang eh? Kita pergi tengok sekejap.

OK cikgu.

Bila saya dah sampai saya bagi you miss call eh.

OK. Terima kasih cikgu.

OK, bye.

When I sat in her car... she dropped another bomb. Oh no, not again!!!!!!! Now what?!

OOI! Rehearsal tu dah tamat la! Mr. Shafiq kata. Saya telefon, dia kata baru je habis. Semua sekolah dah balik. Dia kata semua sekolah ada, kecuali Bukit Mewah.

HAH????!!!!!!!!!

Apa nak buat sekarang? Kita drop saje ah.

CIKGU!!!!! Apa kata kita try telefon tengok dia ada kat sana lagi tak. Kalau ada, kita nasib baik la...

And we called him, he was there. He was STILL there. AMEN!!!!! Finally, we reached there and we saw Mr. Shafiq with some papers.

God, do You know how much I thanked You?

I could not help myself from laughing because of these reasons:

1) He looks a little cute and dorky?

2) He was wearing alligator shoes.

3) We made up a story on why we were late.

He then explained about the procedure for tomorrow's big day.

Petronas Science Show Competition2009

Peringkat Negeri Sembilan

17 November 2009

Keerthana, at this moment now, I believe you more than I believe in myself. Good luck!

A movie

I watched this movie yesterday with my friends in Jusco. There were 13 of us.

The movie was great with the destructive effects all over the places and how the hero managed to escape...

Amir S was a little scared because it showed us about how the world (in the movie) come to an end.

I do believe that everything shall end though but we dunno when the Day will come... So, we had fun after that. We couldn't be bothered about how the world ends soon anyway. It's just a movie.

About the Mayan calender case, it said that every 13 bakthul (something like that) means every 5 125 years, everything will come to an end and would return to the basics. A whole new world.

OK, stop talking about it!!

Here's the chronology of events for the chilling we did yesterday:

11.00am

Amir, Ben, Melvin and I reached Jusco and saw Kamales waiting at U-bowl.

We had some fun there pooling and Kamales playing table hockey with Amir.

(Ben managed to get a chain momentum for this one)

11.20am

Jason, Jananie, Jac and Gopinath came.

Louisa, Kamini and Charlene came shortly after them.

The group is now complete.

12.00pm

We all went to order food in KFC (those are our lunch) and the damned workers were so effing slow. We were late for the movie because of them!!!

1.50pm

Met an irritating couple in the queue when we were buying drinks in TGV. They were asking us not to shout in public. How funny. Is that called as shouting? I wonder how low their hearing tresholds are! Perhaps... 0.01 dB? Tut!!

2.00pm

The movie has started once we went in. We missed a few scenes but thank goodness the starting was boring and sleepy.

5.00pm

Movie was over.

Camwhored a while with the group.

We headed for bowling. Guess the price?

RM84 for 12 of us.

6.30pm

Everyone was happy and satisfied.

We all went home.

PS: I will treasure the moments I have with you...

Au Revoir mon 4th

I no longer am the fourth in class. I dropped. Gahh! Something might have knocked my head this time. I dropped A LOT!!! Compared to mid-year, I was top 15 in the cohort. Now, top 20.

I know I am asking too much. I direct this to Dad, Mum, Francine, Win Shen and all others that think I am a dumb ass who is still not satisfied of what I get every single time. I guess you just have to bear with me mourning about this... Anyway, those are what friends are for right? They hear their friends mourn (at times). BUT, I promise this: this would be the very last time you hear me mourn about my results this year.

Trust me.

PS: Tomorrow, one whole big gang of 13 people is going to hang out in Jusco. It's gonna be cool!!! Finally, I feel so light. No more mourning, no more shouting, no more midnight screams, no more tears. AHHH, how nice!!!

Dear Dad

To: Chin Chin

Chin, you have your driving tutor's number?

From: Chin Chin

Inmaju mr.yee

016 XXXXXXX

To: Chin Chin

Thanks. How much is it for the course?

From: Chin Chin

Rm900++ not sure, u can phone n ask d tutor

So Dad, I know that you probably will not read this post, that is why I am thinking of e-mailing this topic to you. Yeah, I am planning to take my driving lesson. What do you say?

Mystery solved

Physics 70% and Chemistry 79%

Great! Everything is so close yet so far. FUCK!!!

So I am the 5th in my class...

Oh yeah! During Chemistry after we got back our results I asked Benjamin to sing me a song to make me happy and Aruna was beside me jumping about as usual...

I didn't know what happen and when he started singing a Chinese song, I cried. GOSH that was so damn humiliating?!!! Aruna was totally shocked and asked me, 'Hey OOI! Are you OK or not? Why are you crying?! Ben, I think you should stop playing. He's gonna cry more...'

I was seriously touched by him. In my life, only twice my friends really touched my heart and pulled my heartstrings. The first was my 16th Birthday celebration when I told the class I was not going to celebrate my birthday and they just didn't listen and made me cry. I love you people so much. Thanks!

PS: Doctor Adeline Pamela has confirmed me of getting a terrible sickness. Guess what's that?

Love sick, damn it!

Sitting at home

I was hungry after going to Win Shen's album about FOODIE and then was chatting with Kamini J also about foodie. So then I decided to go down and did some food-whoring session with my noodle quickie. Hmmm... At least whatever happened earlier until the this food-whoring session had cheered me up a little because of my disappointing marks! GOSH!!!!!!!

Now, do you all understand why was my day terrible? Let's see...

#1 My speech today was not as good as I had expected.

#2 Biology and Malay language. Ah, don't even mention them! So close yet so far (from 1A).

#3 My accumulative pointers is already 17!!! It's running away from its origin of 10... NOO.....

Goddamnit, I hope I get my class position (the paper people THE paper!!!) will not land anywhere in the second sheet. This is gonna be bad!!! So... Very... BAD!

Anyway, I thought I would fail Accounts! Gosh I was so happy that my paper was on top of the stack of papers which means I am the still highest in class even though my marks dropped like... 20% ?!

Even though Francine did not take it, she was a little pissed at me.

"Hello, look who is talking now? Who cried and made a big drama after the exam huh?"

All I did was... smile.

Tomorrow - is a mystery: Physics and Chemistry. I just hope I can credit both subjects.

Psycology test

Got this from Adeline: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

It was 95% accurate.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Popo

Popo: a Chinese word that means grandmother. The mother of mother's side.

I still remember how I used to piss the whole Ipoh gang when I first visited them when I was small. I have caused so much havoc in such a short period of time. I was fighting with my sister, crying for mummy, hating all of them because nothing went as I have planned at all. So then we came home and that was last I have seen the Ipoh gang. That was a bitter memory.

Now, I am 16 years old with my Dad not around and only my Granny (this is dad's mum) in the house, Mum invited us both to Ipoh few months ago to celebrate Chinese New Year with them and we did go... Things that time have gone smooth. No shouting. No fuming... Everything was almost perfect. I did not notice until today (I will explain further, don't worry) that I have already given a part of my heart to them - the other side of my family. Oh, not to forget... Dad and Mum divorced when I was three, now that makes it clear for you all to understand why is my family so small?

Second trip this year was on 25th September where me and Granny were invited to celebrate Popo's birthday but... She couldn't really see anymore. She had cataract. A serious one I was told. That was when I sang HOME SWEET HOME and MY BABY for her. Mum kindly asked for my help to sing since my (very much useless) sister had no guts to do so. Ha, ha.

The Ipoh gang also told me that Popo is going for an eye operation somewhere 2 weeks after her 85th birthday bash. So then I prayed and did a distant reiki for her (I hope she got that) but when The day came, doctor said it was too dangerous. Her condition was unstable.

Yesterday, midnight;

1 message received

Banana (I put Mum as that in my phone for fun)

R u asleep yet?

Reply: No. Why?

1 message received

Banana

M now @ hospital, taking care of grdma. Will call ok.

Reply: Oh. Why with her?

Few minutes later...

CALLING: Banana (with my Lucky ringtone) [the ones in bold letters were my dialogs. It went something like this. I couldn't recall much]

Hello?

Hello. Huat, just to inform you about Popo's condition. She got better since she was admitted on Monday.

Oh ok...

Her speen, liver and stomach were bloated with gallstones but she is getting better since then.

Oh ok... (I was scared. I knew that it is almost time already. My grandfather had had the same symptoms too. I was scared. Very scared.)

I call you just to let you know that we can see that she is fighting to stay alive. So, I don't see the reason why you should not.

But Mum... (I started crying. I could not take it anymore that time. Too much for me) why must she leave?

Oh, come on. Huat, I didn't call to hear you cry! Come on.

And I forgot all the other conversation.

I was feeling like shit and I called the person I trusted since I met him. Win Shen. I knew he was busy doing some other things back then but he'd allocated some time bringing me back up. He spent some time making me upright. I didn't really care for my credit then because I needed help from someone I trust and he'd promise he would be there for me. And he really did.

Today, I was clearing my Google Chrome's archives and I stumbled upon a blog that I'd visited some time ago (The Abyss). The writer's my cousin studying in Singapore.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2009

Ive got an unexpected visit from my grandma, mum, aunties and my uncle from ipoh.. We were given a very short notice about their coming so, we didnt really prepare much. They reached here around 2 am yesterday. Haha, what a bad timing, you say? Never mind la..They brought some good food from ipoh you know. lol

As usual, sin and i went donwstairs to pick up my grandma in her wheelchair and brought her up. Although its kinda predicted because of her old age, it seems that grandma has gotten weaker again. Remember i told you about her bad eyesight? Her cataract has gotten serious and we were shocked when she asked us where she was when she's already inside the house. Sad right. *sigh.

When we were discussing about grandma, uncle suddenly said, " You've got to be mentally prepared. Its anytime. " Yea, i know. Its almost time up for her, huh. Why? Why she has to leave so fast? No. She has a lot more to enjoy. Its too early for her. She...

....

It is painful to see someone you love to go just like that.

I didnt really sleep much yesterday. Its not because of the sofa. Haha, its kinda difficult to sleep when you got all watery..when you feel the uselessness in you when you cant do anything.

Haha.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2009

"...Abdominal ultrasound : Coarsed liver parenchyma with knobbly surface compatible with cirrhosis. No focal lesion seen. Mild ascites noted. Gallbladder stones noted. Splenomegaly and splenic varices noted. Kidneys are hyperechoic but normal in size. Tiny left calyceal stone noted but no hydronephrosis seen. Impression : Liver cirrhosis ..."

Hb 82 g/L (115 - 165)
platelet 95 9 normal 150-450)
urea 29.4 mmol/L (3.5-11)
Creatinine 368 umol / L (50-120)
albumin 29g/L (35-50)


This is too much for her, God. Spare her the pain, would you?

I could not really understand those scientific terms as much as some of you do but... I just knew her condition is not alright anymore. The fucking thing I would never understand is why the fuck is everyone I love goes away?! Since I was 3 years old, my life fucks because of so many other damned things.

I wish I could understand...

[No subject]

Hey people in the world, guess what? I have changed my guitar strings again this time and they're better than ever. The tone or whatever you call it, sounds so nice ans sharp. I have also changed my damn bridge. Now, sharper sound and zero buzzing! It was so cool!

***

Anyhow, I don't see any great changes in me. I don't really know am I sane or am I not. I feel like studying. Yeah I know I should take my rest but I feel so empty without studies. Perhaps, I really AM a bloody nerd!

Anyway, I am going to see a psychiatrist soon enough. Dad allowed me to do so because I'd explained to him that I am mentally unstable and I know something is not right in OOI KIM HUAT. He is screaming for help, I can sense that. He is not alright at all.

Perhaps we both (I mean my physical and mental selves) really need help right now? I dunno. I just hope that all of you out there will be with me no matter what I will be. I hope I don't end up in any asylum though! I am serious - no jokes here!!

Cool outing!

Today granny and I went to town to do some things and ended up... OK, well here's the summary!

12.30pm

Went to town with Granny to pay Dad's undue payment (or in other words: debt. He gave us money to do that) and went to browse for Granny's new bed-stand and my king size bed. Hehe!

1.30pm

Brought Granny to Terminal One for her to go on a bus back home and I continued my journey alone. I went to Parkson after Granny went up the bus. She didn't wanna go with me because she was bored waiting for me and I didn't like people to rush me...

Win Shen was right - music is our friend. I was not feeling bored actually because I had my MP3 with me.

2.00pm

Reached bowling center in Parkson (after I was done window shopping for an hour or so). I played two games. First was only 65... I was not satisfied with it. I want three-figure points and guess what?! 113. Yippe!!!

3.10pm

In Starbucks, I asked the barrister to recommend me something and so I stumbled upon a hot cup of Mocha Praline and a piece of Strawberry Snow Doughnut (it was hard, dry and terrible). It was raining quite heavily and I decided to walk in the rain at 4.07pm. I finally reached Terminal One and took a bus back home.

PS: I really missed shouting in the middle of the night due to study stress and staying behind for activities. Now I feel so empty inside and bored all the while. I can't find anything that occupy me besides going online and chat with my friends, checking mails and games. I don't want my life to be like Wilson's in The Lotus Eater. That is not me. I am someone who wants me to preoccupied over something. Meh, never mind. I was talking crap. Just forget about it...

Oh and by the way, I was almost broke!!! I spent too much on Starbucks and thank goodness I had enough money to come back home. My debit-credit summary...

DEBIT: Allowance 35.00

CREDIT: Water bottle 1.00

Bowling 13.50

Starbucks 18.70

Bus fare 1.50

Capital 0.30

I was left with that amount of money (RM 0.30) after everything...

Dear Mum (and Win Shen)

As I'd promised earlier, I will write about the essay I wrote during exam. Sadly, I only managed to get 31/50 which is quite disappointing actually. However, I know that I am not gonna get high marks for that section because my weakness is...

I CAN'T WRITE STORIES USING PAST TENSE FORM!!!

So I hope that you'll enjoy this (rectified critically) version.

'Alex, don't try that. it hurts! Alex, don't be silly! Alex this, Alex that...' The famous words that were uttered by my best friend. In fact, he was my only friend. Benjamin. Now, you see, everything happens for a reason. or... maybe a few reasons in my case.

I met Benjamin during our orientation week in school when I was thirteen. He was kind and trustworthy. That was the number one reason why he was my friend! Most of them in school didn't want to be my friend because... I was a gay. yeah, it's pretty hard to accept the fact but... That was me! Benjamin on the other hand, didn't really care for that. He said that I would still be his friend no matter what would happen.

Many people liked me in school or anywhere for that matter, everywhere. They said I was a good boy. I completed all my assignments before time, I spoke to the elderly politely and I made friends with the school cleaners. You name it - that was why I was hated by other students. They said I was a goodie two shoes.

It was a normal day when Sean said 'HI' to me while I was staying behind in school for some projects. I was quite attracted to him but that was not the main thing. The main thing was I have turned into a monster after knowing him. Cold-blooded monster. He had made me try drugs! Benjamin knew about it and he had advised me not to be friends with him anymore. One day, Benjamin called to advise me.

'Now Alex, don't be silly! He's hot, let him be. I mean, OK. Here. See. He might be the one that you like but he's a smoker for goodness sake! A smoker. Can you even get that? And now because of your 'hot dude', you smoke too! You know that smoking killed my dad?! he smoked too much and fell ill. One day, we woke up and saw my papa sleeping like a rock. Now you are smoking. Alex, I don't wanna lose a friend like you.' Benjamin continued.

'Er...' i was thinking of what to say to convince him. 'Er, smoking isn't that bad actually. It makes me relaxed!'

'Oh, shut up! I don't want to spend another second advising you. You're... you're incorrigible!' Then he hung up, leaving my heart broken into million pieces.

I didn't and couldn't care less. I thought that Benjamin had become a paranoid. I began to mix with Sean's group. I felt safe being accepted by so many people. They didn't care about my gay issue. They were cool with it. I liked them. A lot!

Since then, I've turned from a smoker to a stealer and finally to a drug addict. I've stolen things, I've killed people, I've injured them and hurt my family. I did not know it was wrong. Seriously!

2nd October 2015, a date I will never forget, as it was when I was 24 years old. Benjamin betrayed me. he called the police and lodged a report about me - his friend. When the cops broke into our room (while we were planning for the next robbery), all Sean's members managed to run away. Including Sean. How stupid have I been? Sean wanted me in their group because I was too naive! Sean's members hurt me a lot when they said something before they had fled. 'All these while, we hate gays! You're stupid enough to believe us, moron! Ha, ha, ha!!!' That was the last time I saw them. Then the cops arrested me and interrogated me for days. I told them everything I knew.

In ten minute's time, I will be punished. Yes, you guessed it right. A death sentence. I regretted so much since my arrest and I have cried thinking about Benjamin's advice, my family and myself.

"What have I become, my sweetest friend?

Everyone I know goes away, in the end..."

'Mr. Alex Choy Kong Leong. Your time is up and now please follow me.' The warden told me. I regretted everything but it was too late. In a minute, I would die - hanged to death. Johnny Cash's 'Hurt' was playing even louder in my head then.

"You could have it all, my empire of dirt.

If I could start again, I would find a way."

Now, I realise how right my friend was.

Just nice

Exam was over yesterday and today we have to dread about our marks! What a life!!!

So, for AM I scored 62%!! I am so happy I passed, man!!

English was 82%

Maths was 84%

Even though those marks are quite low, but it's better than nothing!

CHERISH

Exam's over damn it! So very happy. Finally I need not to look at books anymore!! YEAH!!! Today when the teacher announced (in hall), "OK, collect all you papers now". We all were

YESH!

WOOHOO!!!!!
CLAPS!!!!

It was mad - seriously!