NUFFY

Friday, November 6, 2009

Dear Mum (and Win Shen)

As I'd promised earlier, I will write about the essay I wrote during exam. Sadly, I only managed to get 31/50 which is quite disappointing actually. However, I know that I am not gonna get high marks for that section because my weakness is...

I CAN'T WRITE STORIES USING PAST TENSE FORM!!!

So I hope that you'll enjoy this (rectified critically) version.

'Alex, don't try that. it hurts! Alex, don't be silly! Alex this, Alex that...' The famous words that were uttered by my best friend. In fact, he was my only friend. Benjamin. Now, you see, everything happens for a reason. or... maybe a few reasons in my case.

I met Benjamin during our orientation week in school when I was thirteen. He was kind and trustworthy. That was the number one reason why he was my friend! Most of them in school didn't want to be my friend because... I was a gay. yeah, it's pretty hard to accept the fact but... That was me! Benjamin on the other hand, didn't really care for that. He said that I would still be his friend no matter what would happen.

Many people liked me in school or anywhere for that matter, everywhere. They said I was a good boy. I completed all my assignments before time, I spoke to the elderly politely and I made friends with the school cleaners. You name it - that was why I was hated by other students. They said I was a goodie two shoes.


It was a normal day when Sean said 'HI' to me while I was staying behind in school for some projects. I was quite attracted to him but that was not the main thing. The main thing was I have turned into a monster after knowing him. Cold-blooded monster. He had made me try drugs! Benjamin knew about it and he had advised me not to be friends with him anymore. One day, Benjamin called to advise me.

'Now Alex, don't be silly! He's hot, let him be. I mean, OK. Here. See. He might be the one that you like but he's a smoker for goodness sake! A smoker. Can you even get that? And now because of your 'hot dude', you smoke too! You know that smoking killed my dad?! he smoked too much and fell ill. One day, we woke up and saw my papa sleeping like a rock. Now you are smoking. Alex, I don't wanna lose a friend like you.' Benjamin continued.

'Er...' i was thinking of what to say to convince him. 'Er, smoking isn't that bad actually. It makes me relaxed!'

'Oh, shut up! I don't want to spend another second advising you. You're... you're incorrigible!' Then he hung up, leaving my heart broken into million pieces.


I didn't and couldn't care less. I thought that Benjamin had become a paranoid. I began to mix with Sean's group. I felt safe being accepted by so many people. They didn't care about my gay issue. They were cool with it. I liked them. A lot!

Since then, I've turned from a smoker to a stealer and finally to a drug addict. I've stolen things, I've killed people, I've injured them and hurt my family. I did not know it was wrong. Seriously!

2nd October 2015, a date I will never forget, as it was when I was 24 years old. Benjamin betrayed me. he called the police and lodged a report about me - his friend. When the cops broke into our room (while we were planning for the next robbery), all Sean's members managed to run away. Including Sean. How stupid have I been? Sean wanted me in their group because I was too naive! Sean's members hurt me a lot when they said something before they had fled. 'All these while, we hate gays! You're stupid enough to believe us, moron! Ha, ha, ha!!!' That was the last time I saw them. Then the cops arrested me and interrogated me for days. I told them everything I knew.


In ten minute's time, I will be punished. Yes, you guessed it right. A death sentence. I regretted so much since my arrest and I have cried thinking about Benjamin's advice, my family and myself.

"What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away, in the end..."

'Mr. Alex Choy Kong Leong. Your time is up and now please follow me.' The warden told me. I regretted everything but it was too late. In a minute, I would die - hanged to death. Johnny Cash's 'Hurt' was playing even louder in my head then.

"You could have it all, my empire of dirt.
If I could start again, I would find a way."

Now, I realise how right my friend was.

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