Yesterday, God finally answered my call! I love You, God. Thanks for granting my wish. My Dad's sickness is finally over.
Dad, if you read this...
I wanna apologize that I have not been a good son to you, by sinning against you when you were down. I was/am naive about the circumstances and plans that you have laid for me. You might come home drunk, you might talk nonsense. You might even scold me for my wrongdoings. You left me. You came back. You left me again. You came back again. You didn't know that last week was my first time, I shed tears for you when I knew you were leaving back to the UK again. I guess, all these while, when I lied to myself and said, "Let things be. I don't wanna be bothered," was just a lie. That night, when I cried, I noticed that whatever that happened, whatever psychological torture you gave me since you met Patricia, I couldn't hate you, although I did say so a few times in the past. I simply couldn't. My heart denied that feeling that I was trying to plant into it (because I don't wanna be hurt in future anymore). You have lost my respect since you didn't hear my pleas.
But yesterday, Dad. You have gained my respect again. I could finally see your responsibility as a Dad, not just giving me my financial needs for the next 4 years to come but also gave me advices regarding investments and savings as well as protecting me last night. I finally see it. You have always respected my choices in whatever I do and only detest my choices when I am proven to have bad judgments, now I shall respect your choice to go back to the UK. Thank you, Dad. I love you. I also love You, God for giving me such pleasant evening yesterday, although it rained pretty badly at first.
That's not all. My English teacher also told me that I am very unique when it comes to acting. She said that not many could actually forget who they are in reality to get into the role of the characters. We also discussed on the matter of synchronization of music and acting lines. Apparently there is a very huge breach of communication between these two. It was my fault for neglecting the music line. I'm sorry. All in all, next Monday, everything shall be discussed and finalized. The performance is coming nearer each minute and I still can't see something solid from the group. Despite the fact that we have been practising since the beginning of the semester, we still have a lot of space for improvement. I am a fair person and I am saying this justly, "If we don't do something about this by next week, we'll be humiliating ourselves on the stage next month."
When I reached home and went for my Music Theory class, there was another message uttered with sincerity by my Music teacher which inspired me, and thus I believed that my enthusiasm has made her day too...
We were in Melody Composition. It was an eight-bar melody of composition. I chose to compose for the cello (I will always do so, because that's the only bass-clef instrument I know of) and my teacher and I volleyed each other on the melody at cadence points. She told me that she has always taught her students to reply to the opening melody by using SEQUENCE/ IMITATION, because to her, that's the safest method (besides scales of course).
My words touched her; I said, "Sorry. Please let me think of the melody. It's running in my head already," we kept quiet until I wrote my last note. After I wrote out the melody, she tried changing it by using her method of teaching her students - sequence/ imitation. I said, "No. It is not meant to be played this manner. The final note cannot be played with the low F note. This piece is meant to be happy! The low F note suggests 'This is the end of my melody composition and I want you to clap NOW'." She smiled and nodded her head and we agreed on retaining the high F note.
Then, she told me to add the musical performance directions which I immediately added because such articulations were already in my head when she tried my melody on the piano. I noticed that she asked me a lot of questions (I sensed she was quite excited) during my "decorating" session, "Upbow, downbow?" "Want to slur?" "Louder here perhaps?" I took some and rejected many. I did not mean to disrespect her. I wanted to prove to her that, that was what was in my mind and I wanted her to comment on my composition. I also believe that compositions are never rigid. The 4 golden rules (Sequence, Imitation, Repetition and Contrast) and simply provided as guidelines. I did more passing and auxilliary notes and broken chords instead.
When it was time to bid each other goodbye, she finally said, "All these while, I have never met a student which has the melody constructed in their heads. They always follow what I say. If I do not tell them what to do, in their minds, they're all empty."
I retorted, "But, come on! All you students play the piano. Can't they imagine?"
Her reply was very sensible, "Don't you know that most children are forced by their parents?"
I kept quiet, knowing that she was absolutely right about this. She progressed on talking about her colleague who has been teaching the piano for 14 years never has a student going for the ABRSM Grade 8 practical examination. I couldn't agree more on her heartache.
She also voiced her sadness (though not directly) to me about how her students seem uninterested and how they all show very slow progress in their practical. Then I joked, "Then, Mr. William is indeed very lucky to have me as his student for guitar! I am the fastest student in his classes. Usually, one month, we will go up another level." I bid her goodbye and good night.
To these people, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all have made my day. Really. Thank you.
Kyrie eleison; Supplicanti parce, Deus.
PS: For my non-avid readers, my Dad's sickness, it's metaphorical.
PSS: Damn! As I do my editing of the title, I just noticed that yesterday was indeed a special day - thanks to 11/11/11!!
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