Faith

One thing about faith, at least to me:
"You cannot take that away from me when I have faith on some certain entities unless, I am whole-heartedly disappointed with those entities."

My faith on something which I have had for about... 4 years is depleting. Why? Refer to the paragraph above.

I have done my job but then again being asked to visit these entities, or should I say this... organization. A temporary one. Over and over again. I went to visit them today, knowing a few things I should not know. After all, I am already the "previous" generation.

"Alex, are you coming tomorrow?"
Nope.
"Why?"
Lazy.
"Lazy? You've nothing to do at home. Come on."

So you are implementing  that I have to come even I have nothing to do at home? Hah.

Nonsense.

Imagine. A masterpiece you compose with all sorts of melodies running in your mind but when it comes to the real world, the masterpiece seems like a joke to everyone. At least, to my eyes. I was the composer, flanked with another friend.

The five-movement symphony (I know symphony has only 4 movements, by the way) that I would hope to hear with a glee smile turns into pile of ash. Joke. Laughters. Mockery. OK, I am exaggerating this part already but that's what I am feeling now. The symphony has turned into a joke. Perhaps it'd be better when I am gone and this piece is being recognized. Ha ha, impossible.

Would you still... "Go tomorrow" to watch them put up a joke up there again?
I don't think anyone with the sane mind would do that but I believe anyone with the saint mind would. They're gifted people. I am not. I have my limits.

I am done scribbling. Although not anyone would understand this post, I am just glad that I've poured it out.


Supplicanti parce, Deus.